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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Soft - and sneaky - zilla

612 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 22/06/2018 16:17

So at group today she tried to do the same as last week. As soon as party mum lived away from me there she was. This week tho we'd decided that party mum would just come back to me when she wanted (and group leader was waiting to ask her to leave if she followed). Whenever she was with me softzilla stayed away, but as soon as she left my side there she'd be. Softzilla left early as has become normal.
Unfortunately the group is a church group. Tho group leader runs the group technically the vicar oversees. And he had said that until softzilla does something wrong AT GROUP he doesn't want them to get involved.
However, in a possibly slightly more sinister turn, me and party mum decided to go Aldi on the way home. It could be a coincidence but when we turned an aisle there was softzilla. Every time we turned an aisle. When we went to the tills she joined the line next to us. And when we got out she'd parked right next to my car too. She didn't acknowledge us but was just there. It could be a coincidence but she has been VERY vocal in the past about not shopping there (wouldn't ever fed her DC cheap food! She'd only feed them quality.)
I know it seems like nothing but I'm glad party mum was there and feel like I'll be looking over my shoulder again. Police? Or still too minor? She didn't approach and it could have been a coincidence.

OP posts:
MsJolly · 31/07/2018 09:43

Crumbs she is batshit!

BerylStreep · 31/07/2018 09:49

I think you need to get the police to take formal action. She has been warned, and is not going to stop. I'm sorry, but she has you firmly in her sights and doesn't like she is going to stop.

Imagine what she would have done if party mum had given her the address of your relative? There was absolutely nothing nice or caring about her trying to send you that card, it was all about getting under your skin and very probably about trying to get your location.

I'm impressed that party mum was able to get hold of the Investigating Officer at short notice and he was able to attend playgroup.

Both of you absolutely need to follow this up formally with the police. The time for warnings was several months ago. Shame on that vicar for being so bloody weak.

fuzzyfozzy · 31/07/2018 10:24

I think I'd be getting in touch with your police contact and asking what happens now. She's obviously not over the issue and further steps need to be taken.

Ginkypig · 31/07/2018 11:27

If anything she has progressed her behaviour.

She is now regularly harassing people who know you for information about you and your location. She has also started to show her behaviour in public (collection and tantrum etc) she has started to unravel and people like that can become violent (not saying she will obviously)

She has completely ignored all methods to dissuade her including police involvement and solicitors letters!

Time to go back to the police, ask group leader and partymum if they could possibly also come to tell police about behaviours while your not there or actually to make complaints themselves as they have also been subjected to abuse and harassment.

Ask police about next steps as a friendly warning has been completely ignored.

Powerless · 31/07/2018 20:39

Any update @Unreasonableunreasonableness ? X

Laiste · 31/07/2018 20:51

I'd love to know if she growled at anyone during all that ...

One thing you can be sure of OP - the woman has made herself look unhinged in front of A LOT of people now. You'll be getting a lot more sympathy for your troubles with her.

Flowers
Lwoj · 31/07/2018 21:01

Wonder if she snapped and farted in the rage

Tistheseason17 · 31/07/2018 21:04

Wow, OP. Sorry to hear about further crap landing on you both with family and this unstable woman. Hope things improve.

Flowers
notapizzaeater · 01/08/2018 10:28

Wow, she's unhinged ....

HeyPesto55 · 01/08/2018 21:41

Obviously you need to step away, OP, but has anyone (friend/Police/husband) thought of involving a MH professional? She sounds like she clearly has obsessive tendencies that should probably be addressed for the sake of her functioning relationships/child, if nothing else.

I know we only hear one side but I would really, really worry about any acquaintance behaving like this.

Again, clearly you just need to step away/avoid like the plague but someone must at some point care about her enough to get involved and find out what's underneath it all...

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 09/08/2018 09:08

Sorry for the silence after all your support. Things have taken a rather more serious and frightening turn including social services turning up on my doorstep. We are now pursuing it in a formal legal way and have been advised to stop posting on here( though I can answer pms).
Thank you all for your support, perhaps I will be able to post to update when we have a resolution.

OP posts:
Hortonlovesahoo · 09/08/2018 09:11

Oh @unreasonableunreasonableness :'( I was really hoping that the silence would be because she had gone quiet and was not harassing you anymore.

I'm so sorry that you're still having issues

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 09/08/2018 09:14

Oh my god. I’m so sorry Flowers

I was hoping you were enjoying a lovely quiet summer. She is seriously ill. I hope everything gets sorted as soon as possible. If there is anything a wee stranger on the Internet can do to help (even just vent!) I am always here. I’ve followed this from the beginning and I was really hoping this was just one of those regular cf stories

Take care Flowers

ohfourfoxache · 09/08/2018 09:15

Holy fucking shit Shock

I’m so sorry this has escalated, the woman is an absolute basket case

Good luck, and don’t forget that if you need some “general” support there is the place that shall not be named x

Whereismumhiding2 · 09/08/2018 09:28

FlowersFlowersFlowers

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 09/08/2018 09:34

💐 to you OP.

ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 09/08/2018 09:34

Good luck and stay strong op! Flowers

Groovee · 09/08/2018 09:36

So sorry to hear how things have gone. Hoping that the legal route sorts it out for you x

daffodillament · 09/08/2018 09:39

Holy cow ! Good luck. You were right to trust your instincts all along. X

sunshinewithabitofdrizzle · 09/08/2018 09:41

oh goodness, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that you can get a resolution to this soon :(

JingsMahBucket · 09/08/2018 09:42

Oh no, this is awful. I'm so sorry @Unreasonableunreasonableness. At least now that a legal presence is being involved, there can possibly be a good resolution. Flowers

LimboLuna · 09/08/2018 09:47

Good luck op
I’m hoping legal means police rather than solicitors. Solicitors are great but this woman needs this on her police record as her husbands reaction implies your not the first.
I didn’t want to post earlier but there’s a group who want The police PINs banned as they have no legal standing at all. So for cases like yours they are utterly pointless as there’s no deterrent or back bone to it.

Good luck op and stay safe

mateysmum · 09/08/2018 09:49

Blimey! She's not just bonkers but vindictive as well if my 2+2 is adding up correctly as to why social services turned up.
Because she is nuts, she doesn't realise how much evidence and how many witnesses there are who would vouch for you against her.
You have my sympathy. This is a horrible thing to happen to you and now to your family.

ToadsforJustice · 09/08/2018 09:52

I'm sorry this is happened to you OP, but I'm not surprised. It's part of the script. I hope you get your life back soon.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 09/08/2018 09:55

Hopefully this thread can assist you in getting things sorted with Ss. You have done nothing wrong op. We all here for you.