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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Soft - and sneaky - zilla

612 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 22/06/2018 16:17

So at group today she tried to do the same as last week. As soon as party mum lived away from me there she was. This week tho we'd decided that party mum would just come back to me when she wanted (and group leader was waiting to ask her to leave if she followed). Whenever she was with me softzilla stayed away, but as soon as she left my side there she'd be. Softzilla left early as has become normal.
Unfortunately the group is a church group. Tho group leader runs the group technically the vicar oversees. And he had said that until softzilla does something wrong AT GROUP he doesn't want them to get involved.
However, in a possibly slightly more sinister turn, me and party mum decided to go Aldi on the way home. It could be a coincidence but when we turned an aisle there was softzilla. Every time we turned an aisle. When we went to the tills she joined the line next to us. And when we got out she'd parked right next to my car too. She didn't acknowledge us but was just there. It could be a coincidence but she has been VERY vocal in the past about not shopping there (wouldn't ever fed her DC cheap food! She'd only feed them quality.)
I know it seems like nothing but I'm glad party mum was there and feel like I'll be looking over my shoulder again. Police? Or still too minor? She didn't approach and it could have been a coincidence.

OP posts:
Winterbella · 30/07/2018 12:10

I just don't understand why she wasn't up on a charge of breach of the peace at this stage, surely she has had enough warnings!

lostincake · 30/07/2018 12:10

She was trying to get the address where you were staying so she could turn up Shock?

Maelstrop · 30/07/2018 12:14

She is batshit. What part of leaving you the hell alone has she not understood? I think it’s worth you speaking to your police contact again and asking him to see her and be really firm about leaving you alone and explaining what that means! Single white female or what?!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 30/07/2018 12:23

Bloody hell. Glad you’re back and your family are ok.

But yeah in one way it’s handy. she’s making herself look crazy. She’s shown it’s nothing to do with you!

But i would contact the police especially in reference to her harassing your friend for your address. Given she’s been told to back off asking for your address (presumably so she can harass you further) is just so far wrong as to be unbelievable. I’d see what they have to say.

Sorry it’s still ongoing. But hopefully you can have a relaxing summer Flowers

Aprilshowersinjuly · 30/07/2018 12:28

She is truly unhinged!!

justilou1 · 30/07/2018 12:31

Oh my god!!! She needs medication!!!

GreenTulips · 30/07/2018 12:41

The only positive thing here is a time least she is now bugging other people and they are also getting the same treatment - so it shows it's definitely her and nothing you are doing!

Glad she has the sense to call the police officer.

Glad she's gone but may well step it up a notch

Groovee · 30/07/2018 13:08

My goodness me! She doesn't know when to stop does she?

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/07/2018 13:15

”I just don't understand why she wasn't up on a charge of breach of the peace at this stage,”

Because that isn’t what breach of the peace is.

OP sorry this is still going on after all the stress you’ve had. Hope the ban from group is enough to end this. Are you likely to end up with kids at the same school in a few years?

Cagliostro · 30/07/2018 14:00

Wow she is really unhinged

worstmotherintheworld · 30/07/2018 14:04

She's round the bloody bend! What a bizarre situation. At least it's not your word against hers, she has definitely showed her true colours in front of everyone now. I think a lot of people will be giving her a wide berth from now on.

RandomMess · 30/07/2018 14:45

Just Shock

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 30/07/2018 14:49

She is that unhinged that despite being told your relative had not died she still wanted to send you a sorry for your loss card?

I mean, I know the reason was more about getting your location, but even on the surface that's completely batshit.

ItsNachoCheese · 30/07/2018 15:05

I was hoping your hassle with softzilla had died down... alas it seems not

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/07/2018 15:09

utterly Bonkers and revealing it to all in your absence - people will see its her not you, especially when she is arguing with Group Leader in front of people. At least the Vicar has taken the blinkers off too. So sorry for all the stress you've had to go through, but hopefully this will decrease now that you've got your relative settled. It's a big job sorting out someone's house, the only advice I can offer is grind through it, once it's done it's done. Your DC's school absence during the heatwave won't matter so much, teachers expect them to forget things over the summer holidays. I hope the break gives you a chance to relax and de stress with your lovely DCs and helps make the Softzilla days seem more and more remote. Best wishes

Jux · 30/07/2018 15:09

Oh gosh Unreasonable, she is batshit crazy. I, too, think she wanted your address just to harrass you more, and she might even have shown up 'to help'.

There was a woman a bit like that in a group I used to belong to. Luckily, I wasn't the object of her obsession. The woman who was the object contacted me by text one meeting day, to say she wouldn't be there as she'd had a health scare, with ambulances etc, she'd been blue lighted to hospital the night before, but was home and all fine now, just very tired. All the time I was trying to relay the message, the mad woman was interrupting, at first to say "oh I didn't see any ambulances" right the way through to "yes, she's very ill, I'll be visiting her later in hospital if there are any messages, if you want to wish her well just tell ME". I was happy to say very very firmly (and quite loudly) that she was fine now and home "so no need for you to worry; she wants to be left alone." very pointedly.

That woman just wanted to seem like she was the closest friend and knew everything about our friend, that she was first point of contact and relayer of news. Really, she just wanted everyone to think she was important, and focussed on our friend because that friend was the one who had got the group together.

Do you think Softzilla has picked you because she thinks you are the lynch pin, so she wanted everyone to think she was closer to the most important person than anyone else? I know you don't see yourself like that, but maybe because you had friends in a number of different groups she saw you as THE person to hang with?

captainpantbeard · 30/07/2018 15:13

Why isn't the group leader writing to her about not coming to the group? Otherwise it's just going to escalate again.

billybagpuss · 30/07/2018 15:14

Wow, haven't seen any of these threads since April, can't believe it hasn't gone away. Flowers

billybagpuss · 30/07/2018 15:15

It did occur to me though having read the intervening 2 threads this afternoon - maybe the £5 she told the police you owed her was the food and entry cost from the first soft play!!!!

Hortonlovesahoo · 30/07/2018 15:18

Crickey OP. I really do wonder what shes trying to achieve with all of this. I hope that she won’t keep contacting you, party mum or anyone else at the group over summer

ohfourfoxache · 30/07/2018 15:20

WTAF? Shock

CrabbityRabbit · 30/07/2018 15:27

How absolutely batshit of her.

Sorry for your troubles OP. Flowers

fuzzyfozzy · 30/07/2018 15:35

Bat
Crap
Crazy

zzzzz · 30/07/2018 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheLionRoars1110 · 30/07/2018 16:31

Good grief!! She's totally unhinged.

I'm sorry things haven't improved. At least she won't be back after that stunt.

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