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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Soft - and sneaky - zilla

612 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 22/06/2018 16:17

So at group today she tried to do the same as last week. As soon as party mum lived away from me there she was. This week tho we'd decided that party mum would just come back to me when she wanted (and group leader was waiting to ask her to leave if she followed). Whenever she was with me softzilla stayed away, but as soon as she left my side there she'd be. Softzilla left early as has become normal.
Unfortunately the group is a church group. Tho group leader runs the group technically the vicar oversees. And he had said that until softzilla does something wrong AT GROUP he doesn't want them to get involved.
However, in a possibly slightly more sinister turn, me and party mum decided to go Aldi on the way home. It could be a coincidence but when we turned an aisle there was softzilla. Every time we turned an aisle. When we went to the tills she joined the line next to us. And when we got out she'd parked right next to my car too. She didn't acknowledge us but was just there. It could be a coincidence but she has been VERY vocal in the past about not shopping there (wouldn't ever fed her DC cheap food! She'd only feed them quality.)
I know it seems like nothing but I'm glad party mum was there and feel like I'll be looking over my shoulder again. Police? Or still too minor? She didn't approach and it could have been a coincidence.

OP posts:
MachineBee · 10/07/2018 16:09

So sorry OP. Life has a habit of chucking everything at you all at the same time. Hoping everything gets resolved soon. Flowers

LexieLulu · 10/07/2018 16:28

I hadn't seen this new thread but had commented on old threads.

Sorry about your recent update OP Sad hope things look up soon.

And I'm also really sorry that she's upset you so much you're nervous to go the shop. I'm glad police are on your side

Willow2017 · 11/07/2018 08:17

Flowers sorry about your relative Unreasonable hope you get things sorted soon and they get the care they need pdq.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 11/07/2018 16:56

Sorry to hear that and Best wishes OP.

BlueEyedBengal · 12/07/2018 11:47
Thanks
HeyPesto55 · 12/07/2018 22:57

Wishing you family member a speedy recovery Thanks

LaContessaDiPlump · 13/07/2018 10:45

Hope your family member is ok op.

librarylover53 · 20/07/2018 19:49

How is everything OP?

SandyFagina · 20/07/2018 19:52

This storyline has ended love.

YearOfYouRemember · 20/07/2018 19:58
Hmm
librarylover53 · 20/07/2018 20:24

Not your 'love' Hmm

CarpeVitam · 20/07/2018 21:25

Wonders why SandyFagina is still here then if, as she says, "this storyline has ended". 🤔

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 21/07/2018 07:37

Thank you guys so much for your well wishes.
A home for my relative has been secured but I'm still not home yet as some packing up needs to be done for the house to go on the market. Feeling really guilty that my dc has missed the last couple weeks of term.
I believe there have been some things going on back home but party mum and group leader say they have sorted it out and not to worry.
Summer hols now so hopefully all has a chance to blow over.

OP posts:
Groovee · 21/07/2018 07:44

ThanksThanks

TheMaddHugger · 21/07/2018 07:45

Glad your Rellie has a home now. Would be such a relief for you.

Must be honest and say I am mighty curious about whatever went on back at soft play.

Don't feel too bad about your DC. Shite happens. Couldn't help it. Wasn't your fault.

(((((((Hugs))))))

HoneyBadgerApparently · 21/07/2018 08:08

Dont feel bad you're teaching your DC the importance of respecting older people and being there for family when they need you Flowers

Motoko · 21/07/2018 08:57

Don't worry about your DC missing the last couple of weeks of term. It couldn't be helped, and the end of the year is probably the best time as they're not doing any serious work then, as things are winding down.

I'm glad your relative now has a home, that's one less thing to worry about at this stressful time.

I too am curious about what's been going on! I wonder if SZ has been given her marching orders. She must have been so frustrated that you haven't been there!

RandomMess · 21/07/2018 09:01
Thanks
TheMaddHugger · 21/07/2018 10:22

@Motoko 'I too am curious about what's been going on! I wonder if SZ has been given her marching orders. She must have been so frustrated that you haven't been there!'

Or she was doing a victory dance and they had to set her straight ?

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 24/07/2018 20:12

Glad to hear your relative had managed to find a home. Hope you manage to get the packing etc sorted soon too Flowers

NachoFries · 25/07/2018 16:46
Flowers
justilou1 · 27/07/2018 13:51

Hi OP - I keep checking in to see if you're okay. Glad your relative is safely housed, and sorry you have so much work ahead of you. I have recently been through something similar and I can only say that at times like this it sucks to be a grownup. I hope you have support around for you as well.

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 30/07/2018 11:57

Hey there! Well I'm finally home and settled again ( And it has felt good to be home and catch up with people again! )
I had a catch up with party mum and group leader yesterday, they came and brought a present round that they bought with a small collection the mums at group had and have filled me in on what happened while I was away.
So the person who warned that softzilla might try to use this to worm her way back in was right! The first (of 3) groups that I missed she turned up having (mis)heard about something having happened with a relative. However she thought that the relative had died and brought a 'sorry for your loss' card which she proceeded to get all the mums to sign and get them to donate for a present. Not something we normally do. Unfortunately she didn't approach anyone who actually knew what had happened until right at the end of the session when everyone was leaving. When corrected about this apparently she got very angry and even angrier when group leader was brought over and explained that she couldn't let softzilla go home with money collected at group for a purpose that was incorrect. She left the money but took the card and stormed out.
She then spent the next week messaging party mum, having tracked her down through fb, trying to pressure her to find out and send her the address of where I was as she still wanted to send a card that she had put the signatures collected in but not to tell me about her asking as she wanted it to be a surprise to 'lighten my awful time'. After the first few messages party mum just ignored her but she carried on sending a few a day.
She didn't come to the second group but group leader had a chat with the mums and explained what was going on with me and that she hadn't authorised the collection. She tried to organise giving the money back but people couldn't remember how much they had been given and they all decided that they still wanted to go ahead and get a little something with it and had a chat about what to get.
At the 3rd group softzilla turned up and immediately started bugging party mum for an address and when group leader came over she revealed she had bought a gift and she expected to be paid back for it out of the collection money. When group leader explained what has been discussed last week and that another gift had now been bought using that money she totally kicked off saying they had no right to spend that money. It was at this point that party mum called my police contact and he said he would come over. When he arrived softzilla was still arguing with group leader who was asking her to leave (a number of the other mums had left in this time). He was able to calm things down and get her to leave. He stayed for a bit to make sure things were calm and has since spoken to the vicar too and he has agreed that party mum will write to softzilla informing her not to come back to the group again.
No group now till after the summer!

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 30/07/2018 12:02

See, even without you being anywhere near, this stupid cow is still able to create drama out of nowhere.

KinkyAfro · 30/07/2018 12:02

She really is bonkers isn't she? What is she getting from the whole situation?