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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu and not volunteer again

264 replies

Metoodear · 22/06/2018 07:39

So I got myself on a very important volunteer job 6 months ago as I was only working one day a week

So thought I would do some good recently I had to resign as I have a pt job 3 days a week and tbh the volunteer job needs doing well and I wouldn’t have the time as I don’t want to a shit job because I am trying to do to much

Sent a lovey letter about how much I had enjoyed myself and thanked them for the opportunity

I didn’t even get a smiley face emoji back
Ducking rude or is it just me and they wonder why they struggle to get people

Aibu to think I should of got even a email thanking me for my time

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 23/06/2018 00:12

Ego @Willow2017? How peculiar.

Has it escaped your notice that I work for an organisation that supports and values its volunteers?

Now toddle off and deliver your rather strange spikey vitriol to the numerous posters who've actually attacked the OP.

Willow2017 · 23/06/2018 00:15

You keep asking me for proof that op has been slagged off! If you didnt want to know why keep asking me?

What with ego?

GreyGardens88 · 23/06/2018 00:19

Many years ago I went an interview (yes) for a volunteer role at the Manchester museum of science and industry. Trudged through snow, train cancellations and the expense of getting there plus about 2 hours in the interview?? Anyway they never even got back to me after to say thanks but no thanks..that was the worst ever, so rude and I've never been back

ilovesooty · 23/06/2018 00:25

I don't keep doing anything. Perhaps you would have found my question easier to comprehend if I'd asked where someone had said the OP ought to do without a boiler.

Still, not worth making a drama of it. Hmm

Apologies to the OP for any derailment of her thread.

ilovesooty · 23/06/2018 00:28

We interview our volunteer spplicants

However @GreyGardens88 that was breathtakingly rude.

Willow2017 · 23/06/2018 07:59

Oh away and mither someone else.

Sevendown · 23/06/2018 09:15

I’ve neverbeen thanked for volunteering.

I didn’t think it was a thing.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 23/06/2018 09:29

Volunteers should be treated with courtesy and respect and should feel valued. It's polite to thank someone for their time and commitment, just as in any other area of life.

Where a charity relies on volunteers it is in their best interests to get the relationship right. This includes charities which are run by volunteers. More experienced volunteers can set the tone for the newer ones.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 23/06/2018 09:31

I volunteer and have done for a few organizations

The ones that treat their volunteers well and with respect are by far the better run they are the backbone of many places and that should be recognized

We get thanked at work for what we do and when we have gone above what is expected (very often) that should happen regardless if you are being paid or not. management recognition of staff/volunteer work is very important for morale

Of course some people want a gold shiny star for volunteering but I am not getting that from the op just a recognition for her time she has given

TheFirstMrsDV · 23/06/2018 10:20

&I’ve neverbeen thanked for volunteering

I didn’t think it was a thing

You didn't think politeness was a thing?

petrolpump28 · 23/06/2018 10:32

Im so sick of this " a thing". Where did it come from?

Of course thanking somebody for giving up their time is normal.

petrolpump28 · 23/06/2018 10:34

oh and I'm also sick of " so"

Willow2017 · 23/06/2018 16:09

I thought basic good manners had always been around. Its not a new 'thing'!

hotcuppaplease · 23/06/2018 16:15

I have been a volunteer coordinator. I tried to thank them all, at least every hour.
OP you are not being unreasonable. And I thank you for all your hard work. Please don't let this put you off volunteering in the future.
Grammar police, piss off!

Ohyesiam · 23/06/2018 16:16

I don’t think Yabu
Volunteers should of course be thanked and recognised for all they do. You’ve given a lot, it would be good for that to be acknowledged.

Can’t see why you are getting a hard time op, maybe it’s all people who don’t say thanks on shops because it’s the persons job to serve them.

It takes almost nothing to be generous with praise and thanks, and ime it makes the world work better. But then I am an old hippy.

Lizzie48 · 23/06/2018 16:34

As I said earlier, my experience of volunteering has always been positive. I've made good friends and I always felt appreciated. I'll always remember working as a volunteer at a school for physically disabled children and young people (Shaftesbury Society) when I was 19. I did office and domestic work and I loved it.

I used to jokingly refer to myself as everyone's 'dogsbody'. When it was time for me to leave, to start uni, they gave me a mug with the caption 'Dogsbody, Lovely Legs'. Grin

I'm sorry for those of you who have had a bad experience of volunteering. I would urge you not to let that put you off. It can be really rewarding and also lots of fun with like-minded people.

petrolpump28 · 23/06/2018 16:45

so , sorry to derail but where did this " a thing" come from please?

MamaMiapartytime · 23/06/2018 16:51

I think their is a pendants corner

lizzie1970a · 23/06/2018 16:52

Yes, they should have thanked you. It doesn't matter how long you gave them. You're a volunteer and while I'm sure it's hassle for them to find and train someone else that is part and parcel of that world, surely. People aren't being paid and their circumstances change and they have to look after themselves first. You'd think that would be understood. The manager at that place you emailed was rude. It doesn't matter how peeved he is, he should have got over it and said thank you for your time, it was very much appreciated and we wish you well in the future etc. That way, perhaps in the future you would go back and help out but he's not had the long-sightedness to see that. Silly man. You'd be an ideal future volunteer there too as you wouldn't need training.

ttprw · 23/06/2018 16:56

Ha!

If you want or expect thanks then volunteering isn't for you

(Bitter? Me? 😁)

Amanduh · 23/06/2018 17:02

Well I don’t think yabu OP. I also usually defend mumsnet from the ‘them lot are a bunch of horrible vipers who will jump on you for a misplaced comma’ bunch, but this thread has made me doubt that.

Wills · 23/06/2018 18:24

I've not managed to read through all the threads as kids are demanding dinner so please update me if I'm missing the point.

When did the British Culture lose the desire/ability for saying thank you to someone???!!! Yes she volunteered and yes she had to leave, but have charities seriously got to the point where they are so full of themselves they don't believe that simply typing the response "so sorry to see you go, thank you for your help and hopefully we'll see you again sometime" in order that she might hopefully return when the situation was better?! That took me 15 seconds to type! So if you can only type with two fingers maybe it MIGHT take a whole 60 seconds! Its pretty arrogant to think that anyone shouldn't expect a quick thank you JUST because it was for free. Lets turn this around. I employ a cleaner twice a week. I PAY her. Does that mean I don't need to thank her? Of course not - thats part and parcel of being polite and for me British! With 4 kids (3 with autism) and a dh that works abroad 9 months of the year I've not had a lot of time to 'volunteer', but with one off to university and all now in full-time education I thought I'd start looking. But seriously - if the attitude is I should never expect a quick/friendly "cheers for your help" ever - then I'm not bothering. Yet I don't believe you're right, because the few times I have managed to help out/volunteer I've always been showered with thank yous (more than necessary) and thus the moment I could (v. rare) always went back to do more.

Yes I believe a quick response back to OP would have left her feeling valued and would lead to her being far more likely to return the moment she could.

Wills · 23/06/2018 18:29

And - cos dinner is probably now burning - OP - next time find another less arrogant group/need to volunteer for! Sounds like this one is so inundated with volunteers they don't feel its necessary to be polite anymore.

ANNOYED - BOILING MAD

GinMeUpButtercup · 23/06/2018 19:01

I write this as someone who runs 3 service which rely totally on volunteers. You should absolutely have a reply to your email thanking you for you time. However, and this will massively depend on the establishment and I am speaking purely from personal experience and circumstance, it can easily take us over 2 weeks to reply to a non urgent email. The manager is there to deal with the day to day running and the volunteers are essentially bodies to allow the manager to manage. If there are not enough volunteers the manager becomes a volunteer and so emails are majorly at the bottom of the pile.

I really hope this is a similar scenario to your volunteering because if not it’s shitty behaviour.

Takethemdown · 23/06/2018 19:07

My then 14 year old volunteered for a year for a children's group and was by all accounts a massive help. A few months in they were taking groups of children for activities without assistance (adults where there still) while some of the other volunteers played on their phones or weren't interested and just doing it for CVs or made by parents.

When Christmas came and the staff exchanged gifts they hadn't even got him so much as a card. He didn't want a gift at all but a card would have been nice or even something made from the kids.

He didn't go back.