Aibu and not volunteer again

[Metoodear]

So I got myself on a very important volunteer job 6 months ago as I was only working one day a week

So thought I would do some good recently I had to resign as I have a pt job 3 days a week and tbh the volunteer job needs doing well and I wouldn’t have the time as I don’t want to a shit job because I am trying to do to much

Sent a lovey letter about how much I had enjoyed myself and thanked them for the opportunity


I didn’t even get a smiley face emoji back
Ducking rude or is it just me and they wonder why they struggle to get people

Aibu to think I should of got even a email thanking me for my time

[Lizzie48]

I do think YANBU about the lack of a thank you letter, that was rude. I've volunteered in several different places and formed really good relationships with the people I worked with. I would encourage you not to allow this experience to put you off volunteering again, most places are not like this in my experience.

However, and I mean it in the nicest possible way, they might have responded in a better way if you'd told them that you were leaving face to face rather than by email.

The comments about spelling and grammar were, I think, well meant. It's actually the lack of punctuation that makes your posts difficult to to read.

[Bearfam]

ICantCopeAnymore it was fairly clearly implied.

[petrolpump28]

Doesnt every human being have an ego?

[Onecutefox]

There is a well-known charity in my area. They always look for the volunteers. A have donated many good things so they could raise some money. I have seen how they chuck out what people give to them and then every other week a truck comes and takes lots of stuff away. I can only presume this will be sold to dealers to go to Second Hand shops abroad. On a few occasions I was thinking of volunteering for them but I didn't think I could do lots of sewing, ironing, cleaning, going through dirty clothes. As I said, many things end up in the bin. Then people come in the evening and go through it. I imagine what if I did give my time to this charity and they wouldn't even acknowledge my efforts. That would make me feel like not to volunteer again.

[roundturnandtwohalfhitches]

Of course they should've thanked you. This thread is a perfect example of why they didn't. Because the world is full of dicks.

[hellokittymania]

Lucy, when I first started using dictation, I didn’t know that you had to say the punctuation mark for it to appear. The OP may have her reasons for not being able to write correctly. Anyway, are used to not punctuate anything either, because I didn’t know how to do it using dictation.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

I agree op should have been acknowledged and thanked. I also think volunteering is not done just for the appreciation, noone volunteers completely selflessly, I have volunteered all my life. I now work for an organisation that relies on volunteers to operate. There is a flexibility that volunteering offers that you don't get as an employee. There is the chance to do something useful, keep busy and get out into the community you live in, but not the same stress that working for an employer as you are not managed in the same way. The volunteer has power, they can leave they are not obligated to stay or even give notice.

[hellokittymania]

One cute fox, I think that’s another discussion altogether. I think I know which one you mean, and I don’t know if other organizations to similarly. I volunteered for one, but got sick of the gossip around me and some of the people were quite negative. Even though I was doing a lot of the work they were complaining that I was slow. Anyway, I wanted to volunteer and I think the place you mean here. And yes, if things aren’t used within two weeks, they get sent to broad.

Anyway, smaller organizations are usually the ones that really need help and most of them will really value it. So just keep looking. I’m sure you will find somebody to volunteer for.

[Johnnycomelately1]

They should have thanked you, but it was quite possibly an oversight. A lot of small and medium charities don't have the systems/ CRMs to manage relationships with donors and volunteers systematically, or indeed the processes. They have a single email address which might be administered by 10 different people. You can see how things can slide.

[hellokittymania]

Big mouth, I think some NGO volunteers do it for the selfies they can take. I’m serious. Sadly. Anyway, I’ve seen lots and lots of things over the years, many things would not be allowed in this country. People just walked up to me, some of them drunk, asking to visit “my school“.

It’s not my school, for starters, and I have to get permission if I bring foreign people there. Secondly, would you just go to a primary school in the UK drunk and asked to be going inside? They would never allow that. These people don’t even want to help, they just want to go and take pictures and then put them on Facebook. There is a good reason for having background checks before you volunteer, as annoying as they may be.

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Rude not to express thanks.....

However.... people often have no idea just how difficult it is training and managing volunteers...... I've done it....

Several times we stopped using volunteers as it took up so much time dealing with the fall out... It was more problematic than it was worth.... from

1. flaky volunteers... No it's not OK cancelling on the morning of you session as its 'just voluntary'.
   
   
2. ego tripping - had to manage the fall out after a completely power hungry early retiree caused loads of problems with other volunteers.... It cost us lost volunteers and hours of salaried employees ' time to sort it out. He was appalling...threatening to report people unless they bent to his will. We found out too late.
   
   

1. The gossipy ones.... Causing splits within the groups. Yes that was really nice that you past on your fellow volunteer's confided about her dying daughter to a random member of the public.
   

4) volunteers who only want to do the' nice bits'.

5) volunteers who lie about their past experience.... After we found the qualified accountant was barely literate and wiped half our database.

6 the ones the only reason they're volunteered as they have no have no friends /social life... You can see why....

[ShapelyBingoWing]

YANBU to think that basic manners should come into volunteering, no. When somebody works for free, there should be somebody prepared to thank them for it, after all, they're saving somebody a job or some money or keeping a service going.

IME, charities have always been brilliant at thanking me and other volunteers for my time. When I've volunteered for government funded places though (think along the lines of SureStart centres) I've found the 'feeling' to be more a case of they can't justify paying anyone to do the work so that makes it not something that deserved gratitude. The last volunteer role like this invited all the volunteers to a Christmas party with our kids, apparently being put on specifically for all our hard work as we'd kept a service they'd lost funding for running for 2 years. When we arrived on the day we found out that though our kids were welcome, we were actually there to run a Christmas party for the service users. The staff member who'd told us it was for us had only said that to get us all there on a morning we wouldn't normally be working and thought she could subtly wing it by asking us all 'favours'.

[Lycanthropology]

The comments about spelling and grammar were, I think, well meant. It's actually the lack of punctuation that makes your posts difficult to to read

I disagree that many/most were well meant ( though your own post was helpful and nice): many on here - and other threads - have criticised SPAG without even responding to the AIBU or offering the help and advice requested. It really does make them look like patronising arses.
If someone genuinely has little facility with grammar, punctuation or grammar, pointing out a couple of errors in a post won't suddenly fix this, and such people are just as deserving of help and advice as anyone else.
Would anyone genuinely do this in person... to a stranger, colleague etc.? "It's would HAVE, actually" I doubt it. Funny that.

[SleepingStandingUp]

@Metoodear so did you just drop them an email and never go in or contact them again? Or did you confirm they'd got it, worked your last shifts etc?

[4littlebirds]

iamthedevil all the things you have mentioned happen amongst salaried members of staff as well.
It’s almost like volunteers are human beings too, but in this instance they are giving their time for free.

[hellokittymania]

Avocado, I have some horror stories as well. That’s why, and especially important, when people do a really good job, I really appreciate it and I show it. It’s not easy to hire people, or to fire them. And unfortunately, I have had to fire people as well. But while they were working with me, I always treated them well.

And one of the kids I fired it runs her own business and from the looks of it, is doing pretty damn well. So I’m glad she got the experience with me.

People are people, no matter what sector. Somebody at a business conference said, if you were working with the basket of oranges, life would be very simple. But you’re not.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

Iamthedevils, I totally understand! I am dealing with much of that in my current role, and I worked with similar in my volunteering. I think it is too easy to both dismiss the importance of volunteers and the difficulties for staff who manage volunteers. It is herding cats sometimes and the "free" labour is sometimes done at the expense of a paid member of staff correcting mistakes afterwards... That is the reality. But strangely I still find working for a charity rewarding and very worthwhile, and most of the people I work with are interesting and caring and want to help.

[KasimirPushkino]

Please, it's 'would have' not 'would of'!

[ilovesooty]

Oh FFS. Do you feel better for pointing that out?

[Willow2017]

Not every volunteering job requires lengthy trianing or DBS checks.
Sometimes its just go in and do something behind the scenes to help it run smoothly, or make more money as in my case.

All this angst when nobody knows exactly what OP actually did, blaming her for causing the company stress/expense/leaving before the 'expected 6 years of working for sfa' were up! Seriously!

Why cant people concentrate on the actual theme of the ops post not find any old thing to criticise them for to stoke their own egos? Its perfectly clear what OP is saying in her posts, it may not be perfect grammer or spelling but its still clear. Posting just to rip the p out of someone isnt helping anyone.

[steppemum]

Well, I am a volunteer and manage many volunteers and saying thank you is definitely part of how to manage volunteers well.

There are some seriously po faced people on this thread.

Op has given several days per week of her own time over a number of months FREE to an organisation.
She sends a nice email stepping down. basic good manners says that whoever runs it should reply:

Thank you for all your help, sorry to see you go, hope the new job goes well.

One line,
One line which expresses good manners and the receipt of her email.

Have no idea why OP is getting a hard time.
and don't get me started on the 'I can see your kind from 10 paces, just want an ego rub'

no, just basic good manners, a thank you.
I despair

[Trialsmum]

Its ‘interesting’ that the rude people on this thread are also the ones who think that basic manners aren’t important in volunteering. I bet they’re the same ones who don’t think it necessary to thank the teachers for taking them on a school trip or get their children to thank their group leaders.

Yes you should have had a thankyou!

And to all the grammar pedants, do you feel really clever now you’ve jumped on the bandwagon and pointed out the OP’s minor mistake, “Ooh look at me everyone I know my grammar too’ 😂 pathetic!

[TheFirstMrsDV]

No one ever pointed out 'should of' and 'should have' until recently.
I suspect that is because its such a common mistake a lot of people didn't realise it was a mistake at all.
Then they saw others pointing it out and now they are all like 'omg PLEASE, it makes my teeth itch to see should of'

Its all a bit sad.

Anyway...I have volunteered quite a bit. I had my own reasons for wanting to. Experience mainly but that doesn't mean I wasn't giving for what I was gaining.
I was a communicator for a Deaf woman at a Deaf organisation for quite a long while. Of course it helped me massively with my sign language but it also saved that organisation ^thousands' of pounds.

I applied to do some volunteering with Plan International for purely altruistic reasons. They sat me at a desk with some work experience kids and told me to fill envelopes. They didn't talk to me all day. I never went back.
I did leading for Riding for the Disabled and put up with the, frankly, INSANE, people running it because I love horses and I know how much the kids get out of it.
But don't treat me like a twat or I will walk.

I can't believe that someone is demanding to know if the OP gave a 'required' period of notice plus handover. FGS you can't have it all ways. You either pay someone and give them a contract or you deal with the fact that volunteers are not bound by the same regulations and employees.

[ilovesooty]

The person who asked about that was me and I think it's a reasonable question.

My company invests a lot in volunteers. They get a lot of training, support to transition to employment and professional supervision just as employees do. I think asking them not to leave us in the lurch suddenly is reasonable. Of course sometimes people have problems and have to leave suddenly but we understand that and offer support. If someone's leaving because they have a paid job I don't see why they would need a sudden departure.

[ilovesooty]

And I wasn't "demanding to know".