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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu and not volunteer again

264 replies

Metoodear · 22/06/2018 07:39

So I got myself on a very important volunteer job 6 months ago as I was only working one day a week

So thought I would do some good recently I had to resign as I have a pt job 3 days a week and tbh the volunteer job needs doing well and I wouldn’t have the time as I don’t want to a shit job because I am trying to do to much

Sent a lovey letter about how much I had enjoyed myself and thanked them for the opportunity

I didn’t even get a smiley face emoji back
Ducking rude or is it just me and they wonder why they struggle to get people

Aibu to think I should of got even a email thanking me for my time

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 22/06/2018 13:06

Even if you didn’t get a “thank you for your service” email back, I’d at least expect a “we acknowledge receipt of your resignation” message.Confused

You sure it didn’t go into junk mail their end?

TheFirstMrsDV · 22/06/2018 13:10

The person who asked about that was me and I think it's a reasonable question

You cannot expect that from volunteers unless you have a contract i.e. we pay for your counselling training but you must give us 50 hours of counselling in return.

Having someone do admin, accounts, driving, gardening, purchasing etc for you and then expecting them to behave like a paid employee with a contract is not reasonable.

One of the reasons some people choose to volunteer is because they don't want to be or can't be bound by employment regulations.

BarbaraWarpecker · 22/06/2018 13:13

I think you absolutely are NOT BU to expect an email acknowledging your contribution and thanking you for your time and skills.
It's polite and good business etiquette.

LeighaJ · 22/06/2018 13:13

A quick thank you email response would have been polite and nice, but it's entirely possible they didn't even have time for that at the moment and then forgot about it later.

Or they just couldn't be fucked.

Basic manners continue to be on the decline.

Gazelda · 22/06/2018 13:21

OP, I think are reasonable to expect an acknowledgment of your contribution and thanks for your time.

But as this was the council, could your email have perhaps been forwarded to another team for processing - organising getting your badge back, exit interview etc?

Please don't tar (all) charities as having a similar attitude - every one I've been involved with values their volunteers highly and tries hard to make sure they feel acknowledged. You've done a good thing for your community, feel proud of that even if the council haven't put it in writing to you.

rookiemere · 22/06/2018 13:24

OP should have been thanked, but find original post a bit gear-grinding.
All volunteer posts are by their nature important. It would be interesting to know what was said in the leaving letter.

ilovesooty · 22/06/2018 13:24

I wasn't talking about employment regulations but I worded it badly if I mentioned required notice period. I meant basically not leaving suddenly if that could be avoided so I might have been wrong there.
If you access training, supervision etc I think asking you not to dump everything suddenly is reasonable if that's possible.

TheFirstMrsDV · 22/06/2018 13:31

True. You hope that volunteers won't leave you in the lurch but you can't expect it.
You just can't expect the same from volunteers as you do from employees.
Volunteers don't have to give any notice. Nor do employees on crappy contracts. Its a sort of pay off isn't it? You don't get the perks, you don't have the restrictions.

ciderhouserules · 22/06/2018 13:59

Can we please stop with all the grammar corrections? It's not in the spirit of the site and, quite frankly, you make yourself look like a complete dick. - I wasn't doing it (correcting the grammar) to make OP feel bad. I did it because she said she'd been applying for jobs, and that sort of grammar fail will leave her application in the bin. Basic and easily learned - NO excuse for using 'could of'.

I worked in a school and have had 8-9yo children saying 'could of' to me. I correct them every time. English is a beautiful and world-wide language, and it is EASY to learn and use - look at all the foreigners who can speak/write it better than some English born.

If you don't want to 'better' yourself, and don't want to use English in an intelligent way, then fine. Stay in ignorance. And stay jobless.Those using 'could of' are the ones who look like complete dicks!

Mookatron · 22/06/2018 14:06

The fact that people who recruit and work with volunteers are being so negative and rude speaks volumes.

Six months might not seem much to you but you wouldn't do your job for free for six months, would you?

An email saying 'thanks for your work' takes seconds and costs virtually nothing. You could even do a proforma one. You can even send it to the people who were crap because they did something for nothing to try to help you or your organisation and they might spread the word about how gracious you were.

It's just manners.

Lycanthropology · 22/06/2018 14:08

Yes, cider people less intelligent and educated than you are "dicks".
This is not your school, and correcting other adults is twattish. As I asked upthread, would you do this to a stranger in person?

Original poster
Metoodear · 22/06/2018 14:11

ciderhouserules

Thanks for your concern but as I said I never been out of work so your concern about me securing employment is in founded

I currently have a job thanks so I am not jobless as you put it

Worked since I was 15 I like volunteering and have done it on and off for the last 20 years job permitting

Sometimes I was working super part time so it allowed me to do it and sometimes it didn’t

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/06/2018 14:12

Cider Can you not see the difference between correcting a child in school and correcting a fellow adult on a chat forum?

I use plenty of slang on mumsnet; I wouldn't use it on my CV. My kids' texts are illiterate. However they have A levels in English and degrees and are perfectly capable of writing proper English if the situation requires it. Horses for courses.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/06/2018 14:38

I can't believe that someone is demanding to know if the OP gave a 'required' period of notice plus handover

I volunteer with a charity that works at festivals. If I'm leading and I just decide not to go I totally screw over a whole team of volunteers, and possibly make it thst the whole team gets sent home. If I'm team leading or doing general work and just don't turn up I screw up someone rota that they've spent hours on and I put extra strain in the rest of the team who pick up the slack. I'd also have people worried why I hadn't turned up.
On our gaining weekends if I'm delivering training or cooking or providing welfare, again just not turning up puts extra pressure on everyone else and everyone else is a volunteer too.

I may not be bound by the same contracts etc but I am bound by the same basic manners of being a decent human being and not screwing over people who rely on me.

Especially given how OP's opening line was about how very important her role was

zoobud · 22/06/2018 14:39

So many dicks on this thread. If you'd volunteered where I worked you would have got a thank you. Not unreasonable to expect thanks after giving your time and effort for free for six months.

Mookatron · 22/06/2018 14:45

Yeah, you should morally hand in your notice properly (can't see that OP didn't).

But instead of getting angry at people who don't, you should get angry at whatever circumstance it is that means the work you are doing has to be voluntary. Because often unpaid work is the first thing that has to go when your circumstances change in whatever way.

Myotherusernameisbest · 22/06/2018 14:50

YANBU. A simple thanks is the normal thing to do isn't when someone helps out?

AnonyMousee · 22/06/2018 15:03

i see where you are coming from, however you need to remember that people see things differently, like the others said, this is putting strain on the co-coordinator. you have to see from their side that its difficult enough getting volunteers and you have put them at a loss now.
personally, volunteering should be a thank-less job, just be proud of yourself for giving up your time for free for that long as that is amazing! but you shouldnt expect others to give their thanks for your volunteering

SleepingStandingUp · 22/06/2018 15:07

So OP simply because if you have notice then went it to volunteer for a few more days and everyone intended to not know vs have they even got the email yet, did you essentially work your notice?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/06/2018 16:25

I like volunteering and have done it on and off for the last 20 years job permitting

Good for you, Metoodear Flowers I've also spent many years both volunteering myself and bringing in others to do the same, and every single one - even if they just came along to "help on the day" - got a thank you. Whether it was a letter, a call, an email or just a text, nobody at all went without at least some thanks for what they'd done

Call me old fashioned, but to me that's just manners; it costs little or nothing and IME it makes for a much better atmosphere all round

Willow2017 · 22/06/2018 16:32

Love the thought that op has given her time and work for free for 6 months but she is in the wrong to stop volunteering and should be ashamed of herself for inconveniencing people so she can get more paid work!

Shame on you OP you should go without a new boiler and keep volunteering for free, you selfish person you.

ciderhouserules · 22/06/2018 16:44

Metoodear - I'm glad you have a job; I did notice that you had said that.

I wasn't correcting you in a 'superior' way; just that people/prospective employers DO notice if 'should of' is used, and yes, it does usually mean a lack of education. Education in this country is free, extensive and usually excellent. I despair when I see children who say 'I'm gunna be a footballa/singa, I don't need none of this gramma or maffs stuff'.

And anyway, it's easy to know when to use 'could of' and when to use 'could HAVE' - you never use could/should/would OF. It just doesn't exist. It is always going to be could/should/would HAVE.

If just one person learns this today, it's worth it. 'Every day is a school day' - I learned 'Vacillate' yesterday; today I learned the difference between 'Acute' and 'Chronic' pain. Both for my job. If I had an indifferent approach to learning (in school or otherwise) I'd be a lousy employee.

HTH

TheFirstMrsDV · 22/06/2018 16:51

if just one person learns this today, it's worth it

Oh do give over

WingsOnMyBoots · 22/06/2018 16:58

Oh dear....

ciderhouserules · 22/06/2018 17:00

Well you never know, MrsDVere, someone might be reading this and a lightbulb goes off. It might HAVE prompted someone to pick up a book and learn something.

Better than people just saying 'oh it's fine, grammar is for pedants, not the rest of us'. You want a decent job? You need to be able to speak and write your own language.