To wonder how the heck schools expect working parents to cope with this?

[Worriedaboutdog]

Apologies this may be a rant. DS1 is due to start school in September. We have therefore put childcare plans in place based on him starting school on the first day of term in September. School have just announced that:

a) reception start a week later
And
b) as a summer birthday, DS actually will do half days for another week after that, and ‘must be picked up at 1.30pm’.

No mention of either of these things was made when we looked round the school. We have already juggled the time off we have available to look after him over the summer. As it happens it’s probably easier for us than most parents as DH is a shift worker so can cover some days, but we were relying on him going to school at the beginning of September, and being in after-school club on days DH isn’t at home until I can get there to pick him up. Wtf are parents who both work Monday-Friday meant to do about two extra weeks?! This was all announced today in a meeting (I couldn’t go, because it was at 3.30pm, but DH did), and when he asked the class teacher if they had to go home at lunchtime or could stay and then go to after school club, she said they had to go home and we’d have to get ‘a grandparent or someone’ to pick them up. So we’ll just magic up a grandparent physically fit and willing enough to do a whole week of half days childcare, who is actually able to drive to the school, then.

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me. I think I probably am being unreasonable to be cross - I realise school is not designed to be childcare, and therefore not run for the convenience of the parents, BUT they must know that parents make assumptions (based on the information on their website!) about the dates of terms and the length of the school day, and make arrangements accordingly. And that this just isn’t feasible for everyone, and if they don’t bloody tell you about it until June then plans (and budgets) for September childcare are already in place! Argh.

yeah it's normal although ridiculous, inconvenient and unnecessary.

Nursery are usually prepared for it but rushing them between places in the middle of the day is a nightmare

I must live in a childcare black spot. No local childminders cover the school we're using and wouldn't take on a child for a few weeks anyway as they've got waiting lists. The nursery we use finishes on 31st August as the next load of preschoolers will move up the week after, I have asked and there isn't room for having my child in for whatever mornings/ afternoons are free because of the new intake.

Of course we'll sort it, it's our responsibility but it really isn't as easy as just finding childcare for everyone. We'll probably take some unpaid leave and I'll sell a kidney to pay for nursery fees

I gave up work when the children started school - because it turns out School is a lot less compatible with a career than full time nursery is.

Children get a lot of holidays/ days are shorter than the working day - even in secondary. They may have after school clubs which extend the day - but they can be cancelled at a moments notice. Teenagers get seemingly endless weeks of ‘study leave’ - my son would have been on the PS4 all the time in that time, if I wasn’t around to police him. (Even so I only had some success).

So when working mums wonder what SAHMs do all day once their kids are school age - it’s sonetimes the easiest option for family life - because school is not the same as private nursery.

I know fine I’ll get people going on about how that’s not an option for them. We have no family support, and my friends have their own responsibilities.

Surely this thread goes someway to explain why some SAHMs don’t go back to work once the kids are school age. It’s not that easy.

Nerr might be worth advertising to students. My sons and their friends have been looking for short hours, temporary and part time work before they go back to university and some don't go back until October.

we always had to pay someone from 3pm to 6pm and extra in school holidays to do after school collection once hte youngest did not need someone at home all day looking after them who then doubled up as the 3 - 6pm person.

It's interesting the way using annual leave for this is framed as simply a parental sacrifice and for the good of the child. As one poster upthread mentioned, there's no acknowledgment of the fact that annual leave used for this is annual leave not available to spend time with the child during school holidays. Just saying surely with your partner you can work out the leave for holidays between you makes you sound like you don't live on this planet Deirdre. Average annual leave allocation is what, 25 days a year? There are more generous employers than that but also meaner ones. That's 50 days a year for two full timers, and the school holidays alone are rather more than that, before we start factoring in staggering.

Now I expect someone will be along in a minute to say arrange childcare for the holidays then, and indeed this is what full time working parents often need to do anyway. But the point being, it's another day of childcare in the holidays instead of a day spent with parents. The child is losing that opportunity.

Telling people to sort it in their lunchbreak is also cloud cuckoo land. I actually work a considerable minority of my part time hours from home, but the office itself is 50 minutes away. This is not an unusually long commute. It simply would not be doable.

I hope the double FT working parents in this thread can see that not all of us who work part time, flexibly etc are so completely unable to see beyond the ends of our noses as some of you are.

Exactly. I am able to work from home and have flexible hours. It makes me very very lucky and I can't imagine sitting here smirking about how the people who work full time in offices should get their priorities sorted out otherwise they clearly don't love their kids enough or some such crap. I often help out my FT office working friends when they are in a pinch--it really makes you aware of the challenges that people face when schools just don't think about FT working parents' needs.

Maybe the teachers want to go home and see their own kids?

@HangersOn what at lunchtime?

Thank you @Xenia I'll take a look at that. We have our information evening tomorrow so after that I'll get together with friends to see what we can figure out.

Not that I think it's likely that teachers would be allowed to leave early, but presumably the majority of teachers children would be in school or college themselves anyway? What with school being from aged 4, most people going, staggered starts not being standard and more children being 4-18 than 0-4?

So I think we can rule that out as a realistic explanation.

Both of mine did 4 weeks of half days - a mixture of mornings and afternoons, not the same ones each week..... It was a pain in the arse but I understood why they did it. It is easier to get to know 15 kids each session than 30.

For goodness sake are people not allowed an opinion ? I do live on this planet and I choose to live on it as a SAHM who then started my own little business from home when my child was in year 1- so I might not have sacrificed annual leave days but I do know what priorities and sacrifices are- yes not an option for everyone to be able to work for themselves or part-time. We can’t cintrol the future but being a bit more organised does help you cope a bit with the usual obstacles in life I did not say that people who work dont love their children. I too have 0 outside help, the only relatives that live in the same country as myself and husband are his very elderly parents who live 4 hours away from us. Like many you do what suits your family life and fortunately for me we planned many years before having a child that I would (and wanted to) be a SAHM from own experienced benefits of having the same.
I had no idea about the way the school
Systems are here up until when we applied and personally I’m thankful that I am a SAHM because I have no idea how we would’ve done it with a husband who travelled not just nationally but internationally during the first few years. I am not smirking at OP situation nor do I think nursery school fees are cheap all I said was if they paid for it once and if childminding isn’t an option then going back via the nursery route would be the other option (if there is absolutely no family or friend help)I only know if this from people I’ve come across doing so for their children. The option Xenia came up with sounds good.

I have huge sympathy for the op and am amazed at the schools who think working parents can just magic the time they need, especially if it's more than a week.

I'm damn lucky that my local school takes a sensible approach and it's full time from day 1. None of my DC or other kids I saw struggled with it. They soon got used to full days. My school also offers morning and after school
Club to all pupils from reception and if the children do have days in nursery, they get to go to morning or after school club depending on what half day sessions they do(eg my DS went to afternoon sessions and stayed at after school club until 5.30pm from age 3. He was fine).

I have a friend who lives about 10 miles away who simply could not manage 4 weeks of short days and staggered start. So she ended up keeping her child in full time nursery for the sept and he started school full time from the Oct. It was her only option. The school were quite understanding if I recall and made a special effort when her DS did start. He was fine, now in yr 4 and all good.

Yes people are allowed an opinion Deirdre, and mine is that yours is ridiculous. Nothing you have said in your last post changes that, and actually your annual leave comment was pretty much you having your own facts, not just an opinion.

So in summary: telling people to be a bit more organised and use childminders as a solution to this problem is unhelpful and out of touch. It doesn't matter that you didn't say people don't love their children or that you have made sacrifices in life yourself: you're still clueless.

I also didn’t say that the OP must sort it out during her lunch break I only commented that I knew of someone a single working full time mother who collected her child by taking her own lunch time at 12:40 then at 1 or 1:30 to collect and drop her child at the nursery they had previously used. The person also asked her employer to allow her to work from home on a few afternoons. The person also asked her neighbour to look after her daughter on a few of those afternoons. Going back to annual leave and yes I get it that people want to use it in the school holidays and yes I’m aware of the amounts of days per year but sometimes you have to compromise if you don’t like the word sacrifice. Also if you’re able to take the afternoon off is this not quality time being spent with your child hearing about their morning at their new school or just being with them - those years never come round back and each time it’s different with a different child.

Thanks Princess yes whatever you say I’m clueless at least I know my priorities in my life works for me. No need to get so worked up over someone else’s issue in here.

I'm glad you agree you're clueless Deirdre. The latest on annual leave is another good example of that. Again, you fail to even consider the way in which the parent not having a day to use in the child's holidays means the child is sacrificing time with the parent. The autumn half term and Christmas and Easter of the reception year never come back either.

Meanwhile, you've made as many posts on this thread as I have, so you're not really one to be commenting about getting worked up. It's just that yours have been stupid.

Oh dear, please go and find someone else to argue with, you clearly don’t get sarcasm.
Goodbye.

But before I go “getting worked up” is In Response to your rude tone. Nothing wrong with giving more than one opinion it’s how you deliver it. Now goodbye!

Go and argue with someone else? But I thought you felt people had the right to opinions Deirdre! If you stop posting toss, I won't have anything to argue with you about. And really, your smug, arrogant attitude and insistence on commenting whilst obviously being completely ignorant of the reality is rude as fuck in itself.

I take it you’re really 21??

did not read the whole thread but in a nutshell, yes, schools are not considerate of working parents at all. Some children were in nurseries from 6 months old from 8am to 6pm, 5 days a week, a normal school day is a doodle compared to that, they should offer the option of progressive settling in for the children who stayed at home until reception if the parents are concerned. Is there any research showing it makes a difference anyway?

How many childminders out there will take children for a couple of weeks for half days? I don't know if any?

Mine did. She did the 2 weeks of 'staggered starts' for me. Half of the children were in the morning and half in the afternoon. She literally spent 2 weeks walking to and from school collecting and dropping off throughout the day. The school has always started reception with half days (at least from 1985 onwards when I went there!) so she is used to it.

@Mia1415 was it a childminder you was already using though? The ones locally to me have waiting lists for permanent mindees so wouldn't take on someone new for a couple of weeks as it's not beneficial to them.

We judged not because it was 8-6 as such, just that it was every day.

You'd have judged me then. My DS has been in FT childcare since he was 6 months old.

Why? Because as a single mum with no support, I needed to.

Would I have loved to go part time? Yes. Would the bills have been paid? No.