To wonder how the heck schools expect working parents to cope with this?

[Worriedaboutdog]

Apologies this may be a rant. DS1 is due to start school in September. We have therefore put childcare plans in place based on him starting school on the first day of term in September. School have just announced that:

a) reception start a week later
And
b) as a summer birthday, DS actually will do half days for another week after that, and ‘must be picked up at 1.30pm’.

No mention of either of these things was made when we looked round the school. We have already juggled the time off we have available to look after him over the summer. As it happens it’s probably easier for us than most parents as DH is a shift worker so can cover some days, but we were relying on him going to school at the beginning of September, and being in after-school club on days DH isn’t at home until I can get there to pick him up. Wtf are parents who both work Monday-Friday meant to do about two extra weeks?! This was all announced today in a meeting (I couldn’t go, because it was at 3.30pm, but DH did), and when he asked the class teacher if they had to go home at lunchtime or could stay and then go to after school club, she said they had to go home and we’d have to get ‘a grandparent or someone’ to pick them up. So we’ll just magic up a grandparent physically fit and willing enough to do a whole week of half days childcare, who is actually able to drive to the school, then.

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me. I think I probably am being unreasonable to be cross - I realise school is not designed to be childcare, and therefore not run for the convenience of the parents, BUT they must know that parents make assumptions (based on the information on their website!) about the dates of terms and the length of the school day, and make arrangements accordingly. And that this just isn’t feasible for everyone, and if they don’t bloody tell you about it until June then plans (and budgets) for September childcare are already in place! Argh.

This is really good, mine had to go for 6 weeks half days.
no nurseries or pre schools then neither.
Good job most of us were sahp's it would have been impossible otherwise.
we now have lots of childcare options, and of course annual leave.
The question of the OP, is immaterial as it isn't the job of school staff to consider what parents choose to do for childcare.

We had a similar nightmare. I found out it was half days on his first day when I handed over the packed lunch!
I wouldn't mind so much but I made an appointment to visit and went to both 'Introduction sessions' with ds- no mention!

I think some people need to rethink their priorities.
I used to work in a nursery and the parents who dropped off 8-6 every single day were judged, obviously we were nice as pie to the parents, but they were still judged.
One 'full timer' was even dropped off on Christmas Eve and then again the day after Boxing day!
You're supposed to fit around your child, not make them fit around your career.

I think some people need to rethink their priorities.
Did you equally judge the dads or just the mums?

I think it's terrible that parents work so their children have a home and food to eat. Are some people massively wealthy on this thread or have husbands on really high wages so they don't have to work? You must be aware that many of us aren't that privileged?

We had reduced hours and weird starting times until the end of October. Different schools can vary in terms of how they deal with working parents. This particular school was remarkably intolerant. They were very surprised when I suggested they should provide information to parents about afterschool clubs etc who might collect from the school.
I was glad when we moved on.
I may have done a small dance.

Well said NerrSnerr! How awful that some so called professionals sit in judgement of people who need to work to support their families. Even worse, the people they are judging are essentially the people who pay their wages so they can in turn support their own families. Very hypocritical indeed.

Nerrserr - you don't have to be massively wealthy to try and make work life fit in better with childcare issues. We all make life choices. You can't blame the school. I was a single mum and juggled like a demon to make it all work but make it work i did. This is not about the haves and the have nots.

Well op - it's for the good of your child. 30 kids all at once can be too over whelming for many children - some will not have been to big nurserys and the classroom is much smaller than big nursery sin most cases. It eases them in gently and many schools do mornings only, then after lunch, then all day. It's not about parents - it's about the kids.

@Lethaldrizzle I haven't once blamed the school. I have just recognised that it is difficult for working parents to juggle mornings and afternoons in a staggered start when they have to spread annual leave to cover school holidays, inset days, plays, sports day etc. It's really tough when you have no grandparents etc to help and telling someone who is trying to work to pay the bills to prioritise their children is really shit. I'll give up my job, doesn't matter that we'll lose the house as at least I'll be there for school.

I also did it without grandparents. Pay for child minders to fill in the gaps. Staggered starts, inset days, sports days - they are all part and parcel of the child rearing years. Yes it's tough but doesn't last for ever. But it's not the schools responsibility to fit in around you.

Where did I say it was the school's responsibility? I have not said that. I'm just saying it's not easy and finding out the end of June whether it'll be a staggered start like I will be makes it very difficult. No childminder in my village picks from the school I'm using as they serve the other one but I will sort it.

Of course we'll work it out as I am aware it's my responsibility but it's still ok to recognise that it could be easier for working parents if they gave more notice and didn't mix mornings sad afternoons etc.

This thread has been full of claims about how the practice is standard and it's good for the kids, but very low on evidence for either claim. So few of you have made any effort to back anything up.

FTR ours only does it for the first couple of days then it's up to parents, I work part time so can accommodate this, and we have hot and cold running family help anyway: the OPs problem is not one we face. But some of the things people are saying are ridiculous.

Sugarisamazing - why would you judge parents who used nursery for 8-6? That’s standard hours for nursery for working parents. We don’t have family living in the uk so needed a nursery setting for childcare.

At least one SAHP in the household, or a nearby grandparent, is very common where I live, I haven't heard any of these moans about staggered starts.

What folk moan about here is getting afternoon sessions during the staggered phase. "My child shouldn't do afternoons! Mornings is what they are used to & I despair about afternoons!" Heard that a lot.

I thought they were barmy when I was a SAHP. I loved afternoon starts. Potter round in morning to get everything sorted, drop kid off, then run errands, fetch kid from school. If I was lucky the baby would sleep while kid attended afternoon session. Bliss.

lljkk - I would have hated staggered starts! Especially with my eldest - he needed to be active by 9 am or would climb the walls. So we would have to be out by that time every day without fail (or it would be a bad day). But by midday he would begetting tired, and we could have some rest/restful time in the early afternoon - if I was lucky a little nap.
So an afternoon session would have meant - I still had to exercise him in the mornings, and they got a dopey child, unready to learn for the afternoon.

One local school used to take children on alternate days for the first couple of weeks - that would have confused me and made settling harder for my DC.

Sugarisamazing - why would you judge parents who used nursery for 8-6? That’s standard hours for nursery for working parents.
It's the official hours, but I certainly noticed that if I picked up at 5.55 because I had to finish something at work, my DC would be waiting in an empty room, with all their things ready to go, and one member of staff who'd usher is straight out. It was made very clear that they preferred the DCs to be gone by 5.30 ish, and very few other DCs were ever still there after 5.45.
I didn't love work more than my DCs, but needs to show a certain level of commitment (in a male dominated industry, where everyone else seemed to have someone else dealing with childcare arrangements...), and meetings often ran past 5.30pm.

My oldest child was in full time nursery before starting school, and struggled because nursery and school were completely different in terms of expectations of discipline.

I realise it is hard for some parents - but it seems you can ask for full time straight off if that’s what you need.

It is intended for the good of your child, as far as I can see. When my youngest started there was a Dad ranting about how he couldn’t accommodate the half days to pick up his son from school. It just sounded uncaring that he couldn’t put his child first for two weeks. The dad could certainly afford child care or unpaid leave - it was a private school and many parents are well off.

School is different to nursery/ child care, and their priority is your child - not your career. It’s just how it is. Maybe employers need to change their attitude.

We judged not because it was 8-6 as such, just that it was every day.
Most of the children did either mornings or afternoons. Some did full days for two, possibly three days and then a few others would attend all day everyday - they would have breakfast, lunch and tea at nursery, then would be collected, bathed, put to bed just to repeat the routine the next day.

Some parents even moaned that their child was not to sleep because they wouldn't go to bed at 7.30!

When my DS started school, it was 2 weeks of half days, 1week mornings, the other week afternoons, I took 2 weeks holiday from work. They also have training days usually once a term, and the obvious school holidays. Schools aren't childcare, so they don't have to operate as if they are.

Sugarisamazing - my DT’s went to full time 5 days a week nursery from age 6 months (maternity leave was 6 months then). It was normal for parents who worked full time - my friends DC’s were the same so nothing unusual about it.

God I think you should consider an alternative career.
Goads, judgemental twats aren’t usually the best fit for working with families

SugarIsAmazing

8-6 at nursery is a 9-5 at work for most people which isn't excessive hours. Unfortunately in many careers, part time isn't an option as the roles just don't exist and believe me, trying to obtain a role that you're over qualified for is next to impossible. I tried when I was made redundant when my DD was 1. There are 2 days at the weekend when I make the absolute most of the time with the kids and have to accept that weeks are mostly work and routine. I get it if parents are annoyed if their children are asleep at home time and won't be in bed on time. It's not because we don't want to spend time with them but that we can't throw the routine out because we still have to get them to bed, get everything ready for the next day, probably get the laptop out again and eventually (at about 10pm) eat something for the first time all day. This is just normal life for most people to enable them to pay the mortgage and the bills and be able to do things with the kids of a weekend. If we didn't do this, then only the very wealthy or the people that are funded by the state would be able to have children.

I just think if part time isn't available in your career do something else that fits round your children until such time as you can get back into your chosen field.
I'm qualified to work in nurseries and schools, and also zoos, veterinary practices, and anything animal related but there is almost nothing that isn't full time or local enough for it to fit around my children and my dogs so I work part time for minimum wage.
When my youngest starts senior school I will definitely look into full time animal related work.

"I just think if part time isn't available in your career do something else that fits round your children until such time as you can get back into your chosen field. "

What if you can't afford to work on minimum wage (because your partner is absent or earns little?)

What if your field isn't something you can just slide back into whenever you want to?

What if sacrificing huge amounts of money means you have to live in a worse area with a crap school? Or not have money for braces or tutoring or things your child might turn out to need? Or if it means your kids will leave university saddled with debt and never get any help with buying a house?

It's just not as simple as you are making out.

Re the comments upthread from the daycare worker: sadly, this is not the first time I've heard incredibly unkind, snarky and judgmental remarks from people who work in daycare. It worries me that there are people with these attitudes who look after children all day.

Dd1 had six weeks of half days. A few of us took it in turns to pick up and look after the children the rest of the time. We were lucky that a lot of us knew each other from preschool.

Ds only had 3 weeks I think, I paid a childminder to cover his half days as I wasn’t able to get time off.