To wonder how the heck schools expect working parents to cope with this?

[Worriedaboutdog]

Apologies this may be a rant. DS1 is due to start school in September. We have therefore put childcare plans in place based on him starting school on the first day of term in September. School have just announced that:

a) reception start a week later
And
b) as a summer birthday, DS actually will do half days for another week after that, and ‘must be picked up at 1.30pm’.

No mention of either of these things was made when we looked round the school. We have already juggled the time off we have available to look after him over the summer. As it happens it’s probably easier for us than most parents as DH is a shift worker so can cover some days, but we were relying on him going to school at the beginning of September, and being in after-school club on days DH isn’t at home until I can get there to pick him up. Wtf are parents who both work Monday-Friday meant to do about two extra weeks?! This was all announced today in a meeting (I couldn’t go, because it was at 3.30pm, but DH did), and when he asked the class teacher if they had to go home at lunchtime or could stay and then go to after school club, she said they had to go home and we’d have to get ‘a grandparent or someone’ to pick them up. So we’ll just magic up a grandparent physically fit and willing enough to do a whole week of half days childcare, who is actually able to drive to the school, then.

He can possibly go back to his current nursery for the week he isn’t in school at all, but the half days are stumping me. I think I probably am being unreasonable to be cross - I realise school is not designed to be childcare, and therefore not run for the convenience of the parents, BUT they must know that parents make assumptions (based on the information on their website!) about the dates of terms and the length of the school day, and make arrangements accordingly. And that this just isn’t feasible for everyone, and if they don’t bloody tell you about it until June then plans (and budgets) for September childcare are already in place! Argh.

I don't think people are judging working parents, but it's daft to have kids, both carrying on with ft careers and expect schools to solve your childcare problems.
You do what works for you as a family and sometimes you need to compromise and make sacrifices to put your children first.

Both parents working pt is a good compromise as neither parent has to give up their career. If you aren't prepared to do this for your kids, don't expect others who have to have much sympathy for you.

gillllyb - some careers don’t have the option of part time hours. We made it work by using a good nursery ( two of the staff became our baby sisters and one of the retired staff came with me to the US for three months as a nanny when I had to go over to work there).

School hasn’t been childcare but staggered school starts don’t work for all children and their parents. We sent our DC’s full time from day one as did many others in their classes. As they both achieved all A’s at GCSE and A levels I don’t think they have done too badly.

gillyb - we have always put our DC’s first and made compromises and sacrifices for their benefit. Working full time is for their benefit.

Primary schools have no consideration for working parents. They seem to assume we all have endless amounts of family members to do these early pick ups and so on.

I've had to use up my work holiday on the settle sessions and first week. None left for holiday or family time.

@gillybeanz what an incredibly silly comment

Why should anyone have to give up a portion or their complete career?

Just because we work FT doesn't mean we don't care for our children. It's not that we see school as childcare, but we do expect them to at least acknowledge that not all
Of our jobs are that flexible.

My DD is more than capable of starting school ft straight away and I hate that we can't do that.

MrsSnooty - you can legally send your DD full time from the start of term - you don’t have to accept the staggered starts - a huge waste of annual leave especially if you know your DD is ready for full time schooling.

Why should anyone have to give up a portion or their complete career?
If you haven't got a flexible job and school start is staggered, then of course it's better for the child for a parent to be pt
If you have suitable childcare then that's fine, but you can't expect schools to cater for individuals that don't have flexible jobs.
It's bloody entitled.

OP, my friend a sp has no family for support and can't afford childcare, child never been to pre school/nursery.
The HT allowed them to start ft straight away, another woman I knew a few years back was helped to find suitable cc to fit in with the staggered start.
If you are really stuck, they will try to help you.

gillyb - the school start is only staggered if you want it to be. The school don’t have a choice if you decide to start your DC’s full time from the start of time. You don’t need a flexible or part time career to deal with the start of term.

If you both work and in the past you could afford to send your child to a nursery full time then you should be able to afford to pay a child minder (as someone suggested) for the days that you or your partner/husband can’t collect your child. Consider your child’s transition into this new environment irrespective of whether they’re used to full days at nursery. School is a very different and more structured environment and the teachers are only doing what is best for the child physically and mentally. Always try to see things from a child’s perspective if you can. Children start school at such an early age in the UK at least allow them to settle in and be happy. Not saying that it will happen but You won’t like it if you’re having to deal with an upset child off and on later on after full time school hours begin, for whatever reason. I’ve seen children in Year 1 upset to leave their parents for whatever reason on a weekly basis and not just one child -quite a few. Not saying OP, but in general it seems that everyone is always trying to rush their children off to get on with their lives. Yes, work is important but so is a child’s well-being. If you want to be at your workplaces without worrying about having to collect your child at the different hours then find a child minder, use some of your leave for hours off or that parental leave some speak of. There are plenty of SAHM who also have no outside family help and have full time working partners and have to deal with the staggered times. SAHM doesn’t mean loads of time on your hands doing nothing. Some people even when they’re sick and have no one to rely on also have to get on with having to look after their children’s d get them to and from school. It’s not as though you’ve been told a week before the school started that it would not be full days from the start.
I hope you sort out the situation for both your child and your best interests.

parker
So why are people going on about not having flexible jobs if their dc can go ft anyway.
Surely, they would have care organised if need be for pick up time.
What's the OP about then?
I'm confused.

'Working full time is for their benefit' - having worked both full time and part time, I sure as hell know if my kids could choose, they'd rather I work part time.

@Parker231 really? That's great to know.

She's more than ready and it's fine and it's such a waste of leave which could be used doing things with her at other points of the year.

At our school the reception & nursery teachers are out doing home visits for the first week and a bit so if a child was to start full time at the start of term i don't really know where they'd put them. Ours do one half day then full school hours so the start isn't really staggered or slowly building up. Schools aren't great at taking into account working parents but then again it's not childcare. A great childminder who knows the school is our saviour - couldn't manage without her. Good luck

OP didn't appear to be aware that she could send her child FT from the start before the thread gilly.

Meanwhile, it's a good thing there are all these otherwise underused childminders, with ample space for every phased starter, at three months notice. And not at all disruptive for a child who's been in nursery FT.

Thank God DDs school didn't engage with this. Straight on the first day and no messing.

I am bemused that in an attempt to make it easier for the child to cope with the new environment of school, the go to solution for working parents seems to be to stock them with a child minder....

So, two new environments then. That's obviously better for the child than straight into full time school.

The reality is that a lot of children will be moving to school from full time nursery and that figure is going to rise under universal credit, now that parents are expected to be working full time once the child is three.

How many childminders out there will take children for a couple of weeks for half days? I don't know if any?

My DD had 4 weeks of half days and whilst it wasn't an issue as I was on mat leave (planned partly for this reason) when my DS starts in 2019 I will be making sure xp and I cover it with leave and flexi time even if we have to take some unpaid. I don't see it as a nuisance or a waste of leave at all. My DD really appreciated the staggered start and an opportunity to talk to me about her day, her new friends and the school routine while having some down time in the afternoon. I want DS to have this too. I am lucky enough to be able to work p/t and I feel for parents that can't do this but if you can be there to support your child's transition it is worth it imo.

Both went to nursery 3 days a week from the age of 1 but it doesn't really compare. It's a very different environment.

If you haven't got a flexible job and school start is staggered, then of course it's better for the child for a parent to be pt.

It isn’t in a child’s best interest for a parent to change career to cover 2-6 weeks of childcare. That would be crazy.

But it should be acknowledged that childcare during that time is difficult to arrange due to it being term time, so normal holiday options aren’t there and 3 months’ notice isn’t sufficient.

If you both work and in the past you could afford to send your child to a nursery full time then you should be able to afford to pay a child minder (as someone suggested) for the days that you or your partner/husband can’t collect your child.

The supply of child minders does not temporarily and miraculously increase for just a few weeks at the start of September, and child minders have ratios which they are legally obliged to limit themselves to. There are no extra temporary places in a lot of areas.

If the long-term plan is for a child to go to an after school club that starts at 3.15 or whatever, then it is more disruptive for the child to switch from nursery to spending a few weeks at the child minder and then switching again to the after school club, rather than just going straight to after school club which would involve only one readjustment.

Agree with you Super Mum Tum.

Well Kokeshi if the child minder thing is not possible for OP then she has to try the sending child back to the nursery school for whichever hours she needs help with. I know a mum who works full time and who was able to do this and used her lunch break to collect her child and take to the nursery on days she couldn’t have the child from 12:30 or 1:30.
When I was pregnant some people around me were already choosing nursery schools before their child was born you’d think that these people who knew they’re going to be going back to work would have plans in place ahead of time. Yes, OP only found out through her husband about the staggered times but she still found out months in advance. Imagine if this was only known to her 1 week in advance. Also, in Reception year I don’t think they had/have after school activities at the school - I could be wrong, I just remember some people complaining that it is only from Year1 that there were school clubs after 3:15pm. I don’t think it is disruptive for a child who probably saw different carers in a nursery environment for so many years/days of their life before starting school and whose parents think they’re ready to be in another different environment with much more different faces not only of the teachers but the many other children in the school, especially since the child is older now and should/would understand if explained to properly in an assuring way that it is only “just for now” on the days the parents can’t collect him/her.

OP you should also look ahead at the school calendar from September so that you are aware of upcoming dates such as inset days and Stay and Play dates that are told to parents in the weekly newsletters but if you want to have childcare sorted out on inset days or be able to attend the stay and learn hour(s) at least you will know about it and not feel as if the school has dumped it on you a week before. Stay and learn might not be already planned but at my child’s school we did have reasonably enough notice period. Also, they seemed to do a few of these sessions in Reception which children love to have one or both parents (if possible) at.

Also, OP shouldn’t be so against taking her leave as this is for her child and it only over a few weeks. Yes she doesn’t want to not have mileage for holidays but surely with her partner/husband they can work out the leave used between them. It’s is unfortunate but some things have to be sacrificed when you both work. Once this time passes it will be full time school hours.

Mine were the same. The real joy was having one start year one normally, on full days and then one starting reception several days later and doing alternate mornings and afternoons.

I know friends who took them back to nursery in their lunch hour.

We used a childminder so she helped sometimes too.

It's so annoying because I wanted to use my leave spending time with him before school started but just wasn't possible.

I have to say though, and being friends with one of the reception teachers, that that whole year settled really well. I've never really seen any kids crying in the morning. Two years earlier, my other ds did two half days and straight in. There were several children who used to be beside themselves in the mornings which went on for ages - so I can see why they changed it and the benefits. So hard for parents though (but most of school stuff is).

Not “mileage” meant to type “leave”