To hate own clothes day at school?

[purplelass]

It just gets so competitive and clearly differentiates the haves from the have nots... can't I just donate double and DD can wear uniform?

It is a weird way of describing teens. Maybe it's the intensely animalistic imagery or something, or the ambiguity of the word 'their'... It sounds like you're describing some kind of bloodthirsty mob with a hive mind; odd way to write bullies in general, but for "kids" as a whole is very strange.

It isn't when you been on the receiving end of it. It is the truth. I hope you never experience it yourself.

It sounds like the introduction to a romcom based in a high school.

Believe me my school life was anything but enjoyable.

It isn't when you been on the receiving end of it. It is the truth. I hope you never experience it yourself.

You sound like you've been very impacted by an ordeal - but bullies are often not quite as simple as they just enjoy others pain. When you'reach talking about "kids" in general the description becomes very worrying. They're not a collective group that all think the same, nor do they only have one objective which is to look for weakness and exploit it! Obviously there are some children who are bullies, but kids as a whole don't naturally exhibit that sort of behaviour.

Regardless - onto the point of the thread - if there is a child who does exhibit that sort of behaviour, there is no way a school environment can remove possible weaknesses to exploit. Even if somehow a school could, how would children with these bullying tendencies behave outside of school, where these restrictions are not applied?

Own clothes cannot stop bullying.

• start bullying, sorry. Looks like I need a morning cup of tea

Ours have got to wear sportswear all next week. My two DCs are the least sporty children ever so I'm really struggling to think of what to put them in for a week!

Leggings or shorts and trainers?

Mine doesn't have any sportwear either, except school sports uniform. He only does outdoor activities with Scouts, no sports. They expect you to have enough for a week?

Leggings or shorts and trainers?
Mine only has cargo shorts. Wouldn't call that sportwear.

I think sailors and climbers wear cargo shorts

Mine don't own trainers. Think it'll just be shorts, t shirts and sandals for the week. Not exactly sporty but it's the best I can do. Although DS1 has baseball boots but doesn't like wearing them because he can't do the laces up yet.

Trainers are really good for kids to just run around in. They don't have to be into sport and are really cheap

I think sailors and climbers wear cargo shorts
You're right, but then 'sportswear' could be anything. Could send a child in hiking boots, or dressed in jeans and gamer t shirt (mind sports).

In a country where schools are obsessed with telling children what to wear, it's hardly surprising that anything involving clothing such as non uniform day is going to cause problems - children pick up all kinds of weird messages thanks to the adults around them fetishising blazers and endowing them with all kinds of magical powers such as alleviating poverty and eradicating bullying. It's fucked up.

If people genuinely can’t see that kids not having the “right” or “in” clothes could cause problems with bullying I think they’re living in a bubble.

No uniform doesn’t eradicate bullying. But let’s not pretend that a non uniform day is always an equal playing field and that it doesn’t have many pitfalls for kids who don’t “fit” already,

I went to a non - uniform school. Competitiveness about clothes every single day. Not having at least 4-5 branded pairs of trainers and £100 jeans, and you were bullied (my parents didn’t have that kind of money - I was bullied every single day for my sensible shoes and unbranded clothes). School uniform is awesome

You sound like you've been very impacted by an ordeal - but bullies are often not quite as simple as they just enjoy others pain. When you'reach talking about "kids" in general the description becomes very worrying. They're not a collective group that all think the same, nor do they only have one objective which is to look for weakness and exploit it! Obviously there are some children who are bullies, but kids as a whole don't naturally exhibit that sort of behaviour.

My view on this was that all those kids who saw me being hit, hurt, shouted at, including the time a girl who kept my head under the water on a visit to the seaside while the teacher was busy elsewhere; they did f* all about it. Just stood there and did nothing. To me, they are just as bad as the bullies.

Regardless - onto the point of the thread - if there is a child who does exhibit that sort of behaviour, there is no way a school environment can remove possible weaknesses to exploit. Even if somehow a school could, how would children with these bullying tendencies behave outside of school, where these restrictions are not applied?

A school can have a strong anti bullying culture and philosophy. It would never eradicate it but it would help.

I hope you got your cup of tea

I've never owned a pair of branded trainers. Its pretty hard to bully a kid who doesn't give a fuck about things like that. Teach your kids some resilience.

Agree that anti bullying strategies are necessary. This is not achieved by telling everyone to wear blazers.

Even with the best will in the world though some children will be more resilient than others, and the bullies will soon figure which are those people who aren’t as resilient.

I think my dd school must be the exception to the rule tbh.
They have no uniform and I thought it would be bad for several reasons but we've seen no problem at all.
There are multi millionaires and benefit claimanta and all incomes in between.
The kids just wear jeans, t shirts, hoodies etc. These are pretty generic whatever the label.
I asked dd about any competition or peer pressure for designer laabels and she said there isn't.
I was particularly concerned the girls would take ages bothering about their appearance and what they were wearing each morning.
They have seen little difference apart from obviously nobody being pulled up for not wearing uniform.
I heard that the girls school association reported that more schools were opting out of a uniforrm.

This just brings back hideous memories for me and even now when DD has a Mufti day at school I feel clenchy about it. She on the other hand isn't bothered and just wears leggings, a t shirt and scarf most of the time and no one bats an eyelid. She's not fussed with brands but i do try and buy her something that's "of the moment" from Primark or similar so she has something in the current fashion but she's not fussed on ripped jeans or crop tops etc.

My mum would sometimes let me have the day off if a Mufti day and I couldn't face it.

A school can have a strong anti bullying culture and philosophy. It would never eradicate it but it would help.

Well, yes, agreed.

I just don't think that can be achieved by banning own clothes. Are you going to start banning test scores? Make everyone wear the same shoes? Will they be forbidden from talking about their hobbies or plans for the weekend? And then comes the obvious; what about the overweight kids or kids with acne or kids that aren't really conventionally attractive?

You can't really ban own clothes days and expect that to stop bullying. It implies that you can change a bully's mindset by depriving them of things to use. You can't, they will still enjoy hurting others - and honestly you can't ban everything. Even if you managed to, bullies could exclude or physically attack others, they wouldn't need a "reason" as such.

And I'd hate to see how they react on weekends when none of the rules are in place!

YA neither BU , nor N U - if you hate it, then you hate it,

but I don't. I think it is a great, easy money maker, and most dc love it.
None of mine have ever had 'named' brands or designer clothes. They have never had any issues with anyone saying anything about their clothes. A lot of that sort of thing is down to confidence / self esteems though - my dc wouldn't value the opinion of someone who thinks it 'matters' somehow if a particular designer has scribble their name over you sweatshirt, even if someone were ever to say anything - it says more about the critic than the wearer

I had to Google mufti day

I went to a non - uniform school. Competitiveness about clothes every single day. Not having at least 4-5 branded pairs of trainers and £100 jeans, and you were bullied (my parents didn’t have that kind of money - I was bullied every single day for my sensible shoes and unbranded clothes). School uniform is awesome

I went to a school with uniforms. You were bullied for having the wrong kind of jumper, not pulling your skirt up high enough, the wrong shape skirt, the wrong legwarmers, the wrong shoes, the wrong bag, the wrong coat.

Thank god we didn't have blazers.

Mind you, at my school you were also bullied for having ginger hair, freckles, glasses, high test scores, parents who had enough money to own a car, having to go home before 10pm, running funny, laughing funny, being called Helen.

The list was endless.