To hate own clothes day at school?

[purplelass]

It just gets so competitive and clearly differentiates the haves from the have nots... can't I just donate double and DD can wear uniform?

People who are so against uniforms should read this thread - it really not as great as they think it is

People who are against uniform usually have experience of a non-uniform school and know it's a) cheaper to not have to buy two lots of clothes (school and home) and b) all the competitiveness that happens on mufti days doesn't happen when you all wear jeans and hoodies everyday.

Here's another reason fornot having school uniforms at secondary: the sexualisation of girls in school uniform. The local school with uniform the girls all wear bum skimming skirts to rebel (and all the creepy old men love it). They get to 6th form, they start living in jeans and hoodies.

@TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon I still don't really understand your point. At my school (firmly in ultra branded, TOWIE territory) we have a plain black bag and plain leather shoe rule. How is it obvious from their uniform how wealthy they are in this case?

@CountFosco - yes.

I still don't really understand your point. At my school (firmly in ultra branded, TOWIE territory) we have a plain black bag and plain leather shoe rule. How is it obvious from their uniform how wealthy they are in this case?

Lots of schools don't have this rule. Even so, you can get a black bag from Primark or from Michael Kors, which I gather is quite popular with teens at the moment.

And kids aren't stupid. After some time they know who's on free school meals, who lives where, who gets discounts on their music lessons, who went to private school etc. etc. They see each other every day, it's inevitable that they'll eventually get a rough idea.

I'm lucky enough to be comfortable financially but if I wasn't, I'd rather go to Primark and get my DC clothes from there - and honestly I think Primark is very popular, it does nice clothes - than fork out for the ridiculously expensive uniform.

@rosesandflowers1 I think you're right regarding students getting a rough idea but surely that's better than some students flaunting their wealth on a daily basis?

This is why we enforce our plain black/ no logo rule: before we had it we had an awful problem with kids bringing Moncler coats to school, costing £1000 or more.

You say that you'd rather shop in primary for your children, regardless of your financial situation but what happens when they are 15/16 and they want Michael Kors not Primark? Are you going to say no, even though it's within your budget?

There's only a problem because it's so unusual. If everyone wore non u inform every day the novelty woukd soon wear off and everyone would just wear jeans and t shirts or whatever.

Anyone in dirty clothes would surely also have dirty tatty uniform? Probably nore so given the items are several times the prices for one than a pack of 2 or 3 would cost in the supermarket. Don't tell me you couldn't get multiple vest tops in next on the But 2 get third free for the price of one 35 pound blazer.

Dds secondary has a 17 pound skirt. That's 3 pairs of her leggings i could get for that...

It's lovely to see the kids at dds primary finally run around free. No collars annoying them. No stupid ties. And no bunched up school trousers where the adjustable waist has had to be pulled in to the max and they still are hanging on the hips being pulled up every thirty seconds

We have everything from.primark to next to Boden at dds school no one cares.

Bullies are bullies they bully. If you think uniform.changes that then you are severely mistaken .

How far are people really prepared to go to remove opportunities to bully befire actually dealing with it.

If you ask me uniform is just a way to make sure kids don't apply for your school cos they can't afford to buy the uniform. You lose the levelled argument when one skirt costs 17 pound and sends them in in an outfit sold in a sex shop.

Kids need to be taught to deal with differences which they can't do if these differences are hidden as shameful.

And why do you assume kids flaunt their wealth. Sourcing well made comfortable nice fitting item that happens to be a brand doesn't mean you are flaunting it. .not rich but I'd rather pay for something that lasts and I can hand down to dd2.

teachersvoice because children talk! They will know where they live, where they've been on holiday etc. They will know what activities they do, their haircut, their phone, their coat etc. They will meet up outside of school and see. The children who brag about their branded clothes will still brag about them even if they are not wearing them! There will be children who get a brand new expensive plain black bag every week and children who have one plain black Primark bag to last them all 5 years. There will be children in expensive brand new black leather shoes all the time and children in plain black shoes again from Primark/tesco that last them all year. They will wear watches and jewellery, whether secretly or not. Expensive pens, pencil cases, notebooks etc. Uniform might not be replaced as often etc. It is very difficult to hide even with a very strict uniform policy.
And even then they will still know where they live and what they wear on weekends!

I find it sad that some primary school kids care so much tbh. All I’ve ever heard from my DC is that the teachers or other pupils complimented them on their pretty dresses. Never heard anything negative at all. I can understand it being an issue at secondary school though for sure.

My dc love it but probably because they do have nice stuff and don't really get to wear it much. They're in uniform all day, home and into comfy joggers etc. Mine ask for the designer clothes for birthdays and xmas. It does last longer than their stuff from Primark etc to be honest.

My DDs love NUDs, this is because they've always enjoyed choosing what to wear. By contrast, I hate them as they spend far too long deciding what to wear and we invariably end up running late. It's so much easier when they have to wear their uniforms.

This thread has made me really sad, to hear the things that children face and also teachers.

DD is starting in August and they’ve asked that if children cannot tie their own laces that they’re sent with alternative shoes to avoid the teacher spending valuable time tying laces.

thedish I get where you were coming from, you weren’t labelling all poor children, you were referring to the ones who will always look uncared for irrespective of what they are wearing.

I confess to bowing to the pressure and always buying a new outfit for NUD. Stupid? Probably. Indulgent? Definitely. But having been “that kid” at school who never had the right stuff, always looked a bit scruffy and smelly and the enduring memories of the bullying because of it, I have a real issue with it.

I don’t buy designer stuff or anything, just smart and new.

The uniform at my local state school is about £200 all in for the special skirt/trousers, special shirts, blazer, pe kit, jumpers etc. That's an awful lot of clothes that could be bought from Primark/tesco at that price. The really poor children were told to prioritise uniform over home clothes and therefore to wear uniform at weekends.
A really poor family don't be able to afford many home clothes when they have to spend that much on uniform and so the child will stand out at the weekend when they are still in the same shoes they wore all week etc.

Most children don't brag about labels, but the type of child who does will still brag about them when they are not wearing them. They will brag about the type of car their parents have, their size of house, their holidays etc. A braggy child is a just a braggy child whatever they are wearing, and I normally find the type of person who brags a lot also probably lies a lot too, or exaggerates.

My dc attend schools with no uniforms. There are some simple rules - no offensive slogans - shorts and skirts no shorter than mid thigh and no high heels.

As it is not a novelty the kids wear very relaxed clothes. Jeans, converse style shoes or trainers and T-shirts for girls and boys.

Never seen a girl with fake tan or her knickers showing.

When it is not a novelty the competition is removed.

They attend a private international school and even with some rather wealthy kids in their classes the kids still take a very low key relaxed approach to school clothes.

I hated this when I was at school. We had no money and I only had once decent set of out of school clothes. I wore the same thing to every non uniform day. I remember a so-called friend of mine saying the day before that they all knew what I was going to wear already. I was humiliated before I'd even put the clothes on.

My DCs are fortunately not in the same financial position as I was but I'm still not a fan. The kids like me will still dread those days. I wish they'd find better ways of fundraising.

I agree with you op. Dd hated them too at secondary school. It allowed the class bully to give a running comentary on everyone's outfit, declaring who was and who wasn't fashionably acceptable.

You know the “popular kids”, the ones who pick on everyone else and dictate what is “in”? Who decides they’re popular? Or that they’re right?

People who are against uniform usually have experience of a non-uniform school and know it's a) cheaper to not have to buy two lots of clothes (school and home) and b) all the competitiveness that happens on mufti days doesn't happen when you all wear jeans and hoodies everyday.

My kids all wear school uniforms, and all have "home" clothes, and it would cost me a lot more to buy only non-uniform, and you can get away with only a couple of uniform shoes, and a couple of "home shoes", just footwear would be a fortune otherwise.

You are completely wrong about the competitiveness! Kids who are wearing the "wrong" clothes are immediately cast aside because they don't belong, and they stick out like sore thumb. Clothes too new, wrong label and the fact that they don't keep up whilst others get the "must have" item every month.

You can buy second hand uniforms, and no ones gives a damn if you are wearing hand-me down, it's so much cheaper and easier for the parents.

I've never found there to be competition in what they wear, but there is always a child in uniform which is awful and for kids like most of mine it's unnecessarily stressful. Aspergers means the uniform is safe and they know what's expected, the stress of worrying over what to wear is distressing and time consuming. They would prefer to just wear uniform but when everyone else is not that's equally stressful!

I’ve just reread and seen £1k for a coat??? What the hell is it made of, angel’s wings????

You say that you'd rather shop in primark for your children, regardless of your financial situation but what happens when they are 15/16 and they want Michael Kors not Primark? Are you going to say no, even though it's within your budget?

DD is 16, DS is 14.

DD loves fashion but more likes things for what they look like, rather than the brand, if that makes sense. She has expensive clothes and shoes and things, but not because they're expensive, because she likes them.

DD's school bag is from Primark It's lovely - she's got lots of compliments on it. IME it's not actually high-income families that always have the expensive branded accessories.

They all wear uniform but generally if we're going clothes shopping the price won't matter too much if they like it - within reason of course. I don't think I'd pay £1000 for a coat that they were taking to school - it would get lost in a week knowing them!

I think by secondary school age they'd definitely connect that someone rich will be able to have expensive stuff. If they've been to Lauren's house, and they know she went to private school, and they've seen her dad's car etc. etc. I daresay they will work out, whether or not she's allowed to bring it in, that she could afford and probably has designer clothes.

It's sad, I guess, but it's how the world works unfortunately. I think there comes a certain age when we need to stop "protecting" our kids from inequality - when it's something they can see anyway - and teach them how to act in the face of it.

I used to dread own clothes day when I was at school. We didn't have much money and my clothes were quite trampy tbh. I remember once pretending I had a headache so I didn't have to go in

I work in a secondary school and this is exactly the reason I persuaded the Head to do away with NUD. You could put money on which kids would be absent and it was often the kids who most needed the routine, structure and support of school due to their home situation. There are plenty of other ways of fundraising that don't single out disadvantaged students and make them feel shit.

@SoddingUnicorns https://www.moncler.com/gb/[grin]

The coats aren't even that nice!

I bring up my kids not to be in to brands and bling and to find their own individual style not dependant on wealth