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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Virgin Trains. Pregnant. No seats.

262 replies

MindTheGap6 · 21/06/2018 09:09

Starting a whole new thread on this one!

Missed my train this morning due to delays. Got on the next train to London. Virgin train. No seats, 5 months pregnant, painful joints, very unsteady and uncomfortable. All seats booked apart from first class. Found conductor to see if he could find me a seat as I'm pregnant and unsteady. Was told no to sitting in a practically empty first class, and that I should get off the train and get a less busy one if I want a seat. Three members of staff currently on duty sat in first class (fine, but would've expected them to at least help me find a seat). Wasn't told about priority seats. Had to wait until a very kind woman spotted me and loudly said that she couldn't believe nobody allowed me to sit and that people should be ashamed (this is after I nearly fell over trying to pull my terribly uncomfortable maternity jeans up!). Originally had a seat booked but connection was delayed so missed it (whole other story!). Feeling frustrated and stupid.

AIBU to think that this is pretty poor form? Or do I need to suck it up and get on with it as 'being pregnant isn't an illness' as I've heard many times before on MN (prepared for that)

OP posts:
ToadOfSadness · 21/06/2018 09:46

Maybe don't wear uncomfortable jeans, they are clearly not helping your bad day.

This is just one day out of your life, it will pass, remind yourself that it will be over soon and you can return to your nice home. Think of those people who have no job, no money to buy a train ticket and no nice home never mind a seat on a train that they didn't get because they were in the wrong place when the first train arrived.

JacquesHammer · 21/06/2018 09:46

If you've paid a fortune for a seat you should get one

The problem is if you’ve paid for 1st class you’ve paid a bigger fortune. If as standard they allowed various groups to sit in 1st class for free it would be hard to justify.

givemesteel · 21/06/2018 09:48

It's a shame you ended up on a busy trains due to delays etc. At 5 months pregnant I assume you would have been OK to sit on the floor? Not ideal I appreciate but it's not like you are really heavily pregnant.

I think it is more awkward to expect people to give up seats they've booked for a long journey than if it's a short commuter train etc.

I assume the first class and pregnancy policy is discretionary as they don't want every pregnant woman to think they're entitled to a free upgrade.

Did you ask discreetly and politely?

LittleLionMansMummy · 21/06/2018 09:48

However when I found a conductor - intending to ask if there were free seats up the end of the train he was coming from - he immediately turned me around and escorted me to first class.

Yes, this is what happened to me too on Great Northern. The conductor saw my bump (I was 7 months) and said "we have a policy that pregnant women without a seat can sit in first class, please go and make use of it". I could have kissed him.

letsallhaveanap · 21/06/2018 09:48

jacqueshammer yes but why is that the customers fault and not the train companies? They should not oversell trains... or they should make sure there are enough seats! Why should a pregnant woman be held accountable for keeping people whove paid to sit in first class happy?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/06/2018 09:49

ToadOfSadness have you been to OPs house?!

Queenofthestress · 21/06/2018 09:49

@elephantscanring at 5 months with my first I had severe sciatica, and at 5 months with my second I felt like I was half dead all the time. Have a bit of bloody compassion and read the other thread considering you know, op has spd

lissie123 · 21/06/2018 09:49

I would complain. Contact Virgin trains on Twitter.

MargaretCavendish · 21/06/2018 09:49

letting even a dozen pregnant women on a packed train sit in empty first class seats isn't going to cause chaos. And frankly allowing elderly and disabled to do the same wouldn't be the end of the world - if they need seats and there are none in standard.

I'm on OP's side here, but I don't think opening first-class to all pregnant, elderly and disabled passengers is viable, really - it's normally a pretty small proportion of the train. I actually think it's a fairly ridiculous use of space to have it at all, particularly on journeys of less than about an hour, but presumably the train companies find it profitable.

Original poster
MindTheGap6 · 21/06/2018 09:49

Can I just state that the first thing I asked was for them to help me find a seat at which point they told me no or to get a different train. I then asked if I could 'sit in one of these seats as they're empty' and they said no. I thought I said 'fair enough' in my OP and that it would've been nice for them to help me find an unreserved or priority seat elsewhere?

Also to pp who told me I'm only 5 months pregnant, I have SPD and problems with my blood pressure. To the extent that I'm having weekly appointments to monitor it. Some people aren't well right from the start.

OP posts:
tenbob · 21/06/2018 09:50

It's shit
I thought most/all train companies let pregnant women have a first class seat if they needed one

Definitely worth a complaint and name/shame the unhelpful member of staff

AJPTaylor · 21/06/2018 09:51

i think if you missed a connection due to rail delays and therefore could not use the seat you booked, seating you in first class is totally sensible.

letsallhaveanap · 21/06/2018 09:51

and yes I agree with PP ive been moved to first class several times as I was sitting on the floor on a long journey and I wasnt even pregnant any of these times!! Its really just that the OP has been unlucky to encounter bad staff... because many train guards would not hesitate to put a pregnant woman in first class who was standing or sitting on the floor.... so id really write and complain and id be very very surprised if you did not get a refund

catinasplashofsunshine · 21/06/2018 09:51

TitsalinaBumsquat what utter, utter prats those men were.

What kind of twisted, bitter self esteem issues to people have which mean they only value things which cost a lot of money? How on earth did you paying 40 pounds improve their journey unless they have some kind of personality disorder. The fact 3 out of 4 first class passengers wanted you booted out of an otherwise empty seat because they'd paid more than you is a sad reflection on society and the kind of people who use first class!

I'd agree that's the best argument I've ever heard for getting rid of first class! And I write that as someone who has a first class train ticket booked for next month!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/06/2018 09:53

I feel for you OP SPD is agony! Honestly social media shame virgin...emailing or writing to their head office won’t do anything, they need public shaming

NotTakenUsername · 21/06/2018 09:53

It sounds like for you op, pregnancy is an illness and that you shouldn’t be going to work at all, much less trying to negotiate an early morning rush hour commute.

Maybe you are trying to do too much and you need to slow down?

obviousNC101 · 21/06/2018 09:54

Thing is, its not really anyone else's problem that you are pregnant - your body, your choice. They booked their seats and shouldn't have to move based on your life choices. Same goes for the conductors - their job isn't to spend the entire journey looking for a seat for you based on your life choices.

If you want a guaranteed seat, you need to book one or pay to upgrade. Simple. Sorry.

Original poster
MindTheGap6 · 21/06/2018 09:54

@NotTakenUsername I can't just take 5 months unpaid off work unfortunately. As nice as that would be!

OP posts:
drspouse · 21/06/2018 09:55

We are well off and have rowdy children who were previously rowdy toddlers. We sat in first class, having paid (Advance tickets). I bet the snooty businessmen who didn't like the look of us there (and the daft woman who thought that sitting next to me plus one year old on lap was a great place to paint her nails!) would have happily said we were NOT the sort of people they wanted in first class.
But it is NONE of their business whether we are there. If we've paid or otherwise have a pass to be there we are allowed to be there.

catinasplashofsunshine · 21/06/2018 09:56

obvious the OP wasn't asking anyone to move. There were empty seats in first class.

NotTakenUsername · 21/06/2018 09:57

Well no, you would be signed off on statutory sickness and then move across to early maternity leave.

KatherinaMinola · 21/06/2018 09:57

There are some idiots on this thread.

It's happened to me too (at 8 months). I just sat in first class and when ticket was inspected I explained politely and firmly that I had a standard class ticket but there were no seats in standard class. Ticket inspector said "Fair enough" and moved on - as any reasonable person would.

tenbob · 21/06/2018 09:57

obviousNC

But you're wrong. Because Virgin have a stated policy on their website that they'll help find a seat for a pregnant woman

And justifying denying a pregnant woman a bit of assistance 'because it's her life choice' makes you sound like a psychopath btw

Frosty66612 · 21/06/2018 09:58

@nottaken not everyone can afford to live off statutory sick pay!

KatherinaMinola · 21/06/2018 09:58

And in fact on another occasion I was moved to first class (when not even pregnant) due to my previous train being delayed and there being no seats.

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