Virgin Trains. Pregnant. No seats.

[MindTheGap6]

Starting a whole new thread on this one!

Missed my train this morning due to delays. Got on the next train to London. Virgin train. No seats, 5 months pregnant, painful joints, very unsteady and uncomfortable. All seats booked apart from first class. Found conductor to see if he could find me a seat as I'm pregnant and unsteady. Was told no to sitting in a practically empty first class, and that I should get off the train and get a less busy one if I want a seat. Three members of staff currently on duty sat in first class (fine, but would've expected them to at least help me find a seat). Wasn't told about priority seats. Had to wait until a very kind woman spotted me and loudly said that she couldn't believe nobody allowed me to sit and that people should be ashamed (this is after I nearly fell over trying to pull my terribly uncomfortable maternity jeans up!). Originally had a seat booked but connection was delayed so missed it (whole other story!). Feeling frustrated and stupid.

AIBU to think that this is pretty poor form? Or do I need to suck it up and get on with it as 'being pregnant isn't an illness' as I've heard many times before on MN (prepared for that)

Yes those tear-jerking posters about "daddy came home crying because a customer shouted" they put all round stations drive me mad. Sort out your fucking trains before you tell the customers off for being rude (actual abusive behaviour aside, obvs)!

Personally I think the staff should have found her a seat or given her one in first class! She sensibly booked a seat through no fault of her own this was then not available. No one is suggesting surely that every pregnant woman should get a seat and de-value the perception of first class more that sometimes leniency and compassion need to be used and this sounds like one of those times! Let’s be kind to one another and try to have some empathy!

I would have sat in the empty first class seat! What would the staff have done to you?

I found when I was pregnant it was rare that someone would offer me a seat and women were the worst. I never made a fuss even when 8 months pregnant but I’m sure if I’d asked someone if I could have their seat they wouldn’t have refused I never tested it out. I found it more annoying when people put bags or very young (non paying) children in seats. The train I died to catch was always busy and a seat was rare regardless of situation

OP, you were not at all unreasonable. I hate the attitude that when you’re uncomfortable, tired, and your whole centre of gravity has shifted, you’re just fussing by expecting a bit of kindness and empathy. Women who have simple pain-free pregnancies are lucky, but those who don’t are not somehow failures or attention-seekers.

if conectionwas delayed surely their fault so they shold just check and then let op sit there

I was on a Great Western Railway train last week, it was so cramped you couldn't move. At 29 weeks I just couldn't stand for an 1hr. The staff were kind enough to let me sit in first class and it was reasonably busy, a couple of seats free - she even offered me a drink! I did offer to pay though.... she just said noooo sit down!

For the person who commented on the refreshment host not knowing who'd paid first class or not - actually they ask to see your ticket on Virgin and most operators even use it as way of stock control.

Courtesy is all it is. It wouldn't be all that often that someone would need a seat in first class because the people of standard class (who can) are to bloody rude to give up their seat to someone who needs it. I get so annoyed on the buses to when an elderly person gets on the bus and no on gets up, I'm often sat at the back but would without fail get up and let him/her sit down!

Upgrading to 1st class can be pricey especially during the week and when you already had a seat reserved but missed it due to delays. There was no problem letting her sit in a near enough empty carriage.

The worst bit for me was telling her to get off the train and on to a less busy one! I'd be fuming and I would've sat down anyway.

Wow I’m so surprised by some of the unkind and unsupportive comments on this thread! This is mumsnet, a network of mums who supposedly support each other. Disagreeing is one thing, fair enough if you think it’s unreasonable when 5 months pregnant and uncomfortable to expect some kindness in being found a seat?!? being down right rude is unnecessary imo.

Dreadful form! Next time just go and sit in first.

I was on a Great Western Railway train last week, it was so cramped you couldn't move. At 29 weeks I just couldn't stand for an 1hr. The staff were kind enough to let me sit in first class and it was reasonably busy, a couple of seats free - she even offered me a drink! I did offer to pay though.... she just said noooo sit down!

There you go that's what I'd call excellent service and kind and humane too and what has it dome for the rail company have they lost a bit of revenue?. Nope they have now made a much better impression on this passenger who will tell others of her experiences with that train company unlike the bearded ones outfit;!

27 years ago, got a tube every day in rush hour from home to Holborn and back. Never once when I was a massive pregnant thing did anyone offer me a seat.

I honestly think this is ridiculous- empty first class seats and soneone who needs a bit of help and perhaps a touch of kindness can’t use one. First class is a ridiculous thing - as a very regular train user it pisses me off enormously to see empty first class carriages whilst we are all crammed in to other carriages. To the people who have said people pay a lot for these seats and you shouldn’t get a freebie - what nonsense- most are paid by companies charging it on to clients or by people who have prebooked ages in advance/got deals and get the seats for an extra few quid. Also if I had been daft enough to pay for one of these vastly over priced seats I would be more than happy for someone In your position to come and sit with me. Shame on the company and shame on those that didn’t move. Gits.

cheval and you think that's how it should be or you hope things have improved?

Someone should have given you their seat. They would have when I was younger. My daughter, who travels by Tube, and always gives seats to those who need them ( and once travelled across half of London to accompany someone who was very ill on a train) is shocked at the behaviour of travellers towards their fellows in need.

Someone should have given you their seat. They would have when I was younger. My daughter, who travels by Tube, and always gives seats to those who need them ( and once travelled across half of London to accompany someone who was very ill on a train) is shocked at the behaviour of travellers towards their fellows in need

There’s a massive difference between giving up a seat on a shorter journey and giving up a seat on what could be an hours long journey.

The conductor should have been more helpful, and taken you to a priority seat and asked people there to move.

But how on earth can you say they didn’t tell you about priority seats - how do you not KNOW?

They’ve been there for years, with pictures, every single carriage. One of the pictures is even a pregnancy bump!

sorry but i would be annoyed if i had paid for first class to ensure i had a seat because i was pregnant and they let someone else sit there for free.

there is a choice to upgrade to first class.

You're pregnant and you have had a crap day and it will feel like shit- ive been there but yabu

It doesn't bother me in the least if I'm in first class and a pregnant woman is allowed to sit there because there aren't enough seats elsewhere. It's not as if first class is going to be packed out with pregnant women, and it doesn't harm me in any way at all if one or two more seat there become occupied.

You had booked a seat, and it was there fault it wasn't available therefore they have to find you a seat.

I would complain to virgin.

In my experience Virgin are either shit or excellent.

You could have paid for an upgrade to first class but didn't want too so they did nothing wrong not moving you there.

It's not their fault you missed your original train as you went to get coffee, yes it was delayed but the other travellers likely just waited as they knew it would leave asap once it arrived. Not sure how you can not know about priority seats but knew you could try and blag an upgrade to first class.

OP missed the train she was booked on because it was delayed; its arrival time was posted as being approximately half an hour later so she went to get a coffee, then it arrived unexpectedly around 20 minutes earlier than they said and she couldn't get there on time. So it wasn't her fault - it was perfectly reasonable for her to believe the information Virgin posted.