Paying for childcare

[Coulditbeme]

Ex has taken me to court and got 50/50 shared care of our 3 year old.
Child currently in full time childcare which I currently pay for and claim back costs via UC.
He pays me maintenance but this will now stop due to the new 50/50 arrangement.
I work part time and he works full time so on the weeks I have the child I will only need part time childcare whereas on the weeks he has the child he will still need full time childcare.
What happens now?
UC won’t let me claim full time childcare costs if I only work part time so aibu to think he should be paying for the childcare on his weeks?

Op I think you will find that nurseries are very used to dealing with these type of situations as are schools also thinking ahead.
I had a very similar situation with my XH and DD.
Yes he isn't putting her first but there is nothing you can do to make him change his mind if he doesn't want to.
It will be difficult but you will have to learn to relinquish control.
I don't mean to sound harsh, I know exactly how upsetting it is. It takes a long time to come to terms with. DD was 3 when we split But now my DD is 9, she is a lovely girl and we have a fab relationship.
She's pretty well adjusted and doing great in all areas of her life.

From September YOU can claim the 30hrs childcare - as you are working more than 16hrs (this is the requirement). (You might need to check about the term time working if you do not get paid through the holidays - but I imagine you will still hit the average earnings limit anyway)

YOU need to claim the 30hrs as again this can only claimed by the PRIMARY carer. (And you cannot claim UC for the child if ExH claims the 30hrs)

I would then suggest you talk to nursery - get her 30 hours set up so that it covers as much of your working time as possible. You should be able to make it cover - but sessions etc might mean you need to pay for a 'breakfast club' element. You can still claim UC along with the 30hrs. ExH will then need to make whatever top up arrangements he needs (extra hours/school holidays) - and will need to pay for these (in my view) as you do not need them. Ideally he should have a separate contract with nursery at that point as you should not need to be paying for any nursery time once she gets the 30hrs.

You might be able to 'stretch' the 30hrs over 52 weeks but this would only give you 21.9hrs which may not over your working hours if you do not work next door / sessions do not fit!

I manage a nursery and we don't do separate invoices
We have one parent who is liable and everything goes to them

You can get thirty hours child care if you work over 16 hours at nmw so 20
Hours you should be good with and if there’s any excess he should pay for it

Your nursery manager should be your 'friend' here. You set up her 30 hours - these are hours I assume he will need covering too so he gets 50% benefit. They can then explain to ExH that to keep the wrap around place he will need to pay for it every week.

What a ramble... :)

@insancerre I can see this helps your administration - but dont you think that rather places the liability on one parent leaving the other take advantage?

Possibly, little owl
But it's also about legal responsibility
One parent and one contract
It's all been approved by our solicitors

Surely two parents have equal responsibility

Not very good for parents where one is a abuser though is it insancerre - that their childs nursery is an accomplice in the abuse? I'm actually quite shocked to hear you say that.

Is that definitely right LittleOwl? 😱
Does it have to be the same person who claims UC who claims the 30 funded hours??
They are 2 separate bodies - UC is the DWP and the 30 free hours is via the local authority.
I would not be claiming any childcare costs back via UC so I thought her dad would be ok to apply for the 30 hours from the authority whilst I get the child element ( not childcare element) of UC.

Just a thought, as a childminder I'd be happy to have two contracts for the same child.

The big problem is that op needs mornings and to get mornings her weeks needs a full time mornings contract I assume - it sounds like it would be difficult to get the ex to pay at all despite using it on his weeks? I would tell nursery that is the only contract I’m entering into and if he wants afternoons he should bill separately. But nurseries may not agree to implement this, although they might as it’s distinct single liabilities per contract.

Well if that's environment awry is unwilling or unable tinge love then you need two settings - until he realizes he's being and arse and childcare is expensive

UC and 30hrs are claimed by the primary carer - the one in receipt of child benefit.

There is nothing to stop you claiming the 30 hours and him using them on his week - hence the suggestion to set up nursery in a way it benefits both your schedules. but all the claims for the child come from the same parent.

BTW you need to get onto your childcare account pretty soon to make the 30hr claim from Sept.

www.gov.uk/sign-in-childcare-account

Why can't you claim the 30 hours over 5 days? So 8am til 1pm or similar, is the setting allowed to dictate full days only?

How does it work if he claimed childcare vouchers? That'd mean OP couldn't claim tax credits, wouldn't it?

The system isn't a good fit for non-amiable parents is it?

If only one parent can claim then it'd make sense for you to be that parent,given your lower salary. Ideally I would deduct the childcare element from the nursery bill and each parent pay half the remainder.

I would put her into childcare for half days all the time. Split the bill 50/50 and then he can decide if he wants to let you pick up the child or he can pay a childminder or whatever he can come up with.
He wants 50 50. He gets 50 50.

I think the op needs to use her weight as current contract holder and arrange her new contract now for mornings only urgently. Leave it up to nursery and ex to see if they will arrange an afternoon contract with him, if they won't he will have to find and pay for full time childcare elsewhere.

That is his problem to sort out not op.

I think SurfingGiantess has it...

You're going to be working mornings, so put in your 30 hour claims for mornings only for next September onwards. Tell him he has to pay half of the bill since he'll be in charge of childcare for his weeks.

If he needs afternoons, he'll have to find care there or somewhere else ... and he'll have to leave work, pick her up, and take her to her other place of care if she can't stay on for the afternoons. Or pay someone to do it.

Don't offer to do this for him or have her on his afternoons. The 50/50 will become less appealing quite rapidly, since he's only gone for it to screw you over financially.

Oh, and you could even perhaps pick up some afternoon hours somewhere else on alternate weeks when he has her ... which could be quite helpful to you financially!

Hmm yes I’m not quite sure where I’d get a job working afternoons on alternate weeks only but I get your point 😊
Hopefully I will be able to increase back to full time somehow in the future.

Thankyou for all your help so far.
It’s so complicated!
He’s not happy. He’s now talking about himself putting a claim in for child benefit and universal credit (didn’t take him long, did it?) as he says he is entitled to it for his weeks as he now has 50/50.
He says he’s spoken to them and they say he’s entitled to claim in the circumstances or I can claim one benefit and he can claim the other???

All the info I’ve found says that these things can’t be split. That they can only pay to one person for one child. Told him this but he won’t believe me!

He’s now talking about putting claims in to rival mine - which will mean that payments will stop altogether whilst they investigate won’t it?!

All this and childcare are wanting an answer re what we are doing in September, who to invoice for what etc.

Does anybody know if he really can claim child benefit or universal credit for a child I am already claiming for??

My head is banging with it all now!

He's full of sh*t.

Yes he can try and claim CB by taking it off you. Please ring CB and tell them he is threatening to apply for it despite you being the primary carer and all Drs, dentist and childcare contracts being in your name. Ask them what evidence you can provide to prevent it being stopped.

You need CB to claim universal credits etc.

Arrange with the nursery that you want mornings only and you wish to claim the 30 hours EYFS for them. Tell them that ex may wish to have the afternoons but that is between them and you will not get involved.

Stop discussing it with your ex. One email - I have arranged and will be paying for morning childcare for DC at x nursery, you will need to arrange afternoon childcare for DC yourself although I believe x nursery has spaces at the moment.

Go grey rock. He can threaten and intimidate all he wants but at the moment you have the upper hand (satisfy CB as the parent entitled to claim) so use that advantage.

It's possible to still claim childcare tax credits and vouchers simultaneously. But the cost of the childcare for TC purposes is the figure after the vouchers are taken into account. So if your childcare would be £100 per week but with vouchers it's £80, you can only claim childcare tax credits for the £80. Otherwise you're effectively claiming twice.

No idea how that works with separated parents though...