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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how much support you actually need with a new baby?

128 replies

chocolatestrawberryvanilla · 19/06/2018 20:36

I would like to have a baby, before I am too old. I am single so would need to use donor sperm.

The problem is I wouldn’t have much support. I do have friends but I know from experience friends can and will only do so much. I have no family who can help and obviously there wouldn’t be a partner.

Yet others seem to manage - I don’t know. Am I kidding myself?

OP posts:
catintheworld · 20/06/2018 21:12

Chocstrawvanilla - you are young enough that you still have time to meet someone. Give yourself another 2 years before going down the sperm donor route. That still leaves you enough time if you don't meet someone.

Get yourself out there online dating and see what happens. If a good un doesn't come along, then plan B could be the sperm donor.

The thing with having a child alone is that it makes getting out and dating much harder. So by panicking too soon, you could be doing yourself out of a good few years dating opportunities while you still have time to fall in love and have a child.

I say this as someone over 45, who thought 40 was their cut off point for having a child. It seemed so old. Then crept up to 41, 42, 43, even 44. Only now letting the dream go.

insideoutsider · 22/06/2018 06:38

@catintheworld - you might have missed that OP is gay. 2 years of online dating is not going to mean she won't need donor sperm.

Okokiknow · 22/06/2018 07:16

If you need to you will. Dh works 7 days a week (self employed). I work from home for his company. We have 3 dc
One in reception, one who has 15 hours nursery a week. (2.5 hours a day) and a 1 year old at home. We have no famiky here and no friends have ever helped. We manage. Its hard. Havent been out on our since the eldest was born 5 years ago. But you cope. Again it is hard. But you cope

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