Please make sure children are wearing appropriate clothing

[Damnthatdog]

No mini skirts or crop tops, yr 6 leavers party.

So not children, but girls. Please make sure girls aren’t wearing anything which could be deemed provocative. Which is how it reads to me.

AIBU or not?

What would be appropriate wear is my question.

Something that covers your arse and allows you to move around comfortably would be a good start? But no I'm not going to give you a list of 'appropiate' bowling clothes, I'm sure you could come with some of you think hard enough.

And yes a swimsuit for swimming would be fine, clues in the name. I wouldn't let her wear a thong bikini though, am I oppressing her?

I just don't think crop-tops are everyday wear. I wouldn't let my 10yo son walk around the shops or go bowling topless, does this mean I think his torso is 'sexual'? FFS.

It's no one's business how a girl chooses to dress other than her parents. By all means have a dress code for everyone (no underwear showing, midriff covered) for school but otherwise?

But they’re representing the school surely? I don’t see this as a concern about being provocative issue, just that they want the children to wear something in lieu of school uniform that would be appropriate as school wear had the school not got a uniform.

A child with a short skirt or her blouse tied under her bust line would be asked not to come to school dressed like that so I don’t see any issue having a dress code for a school trip.

Frequency

There isn't anything innately wrong with it. Likewise, there's nothing innately wrong with being buck naked. The issues are contextual. Being buck naked at bowling when under the care of your teachers is inappropriate. Similarly, wearing clothing that creates the real potential for you to show your underwear in that scenario is inappropriate. Let parents do what they want. Schools are accountable to higher standards.

I work in a school with no uniform. The other day a year 7 girl wearing the tiniest shorts ever bent over to pick up her bag and I got an eyefull. Horrible. I don't want to see it. I dont want to waste teaching time dealing with the fall out from her class mates seeing. I would feel exactly the same if it was a boy or girl. Wear some bloody clothes.

placemats

Appropriate wear for both boys and girls would be jeans/leggings and a full length t-shirt.

Placemats

Appropriate clothing for a bowling alley according to cultural norms would be casual, comfortable and practical. It would not generally expose body parts other than the usual face, arms, legs. Examples could include:

Shorts and t shirts
Jeans and jumper
A dress/skirt long enough to cover underwear during physical activity
Practical shoes e.g trainers

We all know this.

You're doing a lot of arguing the case for a 10 year old school girl's right to flash her bum at her fellow 10 year old's, Frequency.
You're actually starting to sound bloody weird.

I'm sure you could come up with some of your own if you think hard enough.*

Completely garbled that sentence, apologies.

@Frequency

Nothing, at home, with her friends in a safe space, on the beach supervised by adults or in the bath.

It's a public place outside of school and children will therefore be within a space where unvetted adults are present. The school is not suggesting the child would be provoking or asking for anything and neither am I, however it is appropriate when taking children outside of the school environment to safeguard their wellbeing.

A ten year old boy looking at a ten year old girl in a crop top and thinking she is pretty at a school disco within the school with only children and approved adults present, I don't like it, but I accept children will start to see each other this way.

Under school care, taken to a public place and either older teenage children or god forbid a random adult is staring at a child's overly exposed skin out of interest, absolutely not. The school is not putting children in this position and neither should parents.

Personally I wouldn't let my ten year old child out the door in a mini skirt and crop top, no matter the occasion. If my child were seventeen and chose a similar outfit because somehow I hadn't instilled dress sense into them, I would ask if they were sure it was self respectful and classy. It's called parenting.

I'm guessing leggings and a t shirt would be the best attire for bowling. Allows for flexibility and movement. It's what my dd would choose to wear but then that's her usual attire for anything "sporty.

No one gives a shit about appropriate clothing for boys?

Like no boy ever was sexualised or the subject of sexual inappropriateness?

But what if the leggings are too tight around the bum. Is that suitable?

So leggings a t shirt?

I mean come on. One could possibly see a panty line through the leggings or a bra line through the t shirt.

Would leggings be appropriate for a male child of 10?

@Damnthatdog

With the crop top, perhaps this is included because the combination of short skirt and crop top is just a step up from beach wear in public, especially with all the bending and twisting around for bowling.

I agree for crop top (which boys also wear), a top that is not very short so only showing a couple of cos of skin with a pair of jeans would be ok with me for my daughter at that age if I was there or in appropriate environment, friends house, home with friends etc. In this case however there is the possibility of jeans and a tiny boob tube crop top, which would be all manner of exposing when jumping around bowling.

It's not provocative, no one is saying this, it's just not activity and location (in public under school supervision and responsibility without parents) appropriate.

Also agree with @Myotherusernameisbest that you should be looking at your son's dress and behaviour and leave parenting and educating of the ten year old girls in the class to the parents and educators of the ten year old girls.

@frequency
Well, you’d assume a 10 year old girl would be embarrassed about showing her knickers because they are private and it’s against social norms, in the same way a 10 year old boy would be embarrassed for flashing his pants, or an adult would be embarrassed at flashing theirs.

If they aren’t, then we have to ask what on earth are we exposing young girls to

Appropriate outfits for a child bowling

Miniskirt

Crop top

Does anyone really think that either of those outfits are really inappropriate for going bowling with class mates?

Inappropriate would be - a long floaty skirt or flappy wide trousers legs (trip hazard), high heels, overly tight/restrictive trousers or the ridiculous prom dress/swimming costume/flippers type outfits. But why on earth would the outfits above not be appropriate? (in fact,I'd say the sporty leggings/crop top/trainers would be perfect for a child to bowl in)

It's a ridiculous nonsense to blame the girls or their parents.
The email should say - wear clothes suitable for a sporting activity.
If some children get that wrong and are uncomfortable and can't bowl, then they learn.

@placemats - of course boys aren’t sexualised in the same ways girls are! What planet are you on?!

No one gives a shit about appropriate clothing for boys?

I care, but funnily enough it's not boys being encouraged to wear clothes that show their arses. I wonder why that is?

Why do people think that equally for girls means them wearing as little clothes as possible? I just don't get it.

Just dress for the occasion, like the boys do.

Adults can wear what they like, but children need a bit of guidance surely?

I would have thought that all clothes should fit the wearer. Otherwise, no they don't look very good.

Let's think- if a 10yo boy decides he wants to dress like his 18yo brother on his way out clubbing, he would wear...... jeans and a t shirts!

If the tshirt had a sexually provocative slogan or picture on it then yes, it would be deemed inappropriate and wound not be suitable for school bowling. Or anywhere for that matter.

In year 6 most children are 11 by the time of the leaving 'do'.

@noblegiraffe

I wouldn't go out the house in a crop top and mini skirt, no matter what or where:)

Most nonuniform schools I know of have a policy of appropriate clothes that includes no stomach or midriff showing for either sex. I would think that is a pretty common rule for 'school appropriate' which to me doesn't mean that others things aren't entirely inappropriate for someone of their age but that school appropriate is slightly more strict much like those schools often have rules against hats much to teen-me's eternal frustration as I would have lived in hats if I could. No one was saying hats were inappropriate for teen-me though, just not for school or school events.

My kids have plenty of outfits that fit that. The last time they went bowling, they were all in jeans and t-shirts. I wore a t-shirt and a unisex kilt (I specify that as women's kilts are commonly sold around 6 inches shorter than the unisex/men's versions for no reason that I can see and I find the women's ones get flipped up too easily for my comfort so don't wear them without leggings outside the house).

Fine. Basically my argument is that in this particular case the dictate was what female pupils should not wear.

Last time I checked, I wasn't living in Saudi Arabia.