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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you feel if a teacher did this to your child?

285 replies

Beenherebefore · 17/06/2018 21:36

Background -
Private school, in year 7. Good kid, all the teachers say so and so do I. Was head girl last year. Doing well, respectful yadda yadda.

So she was in a maths lesson. The teacher was a supply teacher. My daughter raises hand to ask teacher for help as she was stuck on a question.
As she was looking at her book and explaining where she needed help the teacher suddenly took my Daugher's head in her hands and snapped it up and round to the white board, said "read what it says and then speak to me" and then sharply turned her head back to her book and let go.

My daughter came out of school an hour later and told me about it immediately. Not one to make a fuss she told me it had hurt her and that while it didn't still hurt she could feel where it had happened.

I called the school. They said they would treat as safe guarding issue and meet me on Monday.

How would you play this?
I'm not happy and I want this dealt with but not sure how far I should take it.

Would you be as cross and upset as I feel about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Beenherebefore · 18/06/2018 17:47

The whole year is going on this trip so she will not be with that member of staff, but personally I just think it's weird that if they are taking it as seriously as they say they are that they would allow her to go off for the day with my daughter. Even if they say they will 'be kept apart' ????

OP posts:
Original poster
Beenherebefore · 18/06/2018 17:49

Good to hear from you that she is not allowed to discuss things with me. Bloody frustrating though!

OP posts:
stayingaliveisawayoflife · 18/06/2018 17:53

Any suspected assault or disclosure of one should be reported to the LADO within 24 hours of the school being informed. That is a known rule. The lado may then ask the schools safeguarding team to investigate but procedures should be put in place to protect teacher and child.

cheeseoverchocolate · 18/06/2018 18:22

.

Sparklyshoes16 · 18/06/2018 19:05

@Beenherebefore definitely contact LADO...just wondering as this member of staff is regular has your daughter met her before? Does she know if this member of staff has form with other kids?

@HectorlovesKiki That doesn't even come into it whether you pay or not for your child's education Hmm

Can someone explain what . (dot/full stop) means please.

Original poster
Beenherebefore · 18/06/2018 19:43

School mentioned in their last conversation with me that LADO have been informed.

OP posts:
DragonMummy1418 · 18/06/2018 19:49

I'd be very seriously considering reporting this to the police if they aren't going to be taking this seriously!!!!
How can she get away with that behaviour!?!?
If someone had done that to me then I'd not have hesitated to be straight down the police station! 😡

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 18/06/2018 19:58

Ok if they have contacted the lado then things should be happening. The teacher has the right to be seen as innocent until the investigation is concluded so whilst they will be watched they are entitled to carry on with their job. You could write down what your daughter says happened and ask her who saw it but you really mustn't get involved beyond that. It's difficult but the processes must be followed.

Sparklyshoes16 · 18/06/2018 20:10

@cheeseoverchocolate what does . mean?

honeyrider · 18/06/2018 20:13

"she's actually a really good and professional teacher"

This is why you need to report this assault to the police. If my child was a witness to this sort of assault I would not like my child to be questioned or write his witness account without me being present as I would be concerned that he could be coached in what to write to suit the school.

myheartgoesout · 18/06/2018 20:21

"she's actually a really good and professional teacher" I would be worried about this comment - they seem to be trying to present the teacher in a very positive light, what is their agenda? They should be making no comment about the teacher.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 18/06/2018 20:34

@sparklyshoes16

A dot is when someone is placemarking a thread to read later without commenting or bookmarking

LokiBear · 18/06/2018 20:43

Teacher here. You must complain to the school and ensure that supply teacher is never booked again. I teach Drama and very occasionally I need to make contact with a pupil to model something (usually a lift, physical theatre related). I always ask the pupils permission and explain exactly how im going to make contact first. If they say no, I dont do it. I've had to physically restrain pupils but ive only ever done this in an emergency and I've followed our policy. What the teacher did isn't acceptable, in part because of how intimidated it made your daughter feel.

Sparklyshoes16 · 18/06/2018 20:48

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut ah thanks, I thought the bookmark button was for that? Anyway thanks for your reply.

@Beenherebefore has your DD met/seen this teach before in school?

Sparklyshoes16 · 18/06/2018 20:50

@LokiBear she's a member of staff in the school not a supply Teacher, was only established a few hours ago though.

Sparklyshoes16 · 18/06/2018 20:56

@LokiBear my friend is a Drama Teacher and she has said the exact same as you, she teaches a lot of Frantic...quite a few Teacher friends who are Drama/PE/Dance that may have to have physical contact with a child have said the exact same! Apparently this has been the talk of their staffroom today!

@Beenherebefore just seen the bit about being good and professional etc that is really not good!

LokiBear · 18/06/2018 21:20

Then she should have her knuckles wrapped. Its a very bad decision andvleftva child feeling upset. Those feelings need to be acknowledged.

SparkleMotions · 18/06/2018 21:49

I really think you need to contact the police. The School should surely be taking measures to protect your Daughter, allowing this teacher to go on a School trip where your DD is present does seem quite wrong, she assaulted your DD she needs to face the consequences for that - the fact that she trained for years for her career is irrelevant, she had no right to behave in that manner towards a Child that was in her care!

siwel123 · 19/06/2018 00:08

Doesn't seem they are taking it seriously at all with thier comments about the teacher.

Keep a record of all correspondence between you, I would go through email so you can prove what is being said in case they mess you around.

Would definitely contact the governess at any time you feel school isn't behaving appropiatley to this incident.

Me personally would have rang the police but that's up to you. Also good advice about the council team, maybe contact them yourself and report yourself?

Kolo · 19/06/2018 00:13

Completely unacceptable. Given that it was a supply teacher I don’t want assurance they’d not be allowed back into the school (I can’t see the school wanting them back anyway). I don’t also want it reported to the supply agency as it really needs to go on this teachers file. To put it into context, if this was a permanent member of staff, there’d be an investigation and disciplinary action.

Monty27 · 19/06/2018 00:28

How upset would DD be if you kept her off tomorrow to see a gp, have her looked over if anything to record the incident medically? Even after school hours.

DPotter · 19/06/2018 00:32

In a health care setting, a report of possible physical assault would result in suspension on full pay for the member of staff, whilst an investigation was carried out.

I would also be unhappy about my child being asked to provide a statement for a quasi-judical purpose without my consent and presence. If the police wanted a statement from a Yr 7 child, a parent or suitable adult would be present.

A child has claimed she was assaulted. This is a serious claim and to protect herself I would have thought the teacher would not want to go on a trip, just in case she found herself alone with child. All seems a bit slap dash to me.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 19/06/2018 01:14

So sorry for your daughter.
I'd get her checked by a sports physio, they are better than gp at diagnosing and these things can re emerge esp if she'd already had an injury there.
Also, disgraceful reply from the school. It's like telling you before their "investigation" what the outcome is and that you should not be complaining and that they are not taking it seriously. Smacks of arrogance and closing ranks.
Where and why will your daughter be writing her own report and will you be allowed to read what she says. Who will be supervising this?
Given the schools response, I'd worry that she'd be intimidated whilst doing this.I think you should type up her statement and submit it in any case. I'd be contacting the govenors too.
Also who is going to keep them apart on the trip?
Inappropriate neck twisting set on one side. I also think her response in general to someone asking a genuine question was like saying "dont ask questions in my class!" and boasting about how she was feared.. what message is that supposed to send?
in some cases when a teacher picks on a child like this and makes a fool of them with overly dramatic guestures in this way, it is showing off for, which I feel is almost like saying to the rest of the class - its OK to treat this person like this... Poor behaviour towards a pupil in front of their peers can encourage bullying. Its a terrible way to teach.
I hope you get some kind of resolution for this with the school.

emmyrose2000 · 19/06/2018 04:03

I'm sorry, OP, but I really don't think the school is taking his seriously at all. They are effectively giving you the brush off. There is absolutely no way this woman should be allowed on the school trip if your daughter is there.

In your shoes, I'd be contacting the head and telling them that it's completely inappropriate for the woman who assaulted your daughter to be anywhere near her, that she should not be on the trip (or even in the school at all!) and that you are reporting this to the police. It's an outright assault, and I'd also be putting in an official complaint to the education authority about her. She should not be teaching at all if she doesn't know basic self control.

emmyrose2000 · 19/06/2018 04:09

In a health care setting, a report of possible physical assault would result in suspension on full pay for the member of staff, whilst an investigation was carried out

I was wondering this too, especially as it's come to light that she seems to be a permanent staff member and not a supply teacher. Sending the perpetrator and the victim on an outing together, albeit with dozens of other people, is 100% inappropriate on the scholol's part.

It seems to me that the school is going to fully support the criminal teacher in this, and not the victim. This is a major reason I believe a police report should be filed sooner rather than later, before the school and the teacher are able to twist things around to favour themselves.