AIBU to avoid church because of DH’s flatulence 🤢

[itseasybeingcheesy]

DH has a rotten stomach at the mo from overeating at the pub yesterday and the house smells awful as a result. He think I’m being OTT by saying we shouldn’t go to church and inflict that on others.

I know this is disgusting but please back me up? I’m not BU am I?

he needs to go out for a walk and spread them, or sit on the toilet for the day

give him some charcoal

Pray before you go, OP, using these verses:-

Matthew 6:21
21 For where your treasure is, there your fart will be also.

Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the LORD with all your fart and lean not on your own understanding;

Proverbs 4:23
23 Above all else, guard your fart, for everything you do flows from it.

Dammit, MichonnesBBF, I'd just got over that snapping and farting thread and now I can't stop randomly laughing again

Wherever you be let your wind blow free, In church or chapel let the windows rattle

I'm also amazed at people who can hold in a fart. Just.... how?!

We live in a three storey house so to go outside for a fart is quite an effort

Tell him to just stick his backside out a window.

My German husband has asked me to remind you all that it is Vaters day ( pronounced farter for those who do not know German)

I'm also amazed at people who can hold in a fart. Just.... how?!

its not hard. im sure teachers dont just stand at the front of the class farting, you wouldnt fart in a job interview or a drs room would you? people hold them.

I'd go without him. He can then sit in the toilet by himself and ponder the state of his immortal soul (and his colon).

ofcourse
ha ha vcb family.

People who go out and fart in public where people are subjected to them are fucking vile

If I try to hold farts in for very long then either they escape whether I'm clenching or not (bending over is particularly hazardous) or I end up with such a terrible 'trapped wind' stomach ache that I have to roll around on the floor feeling sick until it all comes out.

Having a fart is nothing to do with needing a poo, so sitting on the toilet all day would make no difference whatsoever. Other than containing the smell in one room.

All those people who think it's 'disgusting' and 'he should be ashamed' or even 'go out of the house when he feels a fart coming'...you just wait until you're eighty! Your bums will be fart-city and you probably won't even be aware of it!

When reprimanding your dc it's best to hold in a fart.

Butterfly But if you try to hold it in, doesn't it just slowly, silently escape instead? I vaguely thought that's what most women did and why we appear to fart less than men...!

who can hold in farts? never heard of that. excusing yourself to break wind in private certainly, but holding it in? how? why?
surely even if you could, that's unhealthy?

We live in a three storey house so to go outside for a fart is quite an effort

Do you have a low window from which he could point his bum?

Those of you who don't hold in farts- do you just sit there at work letting rip?

i thought a fart was a precursor to a poo?
the fart comes first, makes way for the poo coming?

How can people not hold in a fart? Assuming you're not 80? Do you just walk around life, gaily letting rip?

im sure teachers dont just stand at the front of the class farting

They don't need to ... I'm reliably told that they wander around the class, drop one (silently) next to the kids and then wait for them to accuse each other

who can hold in farts? never heard of that. excusing yourself to break wind in private certainly, but holding it in?

How is it unhealthy to not fart at every occasion? You just wait, it's like holding a wee. The farts won't enter your blood stream.

Snap, Ras

The problem with letting one go silently, is that you can't always be sure it will be silent.....

but i guess i could be wrong