AIBU to ask for your positive stories of babies born at 34 weeks?

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Not really an AIBU but I'm feeling very emotional right now and am shamelessly posting here for traffic.

DS1 was born a week ago at 34 + 3. He was a good weight and initially was doing very well. However in the past 24 hours he has gone backwards - he can't control his temperature any longer, he's jaundiced again, he has stopped breastfeeding and they're talking about re-inserting his feeding tube

I am so so worried about him and feel like I'm getting this all wrong. I feel like I might never be able to take him home. I'm very weepy and seem to have lost all perspective.

So I was hoping that some mumsnetters might have some positive stories to share about their preemie babies, to reassure me that this isn't forever and DS will (touch wood) be fine?

No experience but just wanted to send some positive thoughts your way.

My friend had twins at 33 weeks, they were teeny, one had been growth restricted in the womb so was 3lb 3oz at birth. They came off breathing support then back on, in hospital for weeks. They've just turned 6, fabulous boys who are rarely ill, full of energy, doing well at.school and all round great boys. OP, you are going through the mill. I hope your baby turns a corner soon.

No experience. Just wanted to wish you best of luck, I'm sure you are in good hands 💐

Oh bless you, thinking of you and your baby. I was born at 29 weeks, this was 33 years ago. I'm perfectly healthy! Medical care is so much more advanced than it was back then. I'm sure your little one is in great hands. Sending you lots of good thoughts. Stay positive, I know it's hard!

My sister's husband's parent's best friends (sorry for the ridiculous and confusing connection...) had quadruplets 31 years ago born at 30 weeks. They're now the most stunning and lovely women and man - successful, healthy, happy adults and one of them has just had a baby of her own!

My DD was born at 34 +4 due to IUGR and had setbacks in the first few days but came home after 16 days. She is due to start school in September and has caught up size wise and is much healthier than many of her friends born full term.

Me Me my friend had a baby at exactly 34 weeks. Very stressful first few weeks going up and down and a short spell in ICU. I can't remember the exact details of that time but issues with breathing and feeding (never critical life or death but very stressful for friend and her DH). She took him home around the time she would have been 38 weeks (I think this was a while ago now so I don't remember precisely). Since then the only issue she's had was that he was a fairly fussy baby but still within normal range and maybe just his nature anyway. He's hit all developmental milestones has just finished reception year at school he's doing well at reading (one of the best in his class apparently even though he's the younger end of the year), seems average height etc. no physical issues. Just a happy little guy.

DS was born at 33 weeks he was so so skinny but v long - birthweight was 6.5 I’m sure he’d have been 9-10 pound at full term
I cried at first bath in hospital he just looked like he needed blowing up with a bicycle pump - I thought will he survive!
He’s now 25 and 6’4” and built like a rugby player
Love him to pieces
I am sure your baby will be fine - hugs xx

My sister was born at 34 weeks 30 years ago. She was jaundiced etc and had a few feeding issues initially apparently but other than that she's had an entirely normal life.

My first son was born at 32+3 - fairly unexpectedly, although there was just enough time to give me steroids to boost his lung development before he was born. He spent 3.5 weeks in NICU and it was also a bit of an up-down-up trajectory - he had a good weight (1980g) and fed well initially, but then he hit a jaundiced phase and it was a battle to get enough milk into him; he had a feeding tube for a few days at the lowest point. He was very sleepy and had sleep apnoe too that he was put on caffeine therapy for. However - it got slowly better, after a week at home I stopped giving him breastmilk in a bottle, another week of that and I stopped weighing him and fretting about whether he was getting enough - soon after that he hit 3kg and after that it was basically fine. He was playing catch-up for a few months in terms of growth and development, but he crawled at eight months and walked at a year and has never really looked back! He's ten now, has no issues at all (at least nothing we would pin on his birth - he has no sense of direction and is a terrible dancer, but I think we're basically good). He is still very small and light for his age, but so are his two younger brothers and they were born at 36+5 and 37 weeks respectively, so I think their size is more genetic than anything else. Hang in there! It's an emotional time for you, so be kind to yourself. It will feel like you spend a lot of the first year explaining to people why your baby is so small for their age, but the first year soon fades into the background - there is so much other stuff that comes along! Congratulations on your baby, try to stay strong for the next few weeks, I'm sure it will all be fine. (((hug)))

Friend's son was born at 29 weeks. Good weight for gestation. Stayed in hospital until nearly at term, with lots of ups and down. On oxygen when he came home for a while.

Turns 18 soon. Big strapping, happy, healthy, developmentally normal, daft boy

Mine was the same, 34 weeks, feeding tube & jaundice. Persevere with feeding, push for help if you're trying to breastfeed. I pumped and he had that through the tube. My son was discharged after two weeks after gaining weight breastfeeding, however if he'd needed formula that would have been fine. Keep asking staff for help. Keep yourself fed and sleep when you can. I was so worried but all was okay, I hope the same happens to you.

I have a friend and a sister who both had babies before 34 weeks (30 and 33). Both boys are now MASSIVE tall and charming adults who make my 40wk babies look like undernourished members of a different species. So much so that my son and daughter (each born when one of the boys should have arrived) joke about their bad start in comparison!

Mine was born at that gestation, less than 2kg, in PICU, feed tube, jaundice. Back and forth to outpatients, v poor feeder, jaundice didn’t clear till elderly hcp told me to mix feed as the jaundice attaches better to formula and is excreted more efficiently (sorry for non scientific explanation).

Today he’s travelling abroad in summer hols after compketing Y1 at Russell Group Uni, maths/science degree.

Hi, I had twins at 33 + 3. My daughter (twin 2) took quite a while to take her first breath. Both spent about three weeks in the SCBU. They were very, very tiny and it was all so very frightening at the time. They are 16 next week and have been fit and healthy throughout their childhood, in spite of that shakey start. They both tower above me.

It's pointless me telling you not to worry, but your medical team are on the ball and it will be fine. You aren't doing anything wrong, so be kind to yourself!

Thank you all so much for your kind words and stories, ridiculously they are making me cry again! Really struggling today so it's great to hear that so many people in a similar situation had a happy ending

BTW kangaroo care in both cases v helpful!

I can't promise you a rosy future. Babies born at 40+ weeks can struggle. I do however know a fantastic 24 weeker who is a fit and healthy 5 year old.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you

My ds was born at 35 weeks exactly. He was doing well but like ds developed jaundice and couldn't control his temperature. He also refused to feed either bottle or breast. He had to be tube fed losing weight. He did nothing but sleep and didn't wake for a feed. I wasn't allowed to hols him as his temperature would drop when he wasn't in the hot cot. One day he vomited green bile so was given a lumber puncture. He was diagnosed with viral meningitis which was causing the jaundice. As he recovered from the meningitis everything got better. He began to put on weight and after 16 days we finally left. As I had expressed I was able to establish breast feeding although I was so happy to be home I wouldn't have cared if he was bottle or breast fed. He starts school this year and is no different to his friends. It's a difficult start and I was quite bitter that I was denied the straightforward birth I'd hoped for. However today I'm just grateful for my healthy if somewhat naughty and stubborn ds. Sorry for the lengthy post.

DS was born at 33+5 - 5lb 6oz, and breathing difficulties, infection markers and jaundice. We were in NICU then SCBU for 3 weeks. On an NG tube to start with but EBF on return home.

He's just turned 4, bang on 50th centile for weight/ height. Tonight after a small tooth brushing disagreement he told the baby in my tummy a story and in doing so made me cry.

Can I help with anything specific?

Me! My DS was born at 33+1 due to pre e, and was 3lb11oz.

He was absolutely fine at first, no oxygen etc needed but had a bit of a decline on day 3 or so and needed cpap. Same with feeding - fine at first then they weren’t happy with the aspirates for a couple of days and he was tpn only. I remember going in one morning and seeing he seemed to have gone backwards, and the lovely consultant saw my distress and took me to one side. She said that it’s extrenely common to seem to regress, that these preemies fight so hard at first but then they get exhausted and need a little more help, and not to see it as a step backwards. She was right , he picked up very quickly and was home before his due date, still tiny but medically fine. He is now a perfect little 4 year old getting ready to start school.

I still remember the sheer terror of the bleeping machines, the tubes and the wires and send you . One day at a time OP.

My brother was born at 34 weeks. He still bet the first 8 weeks of his life in NICU and almost died several times. He's now 29, 6'4", has a first class degree and earns so much money it makes me want to puke! Thinking of you and your lovely DS.

Really feel for you, it's such a hard time. Please don't worry that you're not doing things right, in my experience 1 small step forward, several big ones back was normal, you will get there. It's all such a shock a the moment it's natural to feel upset and panic.
My 34 week premie will be three in September and doing absolutely fine. We had real problems with jaundice too so in for nearly two weeks, feeding was really hard to establish because of the jaundice drowsiness (plus my milk took forever to come in) and weight plummeted. But we got there, in fact by 6 months weight was 90th centile. If they need the tube back in for a bit, it doesn't mean it's forever or that you have to stop the other feeding, it just makes it easier to top up what he needs and get the weight back on track, you will get there.

I really wish you all the best, it felt endless to me at the time but you really will get through it. Hoping you're home with your little one soon.

My triplet DNs were only 32 weeks, teeny tiny little things in incubators for the first few days. They all went on to have happy, healthy childhoods and are now 20something graduates and doing just great.

All the best of luck to you and your LO

OP can I ask how often your baby is being fed? A friend's DD (33weeker) was only being fed (expressed breast milk) I think 4 hourly as it suited the hospital. She did much better when her mother pushed for smaller, more frequent feeds. Ignore if that's irrelevant.

Please also remember to eat and drink yourself if you can possibly stomach it.