AIBU at this dietary request in RSVP?

[craxmum]

Hello everyone,

I sent a standard birthday invitation to my son's class (reception). RSVP by [today], state dietary needs etc. I am planning a great party (magician, animators etc), but for the first time am doing it so formally. DS is a popular child, after struggling with extreme shyness, and a lot of kids want to come.
I received today a reply from one mum stating "[Childs name] can have only organic products. Please no refined sugar either. Please check with me if in doubt".
I was already surprised by other requests - namely, halal, gluten free (x2), soy free and vegetarian (x2, one helpfully points out that eggs are not vegetarian). Happy to accommodate (but definitely will outsource to a professional caterer now).

AIBU to think that's a bit too much? Or is it normal? Of course, I can afford organic ingredients, it's not a money issue, but isn't it a little bit cheeky to ask for it?

What are animators?? I've seen it on age party threads now.

I like to think the OP has several skinny nerdy blokes sitting in desks drawing cartoons and laughing at the kids wearing Superman shirts for Just Not Getting It

I agree with most others that I have never asked and never had a problem. I always have veggie options so anyone who needed halal food can eat those. I assume that if a child has an actual allergy then a) the parent will have drummed into them the importance of checking (my friend's 5 year old always asks if any biscuit or snack she is given has nuts in as she is allergic) and b) they would let me know.

Any child with a dietary requirement should know what they can or cannot eat. If they are not old enough to do that they are not old enough to be unsupervised by a parent.

The sugar thing is frankly ridiculous.

I run a kids club and one parent put down 'additives' on the list of stuff her child can't have. I presume she means e numbers, which is still being annoyingly precious but I felt like saying 'so nothing that is added to anything else then?'

For future reference do not ask, provide veggie as standard and only provide something specific like gf if someone actually asks you.

Halal, gluten-free, soy-free and vegetarians can all have the same meal.

Not every vegetarian thing is halal (eg wine), but the vast majority are.

The organic one is weird. Up to her what she feeds her kid at home, but that's not a diet you expect other people to accommodate.

I never ask. Those who genuinely have a need will come to you and often offer to make a pack up for the child. I always just state “party food included” people tend to know its crisps, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, cheese pizza, Jaffa cakes etc if we are doing a hot meal party I list the options the place provides and ask them to let me know in advance which option their child’s would like.

I do parties for 30+ kids every year for my DD. Ive only ever had one child dairy free (hes intolerant its not by choice). The first time his mum replied saying he cant have dairy but not to worry she would bring a packed lunch for him. I (politely) refused her kind offer and made him the same lunch box meal as every other child just with dairy free alternatives. Your dealing with some CFers expecting you to pay for it and deal with it! Obviously you would happily do it but its always polite of them to OFFER if youre being awkward with meals.

—fill the child full of brightly coloured sweets before they are collected—

So I always do meat free birthday party food, as it just makes things easier for the veggie/ Muslim kids. I also learnt early on not to do Jelly ( made that mistake one year). No one seems fussed about jelly sweets though.
Obviously never do nuts etc.

Organic food seems a bit much though.

I'd say my kids are halal but I'd only ask you don't give them meat they would have any thing you chuck at them you don't need to specialty cater

‘‘Tis taking the piss - and I say that as one who used to eat around 90% organic and still go for ‘low-input ‘ produce when I’ buying it myself .#

I have yet to experience the joys of organising a kids ‘ party, but have done the odd other thing that involved organising catering. I figured that anyone with medical needs/ under instruction from an invisible friend/ with particular ethics, would tell me themselves if it was burning enough and something that could be catered easily enough for. Otherwise, reasonable to assume either that the need/ preference wasn’t that strong, or conversely that it was something the attendee realised was way outside the norm and therefore they wouldn’t except to be provided.

#There is no medical rationale for eating organic. While there are environmental/ animal welfare arguments (and even those aren’t totally open-&-shut), organic makes no difference to the health of the individual.

I'd say I can't guarantee any of your requests, so if you'd like to send your child with their own food, they can eat that - or we're sorry they can't make it. Some people are so up themselves.

I'm talking about the organic/sugar free mum...not the other more reasonable requests!

AIBU to think that's a bit too much?

All food is organic, in that it is made from carbon based compounds. The only way you'd be feeding them inorganic food is if you gave them rocks or somesuch. YWBU to feed them rocks.

So give them the food you normally would and cheerfully tell her it's organic, because it is.

Lol I am with those who said why did you ask? Any parent with a genuine need will either flake to you or provide a meal plus your child will tend to know x isn't allowed meat or nuts or what ever it is. Also the food nazis are so 2016 they are bit late to that party the latest fad I find is to be completely dismissive of X Y X fad because Piers has the constitution of an ox or Penelope ate ants which is sooo paleo.

As I said earlier, just get those who want their child to eat organic, or NEED their child to be this or that free, or are veggie, vegan or halal, or coeliac to pack their child's lunchbox and leave them to it.

I would not in a million years take responsibility for any other child's food issues in my home. If they have them, they take their own.

(But they eat everything on the table anyway!) LOL.

All food is organic, in that it is made from carbon based compounds

Indeed. Just don't add any salt. Job done.

If it's for medical reasons

It can't be for medical reasons. There is no chemical difference between food marketed as 'organic' and food which isn't.

It’s my sons birthday party tomorrow, I am doing cheese and ham sandwiches, crisps, token fruit, and cake.
That’s it.

I wouldn't mention dietary needs in a party invitation. Provide a range of different foods, including vegetarian options (which in most cases will also be halal/kosher) and let children choose. Make sure jelly, ice-cream and cake are vegetarian. If a child has a genuine allergy/medical need I would expect them to let me know and I would be happy to accommodate them, or the parent can provide an alternative.

noitsachicken Don't forget the jelly and ice-cream

Gluten free pasta with home made dairy free pesto for everyone. Sorted.

So glad my children's classmates had more of the turkey twizzlers, huge bowls of crisps and lots of party ring biscuits type parties!

Fond memories of the party where the pinata wouldn't break, so the birthday girl's dad went and got his 'special' baseball bat from his car and let the kids bash it with that instead... And one where two mums got in a fight over their shared ex...

There is one child was has a nut allergy and everyone caters to that no problem. A few are halal, no problem at all. But requests for organic only would get short shrift from most parents I suspect! Makes me think of that Catherine Tate sports day sketch!

Halal and vegetarian are hardly surprising or unreasonable requests. I'm assuming there will be veggie food available, which will be halal by default.

Organic food is unreasonable. I would ask the mum to provide her own.

Since craxmum is crass enough to say
“But defiantly will outsource to a professional caterer now”
And
“Of course, I can afford organic ingredients”
On top of the nauseating ‘DS is a popular child’ and ‘animators, magician etc
then i will say a big fat yes , you are unreasonable simply for posting - you asked a question, the invitees mums responded to your request for dietary needs and you ( of course)have enough money to pay for everything so there’s NO fucking need for the thread!
Did you just want a Friday night Brag???

Are you Catherine Zeta Jones?

qwerty

The vegetarian mum may be from India and was simply explaining her culture to the OP.

Was she ‘explaining her culture’? The OP states she was telling the OP not to give her child eggs because eggs are ‘not vegetarian’. Not quite the same thing. And why the dig at me? Who do I think I’m not ‘equal’ with? The many vegetarians on MN who have helpfully pointed out to the OP that here in the UK eggs are considered vegetarian? I don’t understand what you mean. (Nothing to do with Friday night wine!)

No more kids parties. The party girl/boy is forgotten because the guests have priority food issues. OMG.