AIBU at this dietary request in RSVP?

[craxmum]

Hello everyone,

I sent a standard birthday invitation to my son's class (reception). RSVP by [today], state dietary needs etc. I am planning a great party (magician, animators etc), but for the first time am doing it so formally. DS is a popular child, after struggling with extreme shyness, and a lot of kids want to come.
I received today a reply from one mum stating "[Childs name] can have only organic products. Please no refined sugar either. Please check with me if in doubt".
I was already surprised by other requests - namely, halal, gluten free (x2), soy free and vegetarian (x2, one helpfully points out that eggs are not vegetarian). Happy to accommodate (but definitely will outsource to a professional caterer now).

AIBU to think that's a bit too much? Or is it normal? Of course, I can afford organic ingredients, it's not a money issue, but isn't it a little bit cheeky to ask for it?

I am so appreciative when people cater for my Coeliac daughter at parties. Yes I always offer to send food but we are so grateful when people cater for her. She’s 9. It’s pretty crap to always be the one who is different.
As for the rise of allergies being due to eating Monster Munch . DD was bf, we BLW and she ate a very balanced diet. Coeliac Disease is an autoimmune condition. I wish it was me just being faddy as she wouldn’t have to deal with this for the rest of her life (and pay £3+ for a loaf of pretty rank bread).

You asked them to state dietary needs and they did! Probably better to have not asked - then if there is a genuine allergy or frittata need you will be told. Do some vegetarian sandwiches, crudités, crisps, cake & fruit so everyone can have something.

*frittata, I mean dietary!!

Nice to hear that your coeliac child was catered for.

But honestly with a gang of kids and food everywhere there is no escape from cross contamination anyway.

I'd get in touch with these parents and say you can't cater for their child and several other children, because it would be impossible to afford the party

Absolutely agree. It's the only way to go.
My kids parties were always fun and with no side issues.
I've done 30+ kiddies parties, and nobody has ever approached me with what their kids can and cannot eat. Apart from the child mentioned in a pp who was a bona fide diagnosed coeliac.

Multiple and onerous side issues would have stopped me organising them at all. I'm having a party for my little 'un. I don't want to get involved with the health and safety, and the likes and dislikes of the
guests, and what the kids prefer, and what their parents would like to have them eat. That would make it a very dull and complicated event.

I'd have just picked a few of her friends who wouldn't present with unusual and threatening pseudo medical issues, allergies, pickiness, and parental neurosis that seems to be prevalent nowadays.

Fortunately, 20 years ago, this happened rarely, but if a child had genuine issues we would go out of our way to make a birthday party fully accessible and go out of our way on genuine dietary issues.
Even had a child in a wheelchair who joined in the egg and spoon race by me pushing her. We came third.

I have a SN, non-verbal, epileptic, hyperactive and uncontrollably mobile dd and have looked after her for 30 years.

Your child needs organic food? Fuck off. (Unless it's life threatening. Which it probably isn't)

The standard here for parties is pizza ordered in (cheese and tomato), garlic bread and some token vegetable sticks. You can get gluten free pizza from the pizza place. Jobs a good un. None of the kids touch much food apart from cake anyway - too busy going beserk. The organic sugar free request is cheeky as not a dietary requirement just a preference. I'd tell them to bring their own then laugh as Jemima goes beserk when she sneaks all the proper party food. Or go with donquixote's suggestion .

She’s never been glutened at a party, regardless of who provided the food. Most coeliacs themselves are ultra careful and aware of cross contamination everywhere b

Gosh, there is no possibility she is joking is there? Or maybe you are (hopes). I would e-mail back that the menu is tesco basics chicken nuggets followed by Krispy Kremes and you are sure that will be ok.

Party rings are vegan, btw!

You'd be surprised at what's vegan. Bisto gravy granules are vegan.

Well if you do want to oblige and you're using a professional caterer can you just use one that uses organic produce? There are some that do though more pricey.

I'm pretty comfortably off myself, but gobsmacked at people thinking there's a fair chance you'll be using a professional caterers. This is far more likely to be a sandwiches and sausage rolls type meal, thrown together by the OP.

Just send your kids over to those who expect special treatment from you.

I'm guessing (apart from genuine allergies) that they eat shit all the time.

It can be a game of so called superiority, where the majority of us just raise our eyes and say FK that, really?

Anyone with a genuine allergy/intolerance or veggie/halal would contact you anyway about it. DS had food allergies when he was younger, I usually remembered at the last minute always let people know about his allergy but made it clear I didn't expect them to cater for it and said we would take cake for him but people were generally very kind and provided something special for him.

I'd blythly lie about organic unrefined sugar though. Proper allergies and halal/vegetarian/vegan absolutely fine but that?

Lol @ anathemapulsifer the op clearly stated that they would definitely outsource to a professional caterer in their original post, hence my comment! My point was that if she's outsourcing the work anyway just pass the over the top requests on to the caterers to deal with. Or say no can do. She did ask. What's the drama?

Just serve water. Let everyone bring their own. Tongue in cheek here obv.

You could be sued otherwise if heaven forbid a child had a reaction, or didn't realise it was not organic or whatever. lol.

One of mine has awkward dietary requirements. I tell always tell the parent so we don’t look awkward or fussy on the day but also say I’ll bring my own food for him.

Good on you EatRepeat. That is the right answer.

This is a kids party. They won't starve if they only have a bread stick or quarter of hard boiled egg. FFS

Amen

I'd have never given my kids any birthday parties if we'd had all this malarkey in the 80s. All these food allergies and intolerancies are a very new thing. As a small child, I used to get very swollen, itchy, and tingly lips when I ate apples or pears. These fruits made my mouth very sore. Pears were few and far between because they were expensive and a bit of a treat and fruit was, I think, still on ration. Not generally available. It made the inside of my mouth really sore. My cousin who is a GP told me to eat more of them more often and it would increase my tolerance. Tolerate it for a while and then your body will eventually settle down with it, and accept it as a nutrient.

I did, and it did. I now eat apples and pears profligately, with not a care or a red wheal within my mouth.
Apples and pears only make your mouth sore if you are not accustomed to eating them.

Nowadays, if apples and pears make a child's lips tickle, the parents would be writing to all and sundry telling them that their child must not be allowed to eat an apple. Or a pear. Not ever. Not never ever.

This world has lost its basic common sense.

As this is primarily a UK based site I thought the link from the Vegetarian Society might be useful. If you see a V tick symbol and now a Vegan symbol in a restaurant or a supermarket it has been approved by this organisation. www.vegsoc.org/definition

Unsalaried - dangerous advice, DH has a nut allergy that gets more severe every time he's in contact with them.

Tingle and slight swelling 10 years ago is now closed throat and ambulance (not purposely had contact).

Lol

You need that other thread about the most middle class first world problems!

Next time don’t ask. Those with real dietary needs will let you know with RSVP and offer to bring own. ( we have severe allergies and always bring our own) Then u can decide if u can cater or not

Di11Y. Agree completely. Very old fashioned view that would kill my child if I tried it......

I always took my own for dc1. Nut & wheat allergy but not coeliac. Was always safer.

Unsalaried - dangerous advice, DH has a nut allergy that gets more severe every time he's in contact with them

That's a very different thing Di11y

This was 50 years ago when fruit was a new thing. And people weren't used to it. And the juice was unusually stinging.

A nut allergy is another thing altogether, which I fully understand can be life threatening. My next door neighbour has a wasp sting thing going on and I've had to stab her with her pencil thing a couple of times. (Forgive that I don't know what the pencil thing is actually called)

I'm talking about sensitivities. Not allergies. But I still have to observe that these allergies were virtually unknown 50 years ago. What's driving them?

Halal and veggie- give both veggie. All good.
If celiac then obv gluten free.
Organic and no sugar at a party? Ridiculous!