AIBU at this dietary request in RSVP?

[craxmum]

Hello everyone,

I sent a standard birthday invitation to my son's class (reception). RSVP by [today], state dietary needs etc. I am planning a great party (magician, animators etc), but for the first time am doing it so formally. DS is a popular child, after struggling with extreme shyness, and a lot of kids want to come.
I received today a reply from one mum stating "[Childs name] can have only organic products. Please no refined sugar either. Please check with me if in doubt".
I was already surprised by other requests - namely, halal, gluten free (x2), soy free and vegetarian (x2, one helpfully points out that eggs are not vegetarian). Happy to accommodate (but definitely will outsource to a professional caterer now).

AIBU to think that's a bit too much? Or is it normal? Of course, I can afford organic ingredients, it's not a money issue, but isn't it a little bit cheeky to ask for it?

craxmum
I am not aware of a similar rule in Islam. I am not muslim but my DH and children are. He and his friends and family happily eat food I have prepared so I don't think there is an issue. DH will eat a fish burger in McDonalds so I don't think he is too bothered

peach fuzz?
The email fight sounds like good value.

Peach fuzz fibers apparently can lodge themselves in the intestinal walls and cause long standing lesions and potential development of malignancies. A bit like asbestos then.
(According to an online source the mum quotes, please don't think it comes from me)

Bastard peach fuzz fibres. I knew it. Bet they are responsible for everything.

Demonising peaches is surely what you do when your orthorexia is out of control and you’ve eliminated pretty much everything else from your diet.

Peach Fuzz! It’s like the name of a band. Teenagers in a garage type band.

Wow - I'd feel glad this woman has pulled out because if her child is as insufferable as she is it would probably ruin the party.

I would go for gluten free veggie pizza,gluten free crisps.crudites with hummus.Big bowl of large strawberries ,sweets skittles and smarties and a gluten free cake(buy one).They never eat much except crisps,sweets and strawberries(the very big ones or the smaller slightly misshapen as they then fall about thinking they look like bottoms etc)

Holy fuck. I'd be cancelling the party and making up some bullshit as to why. eg venue double booked

and then i'd arrange a different party and only invite those whose parents had not been total assholes. No "only organic food please" kids, Yes "child is allergic to nuts" can come.

I can't stop laughing at the ridiculousness of these parents.

PFB?

Reality will really bite them on the ass in the next few years...

I have often observed that the poor kids raised on dust and organic spring water invariably go on to be teens with the obscene sugar addictions.

Certain parents very much want to set themselves (and their hapless kids) apart as being special and unique. Touting ridiculous food preferences, or supposed intolerances, or 'beliefs' become their USP. Except no one is remotely interested in buying into what they're 'selling' because these parents are invariably dour and humourless.

As a parent you have no right to inflict your various uptight issues and social inadequacies on your children. Stop insisting they only eat organic dust and have a passion for handloom weaving, and at least give them a fighting chance of being normal and fitting in.

I once had a very smug dad I work with tell me that his teenagers had never eaten McDonalds. All I could think was - you mean your teenagers have told you they have never eaten in McDonalds.

The thing is, the party tea is often in additional to the main meals of the day anyway (e.g. it's a 3pm, it's neither lunch nor evening meal) and it's usually pretty light. We've never asked and were shocked when 2 kids told us at DS's last party that they didn't eat pizza (one of them had his party at Pizza Express, not sure what's going on there), neither would they eat the chicken goujons. We put some wotsits in a ball and left them to it.

in a bowl that should be, not in a ball, like you would with cat treats to keep them occupied for longer.

@craxmum the term halal tends to refer to the slaughter process rather than the ideas of kosher and treifah food in Judaism.
The only reason I can think of why your friend acted in that way is probably because she couldn't guarantee you had prepared the food in an orthodox way. For example many Jewish homes have a dairy kitchen and a meat kitchen because of the rule in Leviticus about not boiling goats meat in the mother's milk ... this is taken to mean that meat and dairy cannot be mixed e.g lasagne and cheesy pepperoni pizza is right out! You would also not be able to have dairy and meat on the same menu eg roast lamb followed by apple crumble and custard.

separating your child from other children by forcing your beleifs on them is wrong IMHO, but if a parent is aghast to have their children interact only with their own kind and thus refrain them from experiences will see their children seek these experiences 5-10 years later, its just normal

insisting you are different and installing this belief in your child will lead only problems later

I would be more happy if the parents will take care of their children´s emotional needs rather than their nutrition (and rather than their own attention-seeking pretentiousness)

but it makes sense some parents who are unfulfilled in other ways would force their children to do as they do and not give them a chance to choose, the parents´ fragile ego needs to be feeded at all costs..

As I said, I only pity the poor children who are controlled by an ego freak attention seeking parent, and the result is they cant enjoy the party, because everybody will talking about it at home and the children will pick up (they always do) on this vibe and the poor innocent child comes to the party and may be ridiculed.... some parents are just nuts to put their children in a position like this

no need to punish them because of their insane parents

Halal and vegetarian are easy and soy free isn't too bad (they could probably have the same vegetarian option).

Watch out for the person who is gluten free and you may want to speak to their parents to see how bad it is - are the parents just faddy about not eating bread or are they celiac. If the first it is not a problem, but if they can't have any gluten it is very difficult to prevent cross-contamination so I would suggest they bring a packed lunch just in case.

How much sugar the child eats is down to the parents and, depending on their age, the child, so have some healthy options (veg sticks) and if the child eats sugar they do. I would only care about sugar for a guest if they were knowingly diabetic.

If you are going to use caterers, I would just tell the parents that you can't guarantee all of the ingredients are organic so they are welcome to send a packed lunch (say that even if you cater if yourself). There is no dietary need there so do not cater for it if you don't want to.

We’re all vegetarian. I buy a lot of organic produce, and avoid sugar. My daughter is dairy free (not for health reasons) I would always let a hosting parent know about the vegetarian thing, and offer to provide food. My daughter knows that she has to just go without stuff like cake or cheese. I would never ever mention anything about sugar or organic. Maybe best to ask specifically “Let me know if your child has any food allergies” and leave it at that. I’d not be catering all organic or refined sugar free, no way.

Tbh I'd have put on the invite about allergies but anything else then they can eat it or not their choice.

My friend works in school catering. She is amazed how many children, who live in more affluent areas,,have dietary requirements compared to those who live in socially deprived areas.
I think she's right. I studied nutrition and if I could do another thesis it would be investigating the link between dietary needs and economic status in children!

Oooh that would make a really interesting study 🤔

Rookie mistake, OP - should have asked about food ALLERGIES :)

In all seriousness, though - organic is NOT a dietary requirement - it's a preference, and one you shouldn't feel obliged to cater for...

Actually it’s best never to ask about dietary issues. People who have allergies or medical issues will usually let you know anyway (and offer to provide food). And generally you’d provide some vegetarian options as standard: cheese/jam sandwiches etc (well most people I know do).

Asking only invites total nonsense like this.

My daughter's had wedding RSVP's requesting low carb. Surely one meal isn't going to harm them, there's nothing wrong with them they're just fussy eaters.