AIBU at this dietary request in RSVP?

[craxmum]

Hello everyone,

I sent a standard birthday invitation to my son's class (reception). RSVP by [today], state dietary needs etc. I am planning a great party (magician, animators etc), but for the first time am doing it so formally. DS is a popular child, after struggling with extreme shyness, and a lot of kids want to come.
I received today a reply from one mum stating "[Childs name] can have only organic products. Please no refined sugar either. Please check with me if in doubt".
I was already surprised by other requests - namely, halal, gluten free (x2), soy free and vegetarian (x2, one helpfully points out that eggs are not vegetarian). Happy to accommodate (but definitely will outsource to a professional caterer now).

AIBU to think that's a bit too much? Or is it normal? Of course, I can afford organic ingredients, it's not a money issue, but isn't it a little bit cheeky to ask for it?

An ex-vegan you mean you followed a vegan diet and gave it up???

I am gonna leave this here because it is clear that this is a non conversation!

TotallyChorkie Yes. Or are people unable to change their minds in your narrow world view. ffs

In UK law it is defined as a belief.

IMO the law trumps any rubbish that you decided to pull from google!

It is a belief.....AND...A.....DIET.

It is BOTH at once.

Do you understand now? It CAN be both at the same time. Clearly you are fixated on meanings, but the fact is it is considered BOTH a diet AND a way of life. Is that ok with you? fmd!

One of my children has a friend who is only allowed unrefined sugar and organic food at home. He is like a starving person when he comes round here, cramming brownies into his mouth at speed. Poor kid.

Those other mums sound utterly batshit. Glad I don't live in London!

Ffs even Peta refer to it as a diet. For Christ sake! Even the NHS does. All this because one person cannot cope with the fact that it can be a belief and a diet, at the same time.

Partly why I stopped being vegan. The lack of nutrients can make you nutty, obsessive and impervious to reason.

Better tell the NHS that it is not a 'diet': www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/the-vegan-diet/

Why are you trying to Sing to the converted! I am not sure I really understand why but whatever the football is on and I am bored.

So you wanna get into the nutrients thing? Really? Are you sure you followed a vegan diet? What nutrients could you possibly miss?

And PETA: "A vegan diet is as good for humans’ health as it is for animal welfare."
www.peta.org/issues/animals-used-for-food/animals-used-food-factsheets/vegan-diets-healthy-humane/

TotallyChorkie how am I singing to the converted? You have said that veganism isn't a diet. I proved to you that it is. You are clearly very confused.

No I have said it is not “just” a diet but a whole belief system and I said this in response to someone asking why it was included in the equality act! Jeez it goes without saying that you need to follow a vegan diet if you identify as vegan - that is a non debate!

I stated on the last page that it was a BELIEF as well as a diet. You still kept going, and attacking me for some imagined slight I never said. I never said it was only a diet. It is clear now that you have simply skimmed my posts and never actually bothered to read what I said. Because if you understood, you would have stopped a page ago.

Crax send a link to an article about orthorexia and disordered eating to the whole email group, saying something like “I’m just going to leave this here in case anyone needs it” Head tilt, tinkly laugh.

That’ll put the cat amongst the pigeons..

LapsedHumanist that would be a great idea.

So what was your problem over for the next two posts? You lack comprehension and concentration

No I just refuse to debate my beliefs with google

The most popular things IME tend to be carrot sticks, cherry tomatoes, grapes, cucumber wedges, mini sausages - so you could buy organic of all of those.

This ear seems completely innocent and not like it would consider hopping out the salad drawer to maim you in the middle of the night with a yellow pepper as a side kick.

"Plus, if you serve party food to children, how the hell do you tell them they can't have the nice stuff, just because 'Mummy has issues'."

exactly

they mums should state the dietary NEEDS not dietary PREFERENCES

next time maybe say on the invite if there is anybody allergic to something
I would not take into consideration anything else than a health condition
everybody else can eat cucumber all day :)

on the other hand, its true that the child will be punished if not catered for because of their pretentious mothers

How on earth do you monitor who is eating what anyway?

I can't think of any party where a parent has been specifically charged with patrolling the party table looking for transgressors eating the "wrong" food.

In any case, taking a lot of trouble over a party tea is a waste of time. It needs to look appealing, but the kids are really far too hyped up to pass considered opinions on the fare. So the only reason for busting a gut is to impress po-faced parents. The nice parents will just be appreciative that you are hosting a party.

I'm surprised by how many posters are surprised by these requests.

In our nurseries it is quite normal to have separate tables for children according to dietary needs - vegetarian, "pure" vegetarian, and allergies (coeliac, egg, nut etc)

A nursery (where the parents are paying for a service) is a very different situation to a birthday party though.

I have no problem with asking DS2’s school and childcare provider to provide GF meals. I pay for the service (and neither would want DS2 to feel excluded - his school cook is amazingly helpful). But if someone invites him to a party or round to their house for tea, then I’ll (offer to) provide food for him.

I certainly wouldn’t start specifying frivolous nonsense like no refined sugar. Apart from anything else, when your child cannot eat a big chunk of normal foods for health reasons, you really lose any desire to unnecessarily restrict their diet any further. Or, at least, I do.

Ds’s best friend is Muslim and they have been best friends since they were five. His dm mentioned when they first teamed up that they didn’t eat pork. No other fuss.

Reminds me of the first time we had DD's muslim friend over for tea after school and she burst through the door shouting "Mum says I'm not allowed to eat a pig!"

Sorry for an idiotic question. If a non-Muslim (an atheist, to be more precise) prepares something from halal ingredients, is it considered halal? Say, grills sausages from the halal butchery? I know that for some foods (like bread and meat) it won't be kosher for those who follow certain practices of Judaism.
I admit that my relationship with the Jewish friend I mentioned earlier has cooled down significantly after she became more religious and food prepared/touched by me was not ok for her anymore. Not because the ingredients were wrong, but because I was "wrong".
I genuinely don't want to offend anyone, just interested.