To think owning a home isn’t the only goal in life

[Bonjourmonami73]

Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to own my own home but I am priced out of the market and it’s not looking like I will own any time soon. I could move to a cheap area where I don’t know a soul but I don’t want to. I have a great flexible job, 2 happy kids in a nice school, lots of friends, a social life, holidays etc. I just can’t afford a house as Would need £100k at least deposit.

Someone said to me yesterday that they don’t understand how I can ‘bear’ to live like this and that I should be doing everything I can including moving to a town 200 miles away to get on the housing ladder. I dont understand this logic at all. I would rather own my own home of course but I don’t have a deposit.

The other thing that this person said is ‘what will you do when you are older’ and the truth is I don’t have the answer. Maybe move somewhere cheaper then when my kids are grown up.

Aibu to feel like this? I am a bit tired of being asked why I can’t buy a house. I have actually privately rented this house for 7 years and can have it for at least another 2. Yes I know it’s ‘dead money’ but there isn’t anything I can’t do about that as I can’t save £100k for a deposit.

I feel judged constantly for renting- the person yesterday basically implied I had totally failed in my life.

Aibu?

I don't think, in principle, that home ownership should be a goal. If we were back in the times of mass social housing, or in Europe where you get 11 year rental contracts and a nice place for a few hundred euros, I wouldn't buy.

But I think, considering the situation in the UK, it is a sensible decision, especially if you have kids.

I second the suggestions to buy whatever you can anywhere and rent it out to cover the mortgage. I have friends in London who have brought in the north west/ scotland. At least it means you can have extra income when you retire to cover rent, and some capital to leave to your kids. Your salary is more than enough to get a buy to let I think.

I'm a lone parent on a tiny self employed income and am hopefully (!) getting a mortgage in cheaper area of the country so its doable.

There's no way I'd count on housing benefit in retirement now, what with welfare reforms and brexit effects ect. They're only going to decrease it, and find ways to not pay, and bring in conditionalities - even for pensioners.

Owning in London is cheaper than renting which is crazy. Our mortgage Z3, 2 bed EOT is £660, bought 7 years ago. To rent this house would be £1100. So even with maintainance factored in it's still cheaper to own and we've paid off 25% of the loan.

Totally understand where you're coming from op. We are saving for a deposit but its going to take a while as we've not long been in a position to save.

I find it astounding that there are people who don't understand that this isn't a lifestyle choice, of course we'd love to be homeowners but the reality of the situation is we're doing the absolute best with what we've got. Yes, there are really people out there who don't have parents to live with or who can front us a deposit, no inheritance or trust fund, and had to start out scraping along in low paid work just keeping a (high rent) roof over our heads.

I think if you can borrow money and you do have a deposit it’s probbaly sensible to buy somewhere cheap and rent it out. The reason being it’s really hard to keep up with house prices increases in cash, and I would be worried about paying rent in old age. But if you can’t buy anything then it is what it is

But it’s certainly nothing like the most important thing in life!

Isn't owning usualy cheaper than renting? We bought ages ago and one of the driving forces was that our mortgage was £180 pm for a house that would have cost £300-350 pm to rent.

Big difference was that our 5% deposit plus fees amounted to about £2k, but it still took us a year to save that much.

You can't equate a childhood in a council house with the realities of private renting. Councils couldn't give you 2 months notice to leave or decide that they're selling their property leaving you the options of fucking off or staying to see what the new landlord will be like.

I am happy renting. I think it's sad people see it as dead money; I would pay more for a mortgage in my area that could go up. If my rent goes up, they would give me notice and we could find somewhere else. Done. If a mortgage rate inflated we would potentially lose our home and be no better off. A mortgage you are basically paying rent anyway. Sure it would be nice to own my own place. We could afford to buy a decent house near my parents. We would get help with childcare. But at we would have to sacrifice a much better quality of life. Maybe when we have more DC...

I’m mid 40s and been mortgage free for a few years. In my 20s, newly mortgaged I starved at times to pay the bills. All this “it’s ok to rent OP” is bullshit. Make an effort and look for a job in an affordable area and then go for buying

So you bought at a time when houses were much more affordable and now think you can relate to the current market?
30 years ago the average salary was 17k, my dad bought a house for 17k in london. Now the average salary is 27k, go figure.

I agree Queen, some people can't see further than the end of their noses .

It's so not black and white. And if you're happy who cares, although yes, provisions for your future are essential, whatever form they come in.

I have a friend who bought a house young, because 'that's what you do'. Had a decent job but struggled, missed out on his early twenties, could never afford to even come out for a drink or put petrol in for a day out, has been single forever , I am sure a contributing factor was just never having money to do anything. When he lost his job and/or had house repairs to pay for he got behind with mortgage payments. Hes had a tough time due to that house and Its not a big fancy thing, It's a nice but normal two up two down type.
We're in our mid thirties now and he's decided to sell and move back in with his parents. I feel sad for him, but I am also happy that we might get to see him on occasion now!

I was very lucky, I met my ex and bought half the house they owned, and now the mortgage is very low, and I've been able to buy a second one with a business partner-I borrowed money from them to do it, it was all solely down to luck and when I got some money from a relative's death I paid them back. Had I not had that set of circumstances I wouldn't own. BUT it also means if you did want to own, thinking outside the box may help. I also had two ex colleagues who, when one was struggling with their mortgage, the other bought half. They've since released equity and are both in better positions.

To me, my rent money isn't "dead" money. It goes back to my HA so they can maintain the properties they do have (although they don't do that to a great standard!) and hopefully build more. I think that's actually less "selfish" than me buying it at a discount and taking yet another house away from the SH pool. Plus they'll get it back when I die and they'll be able to give it to another family so its a win/win. So yep, if I have to claim a few years of HB I won't feel bad.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone for buying at a discount. But the more people who buy houses (SH or not) the more house prices increase and on it goes. Ultimately everyone, be they buyers or renters, puts their own family first. No one is being "noble" by either buying or renting.

I completely agree that owning a house isn't the only goal in life, and home ownership is a really difficult thing right now.

Could you look into shared ownership houses? That's how we got our foot on the ladder 7 years ago.

I do think everyone (house owner or not) should put some thought into how they plan to pay for their living expenses in later life though. At the moment I think we're facing a ticking time bomb of people in their 20s/30s/40s being unable to afford to buy homes, and then in their 60's wanting (or needing) to retire, and having not enough funds to live on.

I agree with pp who say that you should consider buying somewhere that you can afford as a buy to let in a cheaper area.

Honestly OP I completely agree.

We have our own house but it's a constant worry upkeeping it, mowing the lawn, paying for maintenance, new windows etc etc.

I absolutely insisted with DH that we buy a house but now I'm not really sure why tbh.

As long as you have plans for retirement /pension, which you say you do, I wouldn't worry what other people say!

Home owning is overrated.

I think it used to be dead money - nowadays, not so much.

A few people have suggested buying a house in another part of the country, somewhere cheaper like the north of England or Scotland And renting it out to provide an income and to have the security of ownership even if you never intend to live there.

Talk about being part of the problem! You can't afford to buy in your own affluent area so you encourage buying up property in poorer areas so you can profit of the back of people even less well off than you!

Do you not see that by doing that your only making the problem worse and denying the chance for someone from that area to have the chance to own that home. If you want to go and live in those areas, make a home there then fine but anyone doing it purely for financial gain should be ashamed of themselves.

I agree with pp who say that you should consider buying somewhere that you can afford as a buy to let in a cheaper area

Only if there is profit to be made with rental income vs mortgage cost. Also, the OP isn't far off the 40% tax bracket, so she could pay quite a lot of tax on the rental income. There's also the hassle with finding tenants and managing the property. And it will mean she has to pay extra stamp duty if she does manage to buy her own home while she owns the rental property and ownership of the BTL may exclude her from some FTB schemes that could be otherwise advantageous.

BTL isn't the cash cow it used to be, as most of the profit came from rising house prices and offsetting mortgage costs against tax and I'm not sure it could be worth it for the OP now.

Storm you are being naive. Euthanasia is illegal in this country. If your children "help you" die they could be prosecuted. I am seeing this happening.

Not to make a massive profit off buy to let, but just rent enough so that it covers the mortgage and expenses so in 20 years, OP will own a house. But yes, if she's almost an upper rate taxpayer she should be careful.

Yes, landlords aren't nice, and in an ideal world, there would be majority social housing, but there we go.

@halfwitpicker I do sort of agree with what you’re saying, but even if someone has a pension pot etc, how will they continue to pay rent each month until the day they die? And what if their partner died and they then had to pay the rent themselves in their 90s? At least with a mortgage it should be paid off by retirement. Having to use a pension to pay rent would be very stressful

@Kerala1

I said they knew about it!! Not that they would help me!!! I would never in a million years put them in that position! Maybe I should have made that clear, but I can manage to do it alone, because I'll do it while I'm still able.

Yes, there are occasional circumstances where that isn't possible like a PP mentioned, but generally most people could if they wanted to.

True, frosty.

It'd be a constant worry. You'd have to save loads - and obviously you can't really predict how much you'll actually need to pay the rent for i.e. how long will I live?! At least when a house is paid for, it's yours.

Obviously too there will be people (naively maybe) relying on inheriting a house, but that doesn't always happen as predicted/expected.

FWIW I don't live in London, or even the UK, we live abroad where houses are substantially cheaper. Still expensive to upkeep a home, though.

To a degree you can choose where you live with SH, as you can exchange. I did a series of exchanges with my final one being a 4 way swap! (that wasn't easy!) but got to the place where I wanted to be. I actually got curious reading this thread and looked on right move and a similar property in my street (my street is mostly private) and paying a 10% deposit the mortgage payments are £3500 p/m. I can tell you my rent is substantially cheaper than that! I'd be an idiot to give this up!