To think owning a home isn’t the only goal in life

[Bonjourmonami73]

Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to own my own home but I am priced out of the market and it’s not looking like I will own any time soon. I could move to a cheap area where I don’t know a soul but I don’t want to. I have a great flexible job, 2 happy kids in a nice school, lots of friends, a social life, holidays etc. I just can’t afford a house as Would need £100k at least deposit.

Someone said to me yesterday that they don’t understand how I can ‘bear’ to live like this and that I should be doing everything I can including moving to a town 200 miles away to get on the housing ladder. I dont understand this logic at all. I would rather own my own home of course but I don’t have a deposit.

The other thing that this person said is ‘what will you do when you are older’ and the truth is I don’t have the answer. Maybe move somewhere cheaper then when my kids are grown up.

Aibu to feel like this? I am a bit tired of being asked why I can’t buy a house. I have actually privately rented this house for 7 years and can have it for at least another 2. Yes I know it’s ‘dead money’ but there isn’t anything I can’t do about that as I can’t save £100k for a deposit.

I feel judged constantly for renting- the person yesterday basically implied I had totally failed in my life.

Aibu?

Problem is the state will be paying for those lifestyle choices when those people retire.

Problem is the state will be paying for those lifestyle choices when those people retire.

How do you know what her pension plan is? OP is paying into the system via her taxes and has every right to spend her remaining money however she chooses. A house isn't a retirement plan. Why should OP have to uproot her entire family because house prices are so high in certain regions of the country.

We own our own house, we pay about £350 for the mortgage and to rent the same type of property in the same street it is £500 - £700 pcm. Its not an expensive house, its ex-council but its nice and spacious, well located and lots of greenery. We might move in the future but we don't have to and we have a good standard of living and savings on the money left over. For us its not about owning a home to show off about or a fancy car (we have a 10 year old run around) it was just what made the most sense financially, we could afford the smallish deposit so we bought.

I know another couple who bought the most expensive house the could afford and they are really struggling financially, but they really wanted a semi detatched with a garage. Another couple rent in the fanciest part of town and won't buy because they stand to inherit £300,000 between them when their elderly parents die so they will buy then, they talk very openly about this.

I agree that buying a house isn't the be all and end all, but its a nice feeling of security however modest it is, after all its your home.

She's not "bothered" Ariela , she's just sharing her thoughts and opinions and experiences, including feeling judged as a failure for not owning her own home outright (I also get that). If she didn't share anything, there wouldn't be a Mumsnet.

Or any openings to discuss topics - like you just have!

@theleftparing maybe you would like to make some suggestions to fix the housing market then?

I have saved £20k off my own back and out of my after tax income but house price increases meant I couldn’t keep up and now I am priced up. I have had financial advice, had a mortgage ageeed and even once offered on a house but got out bid.

I can’t but a house where I live and where my life is because I am priced out and that’s it.

I’d move or buy something cheaper just to get started.

I’m sorry, but I really wouldn’t rent forever if there was any way you could buy something. The thought of moving constantly (you don’t know how much longer you will have your current house - this in itself is a major insecurity) and the thought of renting (and possibly moving on every 6-12 months) as an OAP really, absolutely, is a horrid prospect.

Ive already suggested buying something the OP can afford. Not rocket science.

It's fine. Lots of people rent. But I would be planning something for retirement like putting more into a pension. Or I suppose buying your retirement home and renting it out till you need it. That sounds risky to me but I know someone that's done that.

Just joining in to blame Thatcher. I was very lucky, I got on to the first step of the housing ladder when I was in my early thirties, 30 years ago, with an interest-free loan for the deposit from my parents and a slight - ahem - exaggeration of my annual salary by my lovely boss. I furnished the place with what the previous tenant was kind enough to leave, and orange boxes, for the first year or so. But had I not had that help from my parents and my employers, I would have had to flat share in an expensive, grotty London rental for good few years more. I repeat, I was very lucky and not everyone is/has been that lucky. It's not as simple as save hard and get your deposit together, not everyone earns enough to pay rent and live a normal life and save for a deposit, particularly in this day and age.
There has long been this thing about "An Englishman's home is his castle", which implies you are a failure if you don't own your own place, be it ever so humble. I disagree, but think the whole rental market is ridiculous and the lack of social housing and the shame visited upon people who can't afford the deposit to buy a house is outrageous. My only fear is for your future, OP, where will you, and others in private rentals, live once you have retired, unless you have a really good pension, which I hope for everyone's sake they do? So at the risk of being offensive to some (and I understand why), I would suggest, as others have done, that you use what money you have now to buy somewhere else in the country and if possible, let it out at a rate which will more than cover your mortgage repayments, but which won't break your tenant's bank, so that you will have a roof over your head when you retire. It is not your fault that you can't afford to buy where your work is.

Also I can see the investment argument as properties within next 15y will go up in prices and many people treats house as an additional retirement option.

Or properties in the next 15 years could go down in price. I am old enough to remember how friends of mine bot burned in the property crash of the early 90s. It was right after a ridiculous property frenzy just like the present one. It took 10 years for prices to go back up to where they were.

Paying a lot of interest is dead money too, but at at least you are in charge of when you move. Having an asset is not much use if you will be homeless to realise it.
Conversely you will end up rent free and pension will be all yours, or buy interest only, cheaper than renting. Factor in repairs and insurance.
Home owning is a British obsession, many Europeans live in rented, but is cheaper and more secure. We had a lodger in first house to make ends meet. Do what suits you, never mind the snobbery.

Rental culture is on the up - my family live in Australia and it is perfectly normal to rent and move a lot

who paid off their mortgage eons ago have to spend tens of tnousands with upkeep of their 70's 4 bed detached

Why did they have to do this? Did they not manage the property appropriately over the years? Why did they not downsize and release equity? What did they have to do that cost them so much?

Sorry your post is unusual.

OP, you mentioned you are expecting an inheritance. Don't be lulled into a sense of security thinking that means you will be taken care of when you're old - you can't rely on other people for your security - wills can change and people might also need money for carehomes and don't have as much to leave as expected.
Owning your own home (or being in a council home) is essential for security in old age. I live in an expensive area too, and saved for years before I was able to buy a little flat. It I were you, I would buy a flat and rent it out while you continue renting. Then when your kids have flown the nest, you can move into the flat.

I would agree. If you've 20k saved up, buy in an area you can afford, but one with demand, rent it out, take your profit, watch it escalate in value long term, stay renting where you are.

I can’t but a house where I live and where my life is because I am priced out and that’s it

So? You can definitely buy though. Pick your area. Go for it.

I do think it's an important goal and one I would want my children to have.

We worked hard and saved hard pre children to ensure they had a stable base always.

Renting is too much a waste of money, it's temporary house to house and you can't ever call it home because it's not yours.

I'd have moved pre children to an area I could afford if I couldn't where I currently was.

BoxesAndPopcorn - "I'd have moved pre children to an area I could afford if I couldn't where I currently was." That's easy for you to say, but not necessarily that easy to action - if you move to an area where it's cheaper to buy, salaries might be appreciably lower, or jobs in your sector unavailable, so it's not as simple as you make it out to be.

Really feckless advice about relying on income from another property. With uc people are not being able to afford rent and being told by councils to stay put until they receive an eviction notice, at the lost of the landlord having to take the tenants to court! I wouldn't be comfortable either making money out of people poorer than me. It's that I'm alright jack mentality that's made this country the way it is.

It’s not feckless, most renters aren’t on housing benefit

People keep saying about housing benefit, but that actually won't exist in a couple of years as it will be Universal Credit instead, with it's requirements and sanctions. I don't think it looks at age either, wouldn;t fancy dealing with that in years before retirement.

If you research it very thoroughly and carefully, and buy something at the bottom end of your budget and rent out through a management company, and insure for lost rental income to cover your mortgage payments, you should be all right. www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/mortgageshome/article-1596759/Ten-tips-buy-let.html

@boxsetdandpopcorn what if that meant going from a career you've worked hard for yo having to take an unskilled job because of lack of employment opportunities? A lower salary means that cheaper area might still be too expensive. It might mean having to move well away from family and support meaning someone has to spend extra on childcare. It's pretty naive to think you can just move

It doesn’t really matter whether it’s HB or UC, either way it’s benefits contributing to your rent.