To think owning a home isn’t the only goal in life

[Bonjourmonami73]

Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to own my own home but I am priced out of the market and it’s not looking like I will own any time soon. I could move to a cheap area where I don’t know a soul but I don’t want to. I have a great flexible job, 2 happy kids in a nice school, lots of friends, a social life, holidays etc. I just can’t afford a house as Would need £100k at least deposit.

Someone said to me yesterday that they don’t understand how I can ‘bear’ to live like this and that I should be doing everything I can including moving to a town 200 miles away to get on the housing ladder. I dont understand this logic at all. I would rather own my own home of course but I don’t have a deposit.

The other thing that this person said is ‘what will you do when you are older’ and the truth is I don’t have the answer. Maybe move somewhere cheaper then when my kids are grown up.

Aibu to feel like this? I am a bit tired of being asked why I can’t buy a house. I have actually privately rented this house for 7 years and can have it for at least another 2. Yes I know it’s ‘dead money’ but there isn’t anything I can’t do about that as I can’t save £100k for a deposit.

I feel judged constantly for renting- the person yesterday basically implied I had totally failed in my life.

Aibu?

It's not entirely true that 'everyone' rents in Germany. It's about half, I think. But what is true is that it is a much more viable option, in terms of rights, protections and permanency (almost all rental contracts are time-unlimited and a landlord needs one of a limited number of demonstrable and demonstrated reasons in orde to end the contract). There's also no concept of the 'property ladder'. People tend to buy for life, as evidenced by the large number of people who buy a plot of land and build (or have a house built) on it. One reason why we haven't bought is the potential difficulties with selling that come with this situation. We are happy and settled for now but intend to move elsewhere when the dc are through school and I am terrified of not being able to sell and have no desire to become an accidental landlord.

We have a house we're not living in with a shitload of negative equity. We looked into renting it out - our mortgage provider would be fine with it, but it would cost us thousands to do it up to a reasonable standard and do the landlord training etc required, and I've seen newly refurbished houses be trashed within months of being rented out in the area so it's not been an appealing idea so far.

Tbh, I wish we hadn't bought, or at least not when we did. Of course hindsight is a marvelous thing, but if we'd bought a year later we'd have paid half as much, been able to sell by now and be in a much better financial situation.

Sadly because of the nature of the rental market (limited regulation), low levels of house building, and the influence of the 70s/80s, it has become seen as a holy grail by many. Unlike some other countries.

We all need somewhere to live. The UK has been gradually conditioned and force fed this need to buy a house,do it up,flog it and buy another. I call it the Kirsty and phil effect.

The housing market in this country is fucked. There is no doubt about it. People are working hard to buy over priced homes that are the smallest and most expensive in the developed world.

Not only that,they are paying double for them !

Even at todays interest rates a £500,000 mortgage will cost you a million over its lifetime

Meanwhile savers are being flayed by the banks and BS to underwrite it all. They are being ripped off with shit interest rates and because a pressure cooker is building, bank and BS profits are falling so they cut rates for savers more .

The other thing that needs to happen is a revolution in the private renting sector.

The law needs to change

Prevent ripoff estate agents from levying their rip off fees.

Give more security and stability to good tenants.

The other thing that this person said is ‘what will you do when you are older’ and the truth is I don’t have the answer.

This is the one that would worry me the most, if you decide renting is best for your current circumstances, you need to have long term plans in place to ensure you can afford to continue to rent for 10-20+ years when you retire. Do not rely entirely on your "good final salary pension" as it is not guaranteed (your employer could stop the plan or you might move jobs).

It is all very well having a carefree life now, but you will pay dearly for it later. There is a balance somewhere in the middle.

I must admit the instability of private renting would scare me especially with having a child.

@weallhavewings as I have said in this thread, I am not choosing a ‘carefree life’ as you put it. Your comment actually makes me annoyed as it reinforces this idea that all renters are fiscally reckless.

As I have said, I have tried my best to buy a house but I can’t because the market is fucked and houses are too expensive. I don’t want to give up my life, career etc to live in a town 200 miles away where I dont know anyone and have zero support.

Any actually to all those of you relying on your houses for your pension- how do you know the housing market wont crash? It’s already started in London- why are houses a better option than a private final salary pension? There have been houses crashes before and it’s possible it will happen again.

Even if the market does crash, it's still much safer than private pension - pension funds collapse just as much. It's still a roof over your head, and you can always take a lodger

The market crashes only matters to those who bought recently at the peak prices. For many people, even if houses prices fall down by 50%, they would still be in positive equity because they bought for what is today next to nothing. You don't plan over a couple of years, but over 10 or 20 years you are winning. It's a pain, but if you cannot sell your house, you let it.

Owing a property in a decent area is never a bad bet.

But my point in all of this is that I, like many millions of others, can’t afford a house. 10 million apparently renting and 1.6 million families - there has to be a change because otherwise that’s a lot of pensioners claiming housing benefit

Freegazelle Those oh so wonderful long term European leases (and the max in Belgium is 9 years), are not so fab close up; neither have I seen what I would consider living in for much under €1500 per month. Everything I pay for as a landlord in the UK; buildings insurance, boiler service, maintenance of white goods, cooker etc, gardening, I pay as a tenant in Belgium. Rents are indexed here, so automatically rise each year, and when you leave, you are expected to hand the property back in exactly the same condition as you took it over in....no concept of wear and tear exists here at all, and nothing is written off normally as too old.

On a three year lease if you leave before the three years are up, you are liable for the entire rent, so be careful what you wish for. Even on a 9 year lease, you can be given notice as we were last year, as the landlord wanted to live in the house again. The grass is not always greener in Europe, so don't kid yourself it is.

You could argue that the current housing issues are the greatest crisis facing this country both now and if nothing changes, for a long time to come

Being a homeowner is, obviously, better than not all else being equal, but, obviously, it's not the only goal in life, no. Depending on circumstances other things can be much more important.

Not everybody wants or can live in the same city anyway, for some people it works out much better to rent a smaller and cheaper property but stay flexible and move every few years. They can settle when they retire but their flexibility gives them a better career and a much better income.

It's not really worth buying and selling every couple of years!

'I am not choosing a ‘carefree life’ as you put it. Your comment actually makes me annoyed as it reinforces this idea that all renters are fiscally reckless.'

This!
Part of the reason why we are happy renting is that we don't expect to retire, really (and are fortunate enough to do jobs we can theoretically keep going in until our minds go), nor do we necessarily want to.

scaryteacher, things in Belgium sound much, much more tenant-unfriendly than in Germany.

"I must admit the instability of private renting would scare me especially with having a child."

I live in Liverpool, where the job market is unstable. Every-time another high street retailer (and it's Warehouse/Transport) close, people get scared. Well those with Mortgages, because HB will cover rents here.

My DD lives in a better house than me, as a private renter. I can't afford to bring my house up to that standard. So moving out and renting it, isn't an option.

"The Tory government should never have advocated the sale of all those council houses. They broke their promise that they would use the money from the sale to build more.
What we really need here is more council houses and tighter rental regulations that can be policed properly."

That won't happen. The Tory's, those in the Lords are their Friends.

Anelderlylady The Germans with whom dh works are always appalled when they get posted to Brussels at the costs of renting, and the sheer costs of everything. beats me why it is so much more expensive here than three hours away. Dh often brings me back shopping from Germany as it's cheaper.

We always wanted to own our home for the stability of it more than anything particularly when we had children. Prices in the south east have just gone up and up in recent decades and when we dropped to one income when I took a career break to have kids it was impossible for us to buy in a decent area so my husband applied for a job transfer to elsewhere in the country. It was tough moving away from family and friends but we did it 30 years ago and much prefer living in Cornwall to living near London. I had no problem finding part time work, my DH preferred working and travelling around Devon and Cornwall rather than London and the South East for Work as he was a medical engineer. We bought a 4 bed modern detached house for the same price as our grotty ex council house we had in the London area. Much better schools and lifestyle better.

I think if you don't own it is probably more expensive as mortgages are cheaper than rent, you can decorate to your taste and improve it and one day you will be mortgage free so no housing costs when you retire. You are also more in control as you don't have to deal with landlords who refuse to do maintenance or decide to sell up so you have to move etc etc.

scaryteacher, it's odd, isn't it, such drastic difference? I wouldn't have thought it. Dh has relatives close to the Belgian border - will do a test trip next time we visit them.

Germany's always had quite a strong tenants' lobby, partly because renting has always been a very common practice among the middle class, I think - it's only certain regions that are renowned for buying (or building) houses.

Sorry to be London-centric but mortgages definitely aren't cheaper than rent in London, they're about the same (or a lot more if you rent a shared house, jumping to a mortgage from the price of rent for a room would be a huge leap)

@scaryteacher there’s been a ‘thing’ in the past few years or so of Dutch people buying houses just over the border in Germany. Nijmegen is very close to the border and a fair number of people who work there actually live in Germany. It’s vastly cheaper.

takeaway We are only here for 6 years as civilians; previously housing was provided at a very advantageous rate by the MOD. Rents as a civvy are huge here; the landlord did us a favour by giving us notice - we save €800 per month. Means we make back the €10k cost of moving in about a year.

Sounds a lot to move, but deposit, plus removal firm for a day, plus all the servicing of everything having to be done prior to moving out, even if it is all in date, plus paying duel rent for a month, as the property has to be emptied and then cleaned to more than a military standard, as otherwise you are into €500-€1000 for a cleaning firm (even if the landlord doesn't use them, you still pay), and then any 'damages', and that can be anything from a weed on the patio to calc on a shower tap to a blown light bulb.

I am looking forward to moving back to the UK and my own four walls.

"You could argue that the current housing issues are the greatest crisis facing this country both now and if nothing changes, for a long time to come"

Not to diminish the severity of the housing crisis (and it's huge), but the ecological apocalypse we are facing dwarfs absolutely everything most Mumsnetters are worried about - including Brexit. Future generations will look back on us and wonder how on earth we didn't see it coming.

It’s not the most important thing in life but it’s WONDERFUL owning your own home and it make obvious financial sense. It’s hard work having to sacrifice to afford but I think well worth it in the long run x