To think that some women go on and on about the obesity crisis and weight

[Tobythecat]

Just to be smug about their healthy eating and slimness?

I have noticed it on here a lot and real life, even a good friend of mine posted something on facebook about it and i was disappointed with her for being so judgemental.

People who fat shame and go on about the obesity crisis and talk about overweight peoples eating habits dont seem to think that these individuals likely have binge eating disorders and bullimia.

I have had a binge eating problem since i was a child and used to starve myself. Im overweight and trying to lose it but im sick of some smug women who try to make people like me ashamed of our weight issues.

A good friend of mine just posted about a quote from the bible about obesity and gluttony. A lot of her friends are carrying weight and i just felt like she posted it to feel smug and superior. Shes always going on about how she used to make herself sick and talks about how she only eats salad and healthy stuff, whilst offering me a biscuit.

AIBU to think that a lot of women do this as a way to feel superior?

Dont worry about it None of us are perfect :)

Maisy
Yes, I accept that "whining" as a stand-alone word isn't misogynistic. True.

I guess I just felt with your first posts that you were targeting women with the way you expressed the point. And then you made up that point about the bloke

But anyway, I don't disagree about vanity sizing. I just feel women have a hell of a lot of shit to deal with over their appearance and there is a massive imbalance here. Not blaming you for that though!

Ah right anxious. I see what you mean. Honestly, it was aimed at women because that's when I've seen the behaviour.
I was just trying to illustrate that I would feel the same way if a man did it.

That sort of petulant, poor me, pathetic complaining usually based on why the world is a mean place and hasn't validated my feels is utferly irritating in many situations. This is just one of them.

I do agree with the complex issue around women and size and socialisation. What annoys me is that more and more commonly the 'solution' seems to be deny the issue, call it fat shaming or concern trolling, rewrite the definition of curvy to mean fat and validate this big is beautiful and wonderful narrative (usually whilst also promoting diets and faddy eating and foodas a treat etc).

Instead of shaping the world to validate people who are larger and want to feel happy about being larger, why not focus more on the idea that even at different sizes people are different shapes and builds? Why not focus on healthy eating habits? Or promote ways people can make healthy choices? Instead of saying 'we'll make the sizes larger and deny any health issues', why not say actually your body needs to be healthy?

I can remember being put off exercise for years because when I wanted to exercise a family member shamed me an insinuated I had an eating disorder. Same family member over 15 years later still comments on my eating habits, whilst "treating themselves". It makes me laugh that actually I'm the one who has the healthier attitude ti food and health.

I think this is very interesting. My dh was chatting on the phone to his friend whose wife has a job at the leisure centre. Dh said can you get a discount to lose weight?

I would never say that to one of my friends, the implication is that he needs to lose weight.

I have been called a skinny bitch by one of my friends. It's ok, I know what she meant, but they aren't really nice words.

It's all so weird now.

It's part of it all being so visible. You can tell if someone is fat or skinny so it's easy to judge. Whereas mental fitness or intelligence, noone would dare go there as you can't see it. So the only long term solution is to get thinner or at least be the thinnest in your group by getting fatter friends than you

How about we just accept people as they are and treat them with kindness and respect? If they need to and want to lose weight we encourage and help thm, if they need to and want to gain weight we encourage and help them, if they want to stay the same we understand that it's their choice whether we approve of not. No one needs to be rude, or call anyone names, or treat anyone in anyway other than how they would want to be treated themselves.