to think these children ARE overweight?

[OkMaybeNot]

The schools in my area have just sent out the results of the National Child Measurement Programme.

There are a number of acquaintances/friends on my social media who have posted their child's result online, along with a picture of their child and an angry rant about how their child is as skinny as a rake, not an ounce of fat on them, 'stocky' not 'fat', perfectly healthy etc etc.

But they are. Some of them are very overweight and plainly so. Others may be a little bit chubby and due for a growth spurt or something, but clearly not slim, either.

There are streams of comments underneath these posts agreeing and expressing their disgust and anger. And I'm wondering if everyone's lying, or they genuinely believe that these children are slim?

I know BMI is notoriously squiffy when it comes to kids, and I have seen genuine cases of it being so totally wrong it's laughable, especially when it comes to strong, athletic children. But that isn't the case for these children, at all.

AIBU to think that you owe it to your child to at least consider the results before going on the defensive?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trim_and_Fit

My DS came back as being within the healthy range, but I actually think he is starting to develop a tummy and I've cut down on his snacks. Problem is he doesn't eat fruit bar apples. He's not bad with vegetables, but only the stock standard plain ones. So it's hard to give him a healthy snack!

I'm reading Mallory Towers with DD and it's the one where Gwendoline Mary has obviously put on a bit of weight from opting out of all the jolly hockey sticks and lacrosse.

Everyone just talks about it directly to her, in this completely matter of fact way, and she (seemingly) doesn't take offence at all. I'm guessing it's simply because it's true. Published in 1949, post-war, so I'm guessing no-one was fat at that time.

Times have changed so much. Now - most people are fat - but it's beyond unacceptable to point it out, or tell people to their face. Fat is no longer a descriptor for most people's build; it's the worst insult imaginable.

DD are I were in hysterics at how rude it seems to the modern-day ear.

Speaking of which, DD was a 9-pounder, and stayed resolutely on the 98th centile for a year. She was EBF for 7 months, and then breastfeed for another 11, so I knew she wasn't being overfed, but I was very preoccupied with her Michelin man appearance.

Once she hit 2-3 and was on the move, she slimmed right down and continues to be a healthy weight - but back then, I though she was doomed to a life of obesity and was so worried about it.

I can see how people might vigorously defend their DC to outsiders, but I don't see how they can genuinely be blind to the realities of their weight.

The strongest predictor for overweight/obesity in children under 11 is having an overweight/obese parent. People who are overweight/obese themselves and live in areas where a large number of their neighbours are also overweight/obese don't see that they are too heavy.

Public health measures like this weigh in are too little too late. They should start in utero with strict weigh-ins of mums-to-be and routing weighing of children from birth.

Sorry Helena it was

I get very het up in this issue as it worries me a lot . I don’t want to creep into fat shaming territory . I have read a lot of threads on here and I do understand that for many people it’s a deep seated emotional issue . I do understand that .
I also dislike the current pressure to look and fit a certain mound .

But when it comes to kids who are naturally inclined to be energetic and run about it really saddens me .

Moonamix
Neither my dd nor I were overweight until I was disabled. She spent the first 3 years of her life at a perfectly healthy weight. So there’s disability to add to this comment. Of course some people are disabled because they’re overweight as well.

To add to that, some of her weight is also more developed muscle than others as dd is very sporty and fit.

I’m overweight and people are genuinely shocked when I explain - it’s because I eat too much and don’t exercise enough. Now there are reasons behind that, some health related some work related, but I’m determined to have some honesty in this crazy debate. It is in my control to sort it out (health problems in my case make it difficult sometimes but not impossible which isn’t the case for all I appreciate). I don’t feel ashamed or upset but it anymore but I’m not going to lie and perpetuate the myth it is okay to be fat and it just somehow happens.

My children however are fit and healthy and strong. That makes me fitter - I’m not going to drive for 5 mins when we could ride our bikes together or walk. Where we live there are very few overweight children - It is a shock to go back to the town I grew up in.

Ifonly my DS was the same. He was born at 10lbs 8oz and was almost 11lbs upon being discharged from hospital despite being bf exclusively.
He never lost weight and went almost straight in to 0-3 clothes and was in 3-6 before he was two months old.

Every single nursery and school group picture has him towering above his peers despite being a mid-year group birthday.

I am genuinely at a loss. He doesn't overeat (from what I can tell), eats less than the nhs recommended calories a day (roughly 1400 when they recommend 1550-1650 for age), gymnastics once a week and out playing for hours, to the point of being red faced and sweaty, every single day. Previously swam once a week and took martial arts twice a week on top of this.
Despite this he has always topped the scales and height charts.

I'm not denying he has a tummy but I really struggle to see what I can do anymore that I'm not already doing.

He was also close to two stone at his year check, which seems like a lot but in reality meant he'd only gained 14lbs, slightly less, in a year which was apparently normal.

Yanbu. It seems to be a growing (no pun intended) phenomenon. No one will willingly admit they've over fed their little darlings when maybe that means they'd have to address their own eating habits. It's abuse imo.

Also the children shouldn't be "shamed" - the over-feeding parents should.

I think our perception of what is overweight is very badly skewed nowadays as being overweight is becoming more normal. A few years back I was looking through old photos at my mum's house. The girl I was best friends with was the 'fat kid' in our class. Back in the 80s she was definitely over-weight compared to the rest of us. But looking at the photographs with modern eyes I just can't see her as an over-weight child, she looks entirely normal to me.

It was a bit scary to realise just how we can't trust our own perceptions of weight. It's made me a bit paranoid about DS and whenever I weigh him to check his weight for his car seat, I make sure to calculate his BMI too. He has a naturally broad frame so when he still had his toddler chubbiness I was very careful to use actual measurements rather than to base my assessment on how he looks. He's 5 now and since his body has lost all it's toddlerness, he does appear very skinny. I'm often shocked by how little and narrow he feels in my arms as his shoulders are broad but his waist and limbs are tiny. He still wears some of the same shorts that he wore when he was 1 (and in a giant cloth nappy).

Dd has never been overweight but she is right at the top of the scale as is ds1 as they are just heavy...not fat in the slightest but dd especially was was muscular

But i also have ds2 who refused to be weighed at the end of year 6 as he knew damn well he was chubby/overweight/fat

He spent a few miserable years but as he is getting taller the weight is redistrabuting

Coconut I was 10 stone 1 for quite a few years as an adult in the 80s. I was considered by me and others to be fat, and I was fat.

That depends on your height though. 10st1lb is overweight for me as I'm 5'1". A woman at the lower end of average height of 5'4" would have a bmi of 24 at that weight so would likely be fine.

Oh, and obviously bmi isn't the ultimate deciding factor. In my mid 20s I was over 10st but I worked out a lot, did a huge amount of martial arts and weight training and so had incredibly muscular arms, thighs and abs. I used to do about 160 push ups and 200-300 sit ups each day as a warm up to my work out. My bmi marked me as overweight but you'd have had to try really hard to have pinched a centimetre of fat off me.

I'm way heavier than that now, I need to lose about a stone and a half and this time it's nearly all fat. Though I'm currently losing fat and building muscle at the same time so I'm in for a long slow journey back to a healthy body.

I am more appalled that people are posting pics of their children with their weight etc online? seriously can these children have no privacy not sure many adults would this with their own pics and weight.

I don't agree that parents always see the best in their children no matter what. Most parents are pretty rational and can see and accept when their child is at fault in certain situations. With weight though it is a poor reflection on them because if a child is overweight the blame lies squarely with the parent for letting it get to that stage so maybe they defend/deny out of guilt

There was one child in my daughter's class who was nearly spherical but her Mom was furious about the BMI results and saying she was just a bit chubby.

What do you say to that level of denial?

they will go into adulthood believing that if it says “low fat” on the packet that they aren’t eating a healthy nutritious diet.

Well tbf, low fat food is often a sign of extra processed and extra sugar. You are vegan so, some of this mightn't be on your radar but low fat milk, for example, has a higher sugar content than whole milk. The same is true of a lot of 'low fat' foods. The food is processed to remove the naturally occurring fats and sugar and salt are added so it tastes less mank. It's pretty vile tbh. Low fat hummus is about the only 'low fat' food I'll touch as that just means it has more chickpeas and less oil.

Oh, and obviously bmi isn't the ultimate deciding factor. In my mid 20s I was over 10st but I worked out a lot, did a huge amount of martial arts and weight training and so had incredibly muscular arms, thighs and abs. I used to do about 160 push ups and 200-300 sit ups each day as a warm up to my work out. My bmi marked me as overweight but you'd have had to try really hard to have pinched a centimetre of fat off me.

But if your BMI registers you as 'overweight', it's crystal clear as to whether that's because you're fat ... or ripped.

There's no grey, or middle ground here - so I never really get why people use it as a reason for dismissing BMI.

Dowager someone once kindly tried to tell me my high BMI could be due to muscle, I felt obliged to point out it was definitely my cake habit that was the the problem.

I have never come across people denying the weight of their kids actually. Most people I know are fairly open about it all.

My DS2 is overweight, he does well over 10 hours of sport a week outside school, eats relatively healthily too. I wouldn't subject him to being weighed at school as we know the outcome. Weirdly it seems to be a family trait on both sides, my brother was the same and then grew upwards at around 13 and was skinny, DH was the same.

I am not concerned at all, but certainly not in denial either.

I agree Dowager. Obviously people are built very differently even without exercise etc, some people very clearly have broad shoulders and generally just a bigger bone structure, some people are very slight.

I am a slighter build and do not carry weight well, I have a friend that can weigh up to 2 stone more than me at a similar height and not look chubby at all. I definitely agree that it is obvious to look at someone really, that's why BMI has such a big range, I can weight 8 st 5 to 10 st 7, for me personally that is the difference between being really really skinny and being really really chunky (sz 6/8 to a size 14)

I used to wonder how parents let their kids get overweight but then I found out personally.

DD was born on the 91st centile and basically stayed there throughout her toddler years. When she turned 4 she suddenly went from being a 91st centile in height and weight, to being overweight according to her BMI. It turns out that 'being in proportion by centile measurements, doesn't mean you won't be in the normal range by BMI.

Its not an error in the BMI either, she WAS chubby, but she was has continually been less chubby year on year since she was born. (She was a big fat baby in the best way possible :))

I honestly feel like there could be more advice for that transition point. When do you stop saying its fine if they are saying on the same centiles and start saying this child is overweight take action now! Because I don't think it magically goes from fine to not fine on their 4th birthday!

Anyhoo...we saw the issue the first moment I ran her data through the NHS child BMI calculator and immediately followed their advice and she is now growing a little faster in height than in weight and hence has moved gradually over the last 3 years from overweight into the normal and is continuing down towards the median. She is still on the chubby side at 7 but solidly in the green and I think its better to do it slowly and invisibly rather than rapidly.

I do think it has some value. However is Reception too early. Or should it be done more regularly.

My eldest was not overweight at all. She was in the 19th percentile for weight and 75th or something for height.

If she was to be measured today (a year or so later) her height would probably be higher up the percentile and I think she’s probably only about the 8th percentile for weight
I think a lot of her friends have also taken a stretch and slimmed down from Reception.

I’m almost beginning to worry she will get too skinny as she was born on 91st centile - but actually she just looks healthy