to think these children ARE overweight?

[OkMaybeNot]

The schools in my area have just sent out the results of the National Child Measurement Programme.

There are a number of acquaintances/friends on my social media who have posted their child's result online, along with a picture of their child and an angry rant about how their child is as skinny as a rake, not an ounce of fat on them, 'stocky' not 'fat', perfectly healthy etc etc.

But they are. Some of them are very overweight and plainly so. Others may be a little bit chubby and due for a growth spurt or something, but clearly not slim, either.

There are streams of comments underneath these posts agreeing and expressing their disgust and anger. And I'm wondering if everyone's lying, or they genuinely believe that these children are slim?

I know BMI is notoriously squiffy when it comes to kids, and I have seen genuine cases of it being so totally wrong it's laughable, especially when it comes to strong, athletic children. But that isn't the case for these children, at all.

AIBU to think that you owe it to your child to at least consider the results before going on the defensive?

It is also true that your taste buds can change. I was a huge chocolholic before going vegan. I thought that I would really miss it but I have since tried some Tesco vegan chocolate buttons and I can’t take the sweetness of it. I tend to crave sugarsnaps and olives when I feel like snacking.

One of my children also follow a vegan diet and he asks for berries and apples as a treat. Like me he can no longer take the sweetness of sugar. The others are much more attuned to processed foods and snacks and see crisps/biscuits as a treat.

The point is that if you have a child who hates all fruit and veg than you have allowed them to develop a sweet or processed tooth and unless something changes then they will go into adulthood believing that if it says “low fat” on the packet that they aren’t eating a healthy nutritious diet. I see so many adults now go on diets and then admit they hate veg and/or fruit and then wonder why they feel tired and run down and truffle to keep the weight off.

The problem is that obesity is something that is almost celebrated in today's society. If anyone dares to say differently then they're immediately leapt on and accused of being "fat-shaming". No. No we're not. We're recognising that being overweight is very bad for your health and understanding that taking measures to address this will be enormously beneficial to your body and overall health.

We are far, far too complacent these days about being obese. Obesity has been tacitly accepted into society, so the threshold for worrying about weight is exponentially higher.

And indulgence is everywhere. I was in a petrol station the other day and the whole top row of confectionary as you queued to pay was all supersize, duo bars. That's right- the same unhealthy thing as the shelf below - but literally two of them. It beggars belief!

YANBU. One of my daughter’s friends (5) is clearly overweight, you can see the chub in her face, arms, legs. I feel so sorry for her as it’s only going to get worse - she is allowed to drink full fat coke and they are allowed to graze constantly at home with pretty much free reign to eat sweets. And sugary cereal every morning!

I’m a firm believer in everything in moderation, and I know I may seem judgy, but if I was in her parents position I would be curbing the free access to food as a first step.

My son is overweight. I'm under no illusions and trying to address it; we have cut down portion sizes, limit snacks and he does do a lot of activity (he has no games consoles to play on). However I would hate other people to point it out, as I'd hate them to point oit my excess weight.

My problem seems to be that whatever we have done he has never lost weight. When he was born his height and weight were on the 99.9th centile. Now, almost 8 years later, his height and weight are on the 99.9th centile. He has never fallen on either. At 7 years old he has developed hair on his legs, arms and back; he is over 4 and a half feet and has a size 4 feet! He's bigger than most of the children I teach who are 10 and 11 (height wise). He wears and age 12-13 clothes for the length more than anything.

I'm actually quite concerned about how developed physically he is and how hard it is getting to shift his little bit of chub.

I think a stop to the constant puddings at school would be a start, there is no need. Maybe a pudding on a Friday or just not at all.
The whole class party trend doesn't help either, it's a constant barrage of sweets and treats and cake and then more sweets to take home.
Add grandparents and family friends wanting to treat kids every time they see them and it's ridiculous, I feel like I always have to say no to strike some kind of balance.
Children have so much these days, they get used to it and it's not as enjoyable as a "treat" should be in my opinion.

The mixed messages are terrible in school. We have a very stringent lunchbox policing, yet the kids are encouraged to eat their body weight in cake at the monthly PTA sale.

@sailorcherries have you sought medical attention? He could have something else going on especially with the hair you describe.

My son lost all his weight when he cut dairy out. He always had a problem no matter what we did but it literally fell off him.

totally I'm going to look in to it come summer. He's already feeling a bit self concious about things and I'd rather he had some time away from certain children in his class while we explore.

I've no idea what it could be though. A hormone imbalance? Something more? I've never known a child to never drop a centile; and having taught various children from the ages of 5 through 11 I've never met someone his age of his stature before (height, weight, shoe size, body hair etc).

We bumped in to a child in my class at the weekend. DS was over a head taller than them, despite them being over 2 years older and them not being the smallest in the year!

Meh anyone who does this is thick as shit

If you get this result you shudder , cut the sugar , increase the exercise and bin the sweet bucket

You don’t post the little lard bucket on Facebook

You only need to look at high street clothes for children, they are huge. I have a very skinny DC and understand they won’t be quite be in their age group clothes wise, but seriously it’s becoming impossible to find stuff to fit. I, as a average size 12, could quite easily fit in some of the age 10/11 girls clothes. It’s shocking. It must make it difficult for parents to know their children are overweight if the clothes for fine.
We have lost all prospective of what is normal for a child. People jump on skinny child models, when really that’s how kids are suppose to look.

DGS was measured at school recently and he is 75th centile for height and 72nd for weight. His BMi was shown to be in the healthy weight range (73%) but towards the higher end which seemed a little off to me - I would have expected a child who matched for height and weight centiles to be at 50% so I obviously don't understand the science bit . His dm measured him and she found him to be 2mm shorter and .1 kg heavier so accepted that the measurements were accurate.
Without his clothes, his ribs are clearly visible and his his belly is completely flat. His adjustable waistband trousers are taken in at least 4 spaces on each side - the compromise between falling off and being pulled in so far that they hang perculiarly

If people's meals consist of frozen Iceland meals and takeaway they will get angry if they have to change that for healthy eating because it is a lot harder.

Yeah I've seen this loads as well. And the one child that looked like they must only just be in the oversight category now looks very overweight 3 years on. That's common too, if they are slightly overweight at 4/5 when they are growing quickly they will get bigger if the parents don't take notice.

One of mine had just had their results from school and in the healthy weight range, but I'm a little surprised as they have a slight tummy.

I see this too. People almost proud of how much their kid can eat. They are always "so tall" so need several sizes bigger.

I ordered some trousers for dd online and you could have fitted her in them twice. An 11 year old who actually fitted them would have been huge.

I don't think anyone makes the overweight/over tall connection.

Snacks play a huge part. Kids can't seem to go an hour without food. When did it become normal for 10 year olds to wear adult clothing. I struggle to find clothes, especially trousers to fit both my dds. They live in leggings .

I think.people are too polite . Im.not saying we should all point and laugh and say "your kids fat mate" but it doesn't do any favours to be all "there's nothing wrong" either.

After all it's far easier when you have control over their diet and activity than when they are older.

YANBU. People are blind to the weights of their children. Lots of children are fat nowadays, or those children whose ribs you can see are deemed "skinny", when really they are healthy.

Where there is an overweight kid, there is usually an overweight parent.

Instead of parents of overweight children taking on board the facts and changing eating and exercise habits, they call out things like 'fat shaming' etc as they can't admit the truth to themselves.

Olivia - YES. There is always a fat parent with a small child who is demonstrably going exactly the same way and I wonder - WHY DO THEY NOT NOTICE??

There's a mum at our school - literally just one - who is incredibly obese. Easily morbidly obese several times over. And year on year she gets fatter. She's a lovely person, very intelligent, but she walks around the school with her head down and doesn't engage with anyone unless she has to. I do not understand why she doesn't do something about it. Interestingly, her husband is chubby without being fat and both her children are a perfectly normal size.

So they posted pics of their child and angry rants on FB which basically just opens the door for more judgement of their child...this thread for example.

I think people's view of their kids is distorted by love and that the peers they can compare their size to are also overweight.

@Sailorcherries. That is really interesting. My DS was born 99.9 actually off the scale.

He is now 3 and wears 6 year old clothes. The GP was shocked at his 6week check and the health visitors.

DP is 6ft 1 so I put it down to genetics. Though he is growing rapidly. Chunky and tall with a small appetite. I will book my gp for a test to check hormones etc.

DrCoconut Tue 12-Jun-18 18:33:24

"@crunchymint it shows how things have changed doesn't it? The lady in the story was being fat shamed for weighing just over 10st, now you see diet stories where the "after" weight is more than that"

So? My finish weight was 11 stone down from 21 stone 1

I couldnt give a fuck if people think i need to lose more

And i raise you Hammer House of Horror There was an episode of that series where the fat shaming was really bad and that involved a slimming club.

The episode was called The Thirteenth Reunion.

stopfucking that is a really unpleasant term.

My DD had a panic attack and refused to be weighed and measured after being fat shamed by a friend at primary school. They went round this girls house for a sleepover. She made them all line up and weigh themselves and then talk about why DD was the heaviest (err probably because she is much taller, plays a huge amount of competitive sport and was already starting to develop unlike all her tiny friends). Result - one very anxious child who is still convinced she is 'fat and disgusting' several years later rather than the beautiful, healthy, active girl she actually is (and no, that's not me being wilfully blind!). She had no issues with her body before that.

I understand why the tests are done but I think that we also have to consider the impact on children (especially girls) at what can be quite a vulnerable time. It needs to be handled very carefully.

I don't think kids should be shamed for being fat as it's their parents fault for buying the food/snacks

It's funny we worry about mentioning fat for fear of an eating disorder when they already have an eating disorder, eating too much!

Other cultures do fat shame hence in their populations you don't see many fat/obese people at all.

We pull people up on all kinds of unimportant things so why not pull other parents up on overfeeding their kids? People aren't afraid to comment on how skinny someone is.

That said, I don't have the answer to it of course but clearly there needs to be action taken.

You mean like this pissed.

thisfitblonde.wordpress.com/2017/07/04/taf-the-toughest-club-in-singapore/