to think these children ARE overweight?

[OkMaybeNot]

The schools in my area have just sent out the results of the National Child Measurement Programme.

There are a number of acquaintances/friends on my social media who have posted their child's result online, along with a picture of their child and an angry rant about how their child is as skinny as a rake, not an ounce of fat on them, 'stocky' not 'fat', perfectly healthy etc etc.

But they are. Some of them are very overweight and plainly so. Others may be a little bit chubby and due for a growth spurt or something, but clearly not slim, either.

There are streams of comments underneath these posts agreeing and expressing their disgust and anger. And I'm wondering if everyone's lying, or they genuinely believe that these children are slim?

I know BMI is notoriously squiffy when it comes to kids, and I have seen genuine cases of it being so totally wrong it's laughable, especially when it comes to strong, athletic children. But that isn't the case for these children, at all.

AIBU to think that you owe it to your child to at least consider the results before going on the defensive?

I did take ds2 to the doctor

And he said he is not as fat as other children ive seen

Not sure how helpful that was

I do think it has some value. However is Reception too early.

I wonder whether they do this to try and nip in the bud early the unhealthy eating habits of the parents being passed onto their children?

An observation I have made is that people with over weight kids that I know have offered food as a comfort when they fell over or were upset about anything at all. Oh poor you have some chocolate, it is the very beginning of a bad relationship with food in my opinion. Food is fuel not a plaster.

My DGM did this but with her dog. Over-fed him and he died too early. I do think she thought she was doing a loving thing by spoiling him/giving him too much food. But she had been told by the vet to cut it down and she chose to ignore that. That's what was wrong and I don't see much difference in how some parents treat their DC. Yes there are some challenging medical conditions of course, but they're in the minority, like people who can't lose weight due to medical conditions. They're in the minority. The rest are deluded.

People use terms like lard bucket, chubster etc and then they wonder why people who overeat get depressed and continue to do so. Would you use that kind of scathing term about any other physical condition?

Yes you are right, the weight of the nation needs to be addressed, but HOW we do it, the words and tone we use need to be addressed too.

I'll bet that at least some of the people on here who are pro fat shaming have used those kind of terms around fat people with little thought of what it actually does to them.

Being overweight IS a problem, but it's not, and shouldn't be treated like a badge of shame, and it shouldn't be spoken about like one either.

These are real people with feelings just like you. You may despise their fatness, but you don't have the right to treat them or address them in a despicable manner.

I don't think much will change until we tackle THAT.

In the 70s there was 1 boy and his sister in my primary school that everyone thought was ‘fat’ but looking back I don’t think anyone would think they were now.

This ^^

And in fairness, even kids who look slim are a lot fatter than they used to be. Without clothes on, i know a few 8 yrs olds who have noticeable fat (looks like cellulite) on their tummies. When we were kids you could see all of our ribs!

Used to be a time most kids were string beans and all foal like until they hit 12 or so.

You dont see that anymore.

Most kids i see are overweight, the sad thing is it has become so normalised i think parents truly, genuinely dont see it that way.

Whats sad about it is once your body has created fat cells, they're there. That means that even when you go on to lose weight as an adult, the cells are there waiting to be filled back up.

Tangled absolutely. Once the fat cells are there they're there. Sets their dc up for a lifetime of dieting struggles. How absolutely myopic and selfish.

My two are both very slim and with my DS you can see his ribs, he has very long skinny legs but he eats loads and is very good at sports. He's constantly told that he's two skinny and should eat more whereas I never tell friends that their kids overweight.
Both me and his dad are slim and I was skinny as a child difference is that now so many children are a bit chubby it looks normal.

Due to the fact that the majority of people are now overweight, overweight has become the new normal, and obese the new overweight. The lines of normal have shifted so far that normal weight is often viewed as on the skinny side.
My children are really skinny and have been since birth despite eating me out of house and home and I get criticised on them being underweight. In their classes there are several "chunky" kids that are probably clinically obese. One boy weighs nearly as much as me . He's 11 and I'm 41 and a size 10-12. His sister is even bigger. I was shocked when I saw her. Their mum is aware though and trying to get them to exercise more.

It’s terrible that parents can’t or won’t see it. Also that clothes companies again have just made children’s sizes bigger as it covers up the issue. My children are all a healthy weight, bmi correct etc. However the other day my middle child put on the younger siblings trousers a new pair that the toddler hadn’t tried on yet and apart from being too short they fitted?? That’s a 6year old comfortably fitting in 3-4year old trousers. We have to buy adjustable waisted trousers for both the older two as to get the legs to fit they waist is way too big.

There are a lot of overweight children at my dcs school just by looking at them, it’s quite strange as a large percentage have the gym type tall correct weight parents and they just seem blind to the fact their 8yr old weighs as much as me a 26year old women and I’m just in the healthy range for my height and need to loose some weight.

Totally agree with you. I'm shocked how many parents are stood at the school gate clutching food for their kids who won't manage to get home without a snack. It's always something in a packet, never an apple. I'm mean and have never turned up with anything. Mine don't even ask. Kids are most likely thirsty when they say they are hungry anyhow.

Also, you need to look at food portions. I was chatting with a friend about another mutual friends daughters who are both overweight. My friend commented that it was just portion control, eg she will give them a whole jacket potato (like an adult man would eat) loaded with beans and cheese. My daughter who is 10 was happy with half last night. Frankly I probably ought to be happy with half and then I wouldn't be so fat!

I do think we are in danger of teaching our children to overeat from an early age.

@WatermelonGlitter I 10000% agree with you. until we stop using fat as a stick to beat people with, we won't get to the root of it.

I think when the weights crept up it can be hard to see. Not just for parents but anyone close to the person.

I was very overweight as a teenager. I knew I was, but my family just saw it as chubby. It was only one day when I was waiting for my sister and she was walking down the street towards me she thought “that massive girl looks like Daisy”... and then she realised it was me. She didn’t say anything until after I’d lost weight but she genuinely never registered that I’d gone from chubby to morbidly obese.

My mum was different. She could see I was larger than I should’ve been but couldn’t understand why as I “ate the same as everyone else”. Only I didn’t. If we had a sandwich mine would be thick with butter, I hated veg so if we had a roast I’d get extra potatoes and meat, my sister would have an ice lolly and I’d have an ice cream etc.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the wood for the trees and it can be really hard to cast a critical eye on your own children.

Good point, Daisy.

I started using MyFitnessPal to keep an eye on my own intake a bit post-menopause, and realised that, in retrospect, the reason stick-thin middle DS a.k.a. the Food Hoover remained stick-thin might be that he detested butter, cream, ice cream, soft cheese and anything of similar texture, so although he was wolfing down volumes of food he wasn't getting the calories.

Mind you, plenty of people have said that children get fat on a high-carb low-fat diet, so possibly some of it is lucky genetics.

I heard when DD was little that you should be able to see their ribs clearly at the back not look a chubby cheeks etc.
Also it's much easier for a parent to take responsibility and keep their child slim than is is for an adult that has been overweight since a child to loose it.

One of the most frightening aspects of the ‘body positivity’ movement I’ve seen is people asking for recommendations (in the US) for ‘fat positive’ doctors, who won’t comment on their weight and ‘fat shame’ them. Almost literally sticking their fingers in their ears and saying ‘I don’t want to hear it’ when a medical professional has concerns about their health. It’s actually scary.

People are generally deluded about their weight. People say they're a size 12 and that's fine. Well it might be depending on your height and build but remember that in the 1970s you'd have been a size 16.

The government wants to ban junk food advertising before 9pm which I think will achieve precisely zero.

What needs to happen:

Smaller portion sizes everywhere
Investment in cycle paths, not roads. Massively.
More investment in public transport, if you walk to a bus stop or station you get more exercise than if you walk out of your house and get into the car
Have exclusion zones around schools so everyone has to walk at least 5 minutes to and from school. Even if you need to get onto work afterwards you can cope with that. Also, if kids can cycle you won't need to drive them anyway.
Have more PE lessons in schools but vary the activities so it's not just football and netball. Get all the kids doing things like junior parkrun too.
Work on employers to allow more flexible working and shorter hours so that people can do more exercise. If you work a 8-8 day you'll be hard pushed to fit in exercise especially with a long commute too.

My son is lean but he does a lot of exercise. I was quite chubby as a teenager and I like my food so I have to exercise to make sure I keep in the ideal weight range. But as long as you understand food in equals exercise out you can keep your weight constant. Exercise has made all the difference to me.

It’s a very emotive subject, isn’t it, and needs to be handled carefully. Yes there is a problem with obesity in this country and also malnutrition due to bad diets, and a focus on healthy eating and exercise is needed but you have to take care how you broach the subject as you could end up with the opposite of your desired effect or like someone in this blog post (from the blog someone linked earlier) someone could end up with an eating disorder or mental health issues www.theparentgameblog.co.uk/2016/10/weighing-children-in-school-guest-post.html

So I'm a bit of a porker and my ds looks skinny to me. You can see his ribs and skinny legs with knobbly knees.

He regularly gets weighed at hospital outpatients for reasons not to do with his weight/eating.

When I asked the paediatrician whether he was too thin I practically got laughed out of the room. Apparently being a skinny 6 year old boy who eats more than his 10 year old sister is perfection.

Why on earth would they publish their kids’ results on line with pics of their kids?! Do their kids know they’re doing this?!?! What a horrible breach of trust.

People believe in the idea that because babies can't be obese or whatever that it's the same for children. Also when I was growing up people used to say 'oh it's just puppy fat' as if childhood fat wasn't a problem it was just part of being a kid.

I worked in a junior school and you would be amazed at how many parents just refuse to acknowledge that their child is overweight, even when it is to a serious degree. Every excuse under the sun is trotted out; it really is so sad. There was a girl who was so big she couldn't sit on the mat with other children to listen to stories, and had to have a chair in assembly rather than sit on the floor. Mother (huge) would not engage with anyone to help her, and could be seen every day waiting for the bus for the two stops to school, with the child eating something . I could have wept for that child - she went on to senior school and I can't imagine the tormenting she must have had. She was far from alone though, there were plenty of others who were far too heavy.

10 stone as an adult is not fat. I'm 5.4 and at ten stone I was a size 10. I was definitely not fat.