to think these children ARE overweight?

[OkMaybeNot]

The schools in my area have just sent out the results of the National Child Measurement Programme.

There are a number of acquaintances/friends on my social media who have posted their child's result online, along with a picture of their child and an angry rant about how their child is as skinny as a rake, not an ounce of fat on them, 'stocky' not 'fat', perfectly healthy etc etc.

But they are. Some of them are very overweight and plainly so. Others may be a little bit chubby and due for a growth spurt or something, but clearly not slim, either.

There are streams of comments underneath these posts agreeing and expressing their disgust and anger. And I'm wondering if everyone's lying, or they genuinely believe that these children are slim?

I know BMI is notoriously squiffy when it comes to kids, and I have seen genuine cases of it being so totally wrong it's laughable, especially when it comes to strong, athletic children. But that isn't the case for these children, at all.

AIBU to think that you owe it to your child to at least consider the results before going on the defensive?

We need to stop celebrating fat. There are too many magazine, newspaper articles and TV shows that glamourise and accept fat as attractive with words like curvaceous, curvy, voluptuous, cuddly, etc. It isn't healthy or attractive- it's fat! It's unhealthy and should be addressed.

I also think we have developed a culture where pleasure and happiness is be all and end all for many. Many parents I see constantly reward and indulge their children; they can't say no for fear of upsetting them or enforce rules on their child. Whereas my mother would ensure we ate our healthy meal, offered no alternatives and we didn't get dessert unless we had made a good attempt at eating the main course, no matter how we cried, many parents today seem unable to be firm. Children are not allowed to be hungry either- it's snacks on the hour- many children don't know what it feels like to have a rumbling tummy!

Not maybe an accepted historical source but I watched lots of episodes of tales of the unexpected during maternity leave. In one of them a woman joins a slimming club, people are talking because of how big she is. She's horrified to discover her weight is 10st something if my memory serves me correctly. This suggests that what was considered overweight in the 70's is now considered ok. Our perception of overweight must've really changed. My DS2 is really slender, he has those little boy legs where their knees look big because the rest is so skinny, and finding trousers to fit is difficult as he needs about age 4-5 waist but is of average height and 7. He is not medically underweight but people always say how skinny he is and how little he eats. To be honest I'd like him to eat a bit more, an average children's meal in for example a pub is massive for him but I see kids half his age eat one and then ice cream too. After a difficult start food wise DS1 could eat for the UK never mind England and at 19 (years not months) is a bit chubby, so I don't think nature or nurture necessarily come into it other than recognising an unhealthy weight either way and trying to do something.

Does anyone else’s school give points for clearing their plates at lunch time? I wasn’t sure if this was a national thing.

Grindah Statistically there are more fat men in the UK than women. I think our idea of what a normal man looks like is way off. I really notice this when I go to countries where the men are much slimmer.

Coconut I was 10 stone 1 for quite a few years as an adult in the 80s. I was considered by me and others to be fat, and I was fat.

Agreed fat is celebrated when it shouldn't be.
Being too thin and dangerously underweight is bad too and magazines have been criticised for using middle like that so they should be criticised for using overweight models too tbh

@seafoodeatit

I did not know that!

I opted out. Since my child sees a peadiatrician regularly and gets her height and weight done there I didn't see the point and I don't particularly agree with elements of how the programme is run anyway.

Intending to raise the recent appearance of "clean plate" stickers with school anyway though- they've just started using them and it's really having quite a detrimental impact on my kids who now are coming home saying they didn't like their lunch but made themselves eat it anyway for the sticker - I really am uncomfortable with that creeping in.

All 3 of my children looked overweight at age 10/11 but grew into the weight and were very slim by age 13. At 14, 21 and 24 they’re all fine now. The weighing in at school only happened with the youngest, and yes I got the letter! I was also pretty chubby ( not obese) just before adolescence. I kept an eye on what mine ate, we never had loads of snacks around and encouraged exercise, walking further to secondary school helped too. We were honest about the fact that they would lose weight as they grew as long as they ate healthily as I didn’t want them to become depressed or see themselves as fat. The children whose parents ignore the issue and almost praise their size are going to far in my opinion. You can be a loving parent but still point out what needs to change!

Yes. I don't like clean plate stickers either! It is however shocking how many children have limited diets and I see so many children who won't eat any fruit or veg. Stickers for 'eating my veg' would be useful!

...my mother would ensure we ate our healthy meal, offered no alternatives and we didn't get dessert unless we had made a good attempt at eating the main course

This isn't a healthy thing to do either, shovelling down food you don't like or clearing a plate when your already full to get pudding.

@crunchymint it shows how things have changed doesn't it? The lady in the story was being fat shamed for weighing just over 10st, now you see diet stories where the "after" weight is more than that!

70s that should read

i think it is unnecessary to draw attention to kids this age being overweight. in most cases. Theyve got their whole adult lives to start obsessing about their bodies and hating themselves

I think the 'snacks' play a huge (no pun intended) part in why there are so many overweight children today. I just don't understand this constant need for children to be given 'a snack' every 5 minutes. It's as though they can't be allowed to feel hungry at all.

I've seen it recently with my friend's 3 year old. She's certainly not obese but she is overweight and putting on more all the time. She gets constant snacks and screams the place down throwing a serious tantrum if they don't appear fast enough.
She's in nursery 5 mornings a week from 9-12. She has breakfast before she goes (sugary cereal normally) then they have a snack in nursery at about 10.30. Her mother goes to pick her up at 12 and hands her a croissant/pastry as she gets into the car. They live 5 minutes away so she's home and then lunch is at about 1. Normally some sort of pudding with that, then she grazes all afternoon long on everything, crackers, rice cakes, crisps, biscuits, ice cream etc, then has supper that night at 6 ish and usually either a bowl of cereal or a couple of slices of toast as a 'snack' before bed.
This child eats more than I do in a day.

Why do they need snacks all the time? When I was growing up in the 80s and 90s we had breakfast dinner and tea. School lunch was generally a sandwich and an apple/orange. A fun size bar as a very rare treat. We didn't get any snacks in between meals. At the weekend we got a treat such as bar of chocolate or a packet of crisps and that was it.

My final year in primary school, there were 24 in the class. You know how many was overweight out of those 24? 1. 1 child out of 24, and all of that child's family were overweight. These days it seems that at least 50% of a class are overweight or obese.

Do people not actually realise what they're doing to their children and how hard they're making it for them in the long term? It's actually cruel.

The kids should never know their 'score', I think that's really important. This info should be for parents' eyes only, for guidance.

But parents are allowing their children to read these letters, or at least know about them as they rant and rave on social media/irl.

Why would you a) tell your child about the letter, and b) post about it on social media?

I think Bridget Jones is horrified to be a little over 9 stone in the novel. It kind of depends on height and build doesn’t it?

@MarthaArthur - I remember the boy in that program. The mother was totally over feeding him, it was verging on child abuse he was so big. I wonder what happened to him.

Branleuse it's not about 'hating themselves'. Its about their long term health and life expectancy.

I always womder what became of the poor little boy. His mother just would not accept she was overfeeding him she just constantly insisted she fed him healthily.

I've seen this, DD is very bottom end of "normal" but top end is her with another 12lbs. If she put 12lbs on she'd look overweight! Her friends mum handed me some summer dresses because "DD is so skinny, these won't go up over xs belly" they were an age 11. They're 8.

Food manufacturers being allowed to mislead people about what is ‘healthy’ pisses me off

Low fat does not equal healthy. It means they’ve replaced the fat with sugar to make it pallitable and that is worse for you than the fat.

Cereal. Cereal bars. Yoghurts. Granola. All billed as healthy, packed full of sugar.

Worse, sugar keeps you on constant hunger swings. Hence the constant snacking.

Our nutritional advice is seriously flawed. Being fuelled by glucose (carbs) means the body literally lays down fat cells to cope with the amount of glucose in the body.

Remember we used to eat lard and be skinny as rakes? There’s a reason for that.

SpitefulMidlifeAnimal
I don’t have the energy or clarity of mind to be reading supermarket packets. Besides I know a lot about nutrition. The issue is there isn’t enough easy prep or ready made food with much needed vegetables to fill up on. So much ready made carb. My dd doesn’t eat potato including chips and I’m not going to force her. It’s another carb. The flesh of a jacket potato is higher on the glycemic index than sugar so it’s not going to fill a child up for long.

It's impossible to comment really. People have wildly different opinions on when a child is overweight. And overweight can mean a tiny bit over what the target bmi is or morbidly obese. Some people view even being the target bmi as too heavy. Without facts and fugures this is a pointless thread. It's akin to 'how much does your 12 month old weigh?'