To get so hurt over Facebook.

[doesmyheadin]

I honestly think I need to delete it as I take it far too personally.
But I HATE people removing me as a friend.
I’ve got anxiety and I’m a massive over thinker anyway and it really affects my mental health.
Latest one is that I work in a shop with 3 other women. A regular comes in and adds all 3 of us. 2 weeks later he just deletes me and stays friends with the other 2.
I don’t post that often, although I’ve got a big family and get tagged in photos a few times a week at bbqs or weddings, parties, soft play with the kids etc.
I occasionally post a photo of the kids in their party outfits if they look especially cute.
Now I’m overthinking if I’ve done people’s heads in so they’ve had to delete me.
I’m dreading seeing him at work now.
I must really annoy him for him to purposely go onto my profile and hit delete?
The other 2 people he’s kept as friends post every couple of weeks themselves and don’t get tagged in photos. Maybe he found them less annoying than me?

De-cluttering your friends list and being less obsessed with the number of fb friends and whos friends with who is definitely the answer. Make fb work for you instead of triggering insecurities.

This thread has reminded me to do a major clear-out of my 'following' list. 😂

I've NRTFT so I don't know if someone has already said it but there have been a couple of times where Facebook has removed people off my friends without either of us doing so. The main one being my DM and neither of us unfriended each other, I have heard a few other people say the same has happened to them too.

I hate to say this, but I don’t think FB removes friends from your list. I think people might be spinning you a line.

I've also learnt to separate the showbiz/entertainment stuff from my friends and family posts, by unfollowing bands, tv shows, etc, by unfollowing them on fb and following them on twitter instead. I find fb is much less cluttered now and I don't miss some of their posts like I used to. I still get adverts for Tesco and the like though because an auntie or someone has liked the Tesco fb page though

@TheStoic - they accused me of removing them. I had my DM in floods of tears because I had removed her off FB. I had been on holiday and hadn't been on FB a week.

I'm not bothered about being removed by people so I'm not actively looking to see if people have defriended me or not, I wouldn't have a clue.

Op, I'm not intending to come across harsh but you sound seriously over invested in fb.

I too have anxiety so I understand that but to literally post about one person deleting you, that is weird. I couldn't give a flying fuck if someone deleted me as anyone actually close to me in real life would communicate with me regularly anyway.

I used to be a people pleaser, until I grew a pair... it's exhausting being like that and so much better being assertive, fake it till you make it...

Can you remember life before fb? I can, it was bloody easier. Fb has so much to answer for. It's great for light social networking etc and keeping in touch with people to a point but when it starts to overtake your life then it's time to take a step back.

I deleted it. Best thing I ever did. It’s full of cunts

Good for you. I like Facebook and enjoy it but then again I dont have cunts as friends so mine isnt full of them, says more about the people you had on yours.

But to fair, sometimes you don't realise how big a cunt someone is until you see what they are posting rubbish on fb.

That's what I was thinking Laguna
It's totally up to you ho you are FB friends with.
It's totally up to you how you use FB.
It's therefore totally up to you to who you delete.

there isn't a problem with Facebook, just - sometimes - issues with the way some people use FB. If you re struggling, then stop using it.

@LagunaBubbles
That’s not very nice! I meant all the extra hang on people you end up having. All the people who comment or like something dreadful you don’t agreee with etcetc
What I found was, your real friends are your real friends! And you’ll keep in contact regardless

There's probably no reason. Sometimes I add people who are acquaintances or work colleagues, then I find I'm seeing loads of their posts instead of the posts of my close friends. Sometimes I'll hide/ snooze them for 30 days but usually ill just delete them. It's not because I don't like them, it's because I have closer friends.

I also delete people who post contact memes/ stupid IQ quizzes/ repost if you love xyz and definitely if they post political posts. That doesn't mean I don't like them either. It just means I go on Facebook for different reasons.

I suspect people delete me all the time but I neither notice nor care. I'm sure they still "like" me. It's Facebook, not real life. It really doesn't matter.

I'm sure the point about seeing if you were single is true too. The number of creepy middle aged men (usually with someone else's yacht in the background) who seem to find and follow me on instagram beggars belief. A few photos of DH usually sees them off.

If you don't want to get rid of it altogether do you have the willpower not to go on it for a month and see how you feel then?

LTB
Sounds like Facebook isn't for you and I would leave it if I were you. If you have to keep it make your profile private and only have family and close friends.

Do other people not give it a second thought when they get deleted

I wouldn't even know if someone deleted me. I just read through the news feed rather than go directly to one persons page.

I think you would benefit from deleting Facebook if it makes you feel this way.

I’m going to stick with having half my “friends” on restricted for now.
I’ve ummed and ahhed in the past quite a few times about deleting it, but for now I need to see the info from various hobbies.
It’s also just dawned on me that I use the buy/sell sites weekly.
I feel better hearing peoples responses on here though and it’s interesting to see that some people wouldn’t even notice if they got deleted and other people get really upset.
I’m going to try and take a step back.
It’s just annoying that I use it for so many purposes. In the past 3 days I’ve signed the children up to 2 childcare summer clubs, seen that my dd dancing class was cancelled last minute, bought some pre loved Clark’s for my dd, seen a reminder from preschool re Father’s Day and checked what time my boot camp class starts tonight.
I feel like I’d be a bit stuck without it.

How do you even know if you’ve been defriended?

This is doing your mental health no good. Unfollow all the individuals you follow so you only get the groups notifications. In fact, turn off notifications completely and just check the day of a meeting to make sure nothing’s cropped up.

You’re definitely over thinking. There are people I de-friend just because I haven’t spoken to them much. Nothing to do with them really at all. Others because they are from work and I’m about to post something I don’t want getting out at work. Just chill. It says more about them than you

I’m feeling better about it all today.
I’ve got lots of friends in real life, an amazing husband, beautiful kids. I’ve got hobbies, a nice house, a job I enjoy 90% of the time.
If people want to delete me then so be it.
Think it was just the initial realisation that he’d deleted me but kept my colleagues made me feel a bit shit and question myself, worrying that I was annoying as he couldn’t even stand to see my posts for more than 2 weeks.
I’m not going to accept requests from people from work anymore or other friends of friends. Just going to stick to close friends and family.

I would say though that you should use Facebook as the tool it is. Remember that every picture is just a glimpse of someone’s life. It’s rasy to plaster on a smile for a second. It’s also a really great tool to find friends. I bet there are groups out there that would offer friendship and support. I would love to tell you about one group that has led to real life friends that give amazing support and we holiday together but it would be too outing. You take control. Try out groups for your interests and passions. They don’t fit move on. You find people you like stay and chat.

Glad to see you feel better about it all. :)