To get so hurt over Facebook.

[doesmyheadin]

I honestly think I need to delete it as I take it far too personally.
But I HATE people removing me as a friend.
I’ve got anxiety and I’m a massive over thinker anyway and it really affects my mental health.
Latest one is that I work in a shop with 3 other women. A regular comes in and adds all 3 of us. 2 weeks later he just deletes me and stays friends with the other 2.
I don’t post that often, although I’ve got a big family and get tagged in photos a few times a week at bbqs or weddings, parties, soft play with the kids etc.
I occasionally post a photo of the kids in their party outfits if they look especially cute.
Now I’m overthinking if I’ve done people’s heads in so they’ve had to delete me.
I’m dreading seeing him at work now.
I must really annoy him for him to purposely go onto my profile and hit delete?
The other 2 people he’s kept as friends post every couple of weeks themselves and don’t get tagged in photos. Maybe he found them less annoying than me?

It's weird how much it becomes part of your life and really plays havoc with my mental health. Jan 1st I deleted it off my phone and have probably had a quick look once a month.

When I do look, I get sucked into feeling bad about myself and comparing what others are doing and my life. I have loads of notifications and when I look, it's all rubbish. This then irritates me enough to close the page and go do something else.

When I first had it, I felt a little like you, I wouldn’t notice someone deleting me unless they were a good friend. I don’t have a gazillion randoms on it like some.

The explanation you gave is probably most likely tbh.

I doubt it’s because you’re annoying, unless you use Facebook to post nonstop crap like MLM stuff or preach about things. Most people know they can just unfollow you if they want you as their friend but don’t want their feed full of your stuff.

But you’re right, giving this more head space than necessary is totally pointless and sad. Let it go.

yabu, but you can't help feelings sometimes.
I get (very) far more upset by people on MN being rude to me.

FBkers can delete me as they like, though. Can't imagine seeing MN as the safer environment.

Facebook got me hooked in and I got obsessed! I deleted it last September. I am now obsessed by Twitter so am currently on a Twitter holiday. When my husband is trying to talk to me, and I don't answer or pay attention because I get obsessed by who says what, I realise it's time for cold turkey. If people want to know me, they can ring, text, email or Whatsapp. I'm hardly cut off.

Argh I don’t know what to do.
I really want to delete, but if my dd dancing is cancelled or changes venue it’s posted on there. The pta posts reminders of non uniform days, cake sales etc.
Lots of party invites are just done over fb.
I’m worried I would miss some vital info.

I would in your situation delete anyone who is not a close friend or family . Do not add anyone unless you consider them a close friend .

I haven’t looked at the number of friends I’ve got for about 10 years (back when I thought it mattered!). Even if you notice your number of friends has gone down, can you really be bothered to trawl through and figure out who it was who deleted you?!

If it helps I stayed off Facebook a while ago for unrelated work based reasons (I worked heavily on Facebook as part of my job and stayed away when I changed role...not MLM) but I was incredibly surprised how little I missed it and how little it affected relationships

Honestly It wasn't a break for mental health but you'd be amazed how freeing it is honestly

I don’t ever delete people.
I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
The only people I’ve ever deleted are people that I don’t really know who’ve added me (eg friend of a friend I’ve met once and only said 2 words too). Plus they were sharing Britain first posts. They really have to do something bad to justify being unfriended!

I used to get a bit anxious about it as I’m a very self conscious person. But then when others started to annoy me or if it was someone I barely knew then I started to delete them, or people from school who I was barely on speaking terms with.

Since I’ve deleted a few people myself, I feel less anxious about it.

I don’t ever delete people.
I don’t want to hurt their feelings.

I think you’re extrapolating from your own response to being deleted here, most people wouldn’t care, so feel free to delete whoever you want!

Maybe I need to go on a deleting spree in that case!
I was Facebook friends with a woman from a toddler group for about 3 years when she suddenly deleted AND blocked me. I was really upset as thought we were friends. Then 9 months later she added me again with no explanation whatsoever.
People are odd

It doesn’t bother me if other people delete me

Why would you want this "regular" seeing pics of your family though OP? I think you need to rethink who you share what with really. Don't set yourself up for people to hurt you.

Just delete it. I haven't use facebook for a few years. I call it fakebook because it is.
I have friends that went on and on over fb how they were so happy, their 'hubby' was amazing and their 'bestie', all changed when she found out he has been shagging someone younger at work. Then all over FB that he was and had always been a coke head, bully, wanker.
It's all fake.
I actually had someone text message me saying they wanted to wish me a happy birthday, but they couldn't because I had my fb wall closed. WTF, they were texting me! But ya know it doesn't count unless it's public on fb... Sad.

Fakebook, get rid of it.

I was Facebook friends with a woman from a toddler group for about 3 years when she suddenly deleted AND blocked me

Maybe she deleted her profile?

@doesmyheadin change your privacy settings so that people you hardly know don't get to see all your personal stuff. Sorted. You can even put people into 3 groups - "family", "friends", "people I hardly know" - and sort things that way. Every time you post you can decide who gets to see it.

He was probably finding it uncomfortable to see so much of your private life on show when he only knows you very loosely. Perhaps you shouldn't accepted his friend request in the first place.

I delete people who I don't have contact with. So people who I did something with years ago, or people I have no contact with. It´s nothing to do with how nice they are as people, it has to do with me not wanting to post stuff that random people who have nothing to do with me can see.

But in this case, it does sound like it might be that he wants to check out which people at your job are single. Which makes him a bit sleezy. No great loss.

It’s nothing that he wouldn’t see if he bumped into me out of work or even sometimes in work (just so happens he comes into the shop mid day so hasn’t seen them)
Just mundane photos.
In fact I get a lift too and from work most days so my kids are in the shop for 5 or 10 mins most days so many of our customers have seen them briefly.
I don’t see how this is different to putting photos of them on fb in party outfits?

Sorry OP I don't wish to be harsh but I think you answered your own question. If I got as many updates as you put on or are tagged in then it would annoy me too no offence. That's just me though - I actually hate FB! You say the others post much less frequently, that's why then. Have you asked him/them?

Definitely looking to see if you were single ! I never look and friends numbers, and refuse to, otherwise I know I would overthink too, but really not worth it, I delete people now and again for a variety of reasons so remind myself of that if/when I realise

Ahh yes it's probably because you're not single OP. How cheeky is that.

Omg didn’t think about changing what people see. I’m going to get on that right now!
As yes, I do get tagged in things a few times a week. This week alone it’s been a wedding yesterday (tagged in at least 4 people’s photos), a birthday party, a trip up to family for the day and soft play with antenatal friends. So at least 7 different peoples photos of me and my kids!
Going to put ppl on restricted now that aren’t family or close friends.

I agree you should delete FB. I got way too invested in it a few years ago and deleting it was the best thing I did. Never looked back. It’s damaging your mental health. Just delete it!