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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for hating the Pampas advert thanking midwives.

422 replies

ToadsforJustice · 10/06/2018 15:17

I didn't have a positive experience with any of the MW I had the misfortune of seeing whilst having my DC.

I find the advert really triggering. I don't think I would thank anyone for the misery and pain they caused me.

OP posts:
TurquoiseDress · 10/06/2018 17:37

I have not seen this advert but YANBU

During my 3 pregnancies I have fleetingly met some lovely midwives, but when I was actually an in-patient at the hospital, I don't recall encountering any lovely ones at all.

I remember my SIL giving her midwife a huge hug at the birth centre when she had her first- it gave me a bit of a pang thinking why couldn't I have had a midwife like that?!

I just remember after DC1 was born, my midwife asked me if I would like a cup of tea & toast (v hungry at this point) and that was the last I saw of her!

Totally minor in the grand scheme of things, but left a lasting impression...!

FizzyGreenWater · 10/06/2018 17:38

Yes, the advert needs binning imo.

I had bad experiences overall.

Not all are nice. Not all are even capable.

Have had someone in RL also comment on it - said she wants to punch the screen every time she sees it (midwife cut her without consent, I mean actually went ahead when firmly being told I DO NOT CONSENT). Hey, on the bright side she's buying Aldi nappies now as a result and is a total convert. Grin

It can be such a sensitive subject - I think that's what annoys me most about the ad actually, the total GALUMPHING into the topic with the absolutely blase assumption that it's a totally safe topic, lovverly fuzzy-wuzzy childbirth moments, awww. Maybe a small aspect of it but yet another example of how the childbirth process is kind of infantalised, taken away from women as something complex and seen as a perfectly accessible subject for cosy fluffy repackaging.

Someone should tweet this thread to pampers, not that they will give a shit.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 10/06/2018 17:38

Pampers

ASAS · 10/06/2018 17:40

**The NICU one upset me so much that I was physically sick the first time I saw it. Sure, an extreme reaction but it just brought back so much.

Yes, with I'm Coming Home. Who on earth approved that pitch!

QuackPorridgeBacon · 10/06/2018 17:40

It’s all relative I guess. I had a crap midwife and an amazing two at the birth of my first. Midwives were fine at my second too. I thought the song was a shit choice though and didn’t like it for that reason though.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 10/06/2018 17:42

See I actually liked the NICU one. Would make me cry but I thought it was done well. Glad to see they have nappies small enough too. My second was in NICU but didn’t leave hospital in premie nappies, she left after eight months old.

TurquoiseDress · 10/06/2018 17:44

Have to add- I would never buy Pampers again as I found the nappies completely shit for one when my LO was tiny, they just leaked all the time, even after just 20mins on!

So, after this advert it's not as if they would lose me as a customer- that was a long time ago!

Also, what kind of marketing department approves this kind of thing to put out as an advert??

Did they actually speak to anyone who had given birth or encountered a midwife when they were a patient?

NotARegularPenguin · 10/06/2018 17:45

Well as a midwife I don't like the advert.

They're using the profession to sell a product and I don't like that. They should stick to trying to say why their nappies are good.

Sorry to those who didn't like their midwives/had bad experiences.

Sparklesanddiamomdsforever · 10/06/2018 17:48

This thread is really sad Sad

I'm sorry to all of you who have had bad experiences Flowers

CowesTwo · 10/06/2018 17:53

Does anyone else think that the women in the ad are not really in labour, but actresses pretending?

formerbabe · 10/06/2018 17:53

I didn't have any particularly bad experiences with regards to the midwife's I had but neither anything particularly exceptional or positive either. I feel fairly neutral towards them. I wouldn't say any came across as especially kind or supportive. I have read about some people's hideous experiences though and for that reason, I don't really like the advert.

Piffle11 · 10/06/2018 17:57

Had my 2nd DC at 41 and 2 months: midwife who was looking after me whilst pregnant asked me if I thought I should be going through with a pregnancy when there could be something 'wrong' with my child, due to my age … 2nd midwife I saw was discussing my 5 month scan and basically told me 'if they find an abnormality, you won't be allowed to leave until it's dealt with'. They were fucking vile. Midwife who actually delivered the baby was lovely.

NeverTwerkNaked · 10/06/2018 17:58

I think that's what annoys me most about the ad actually, the total GALUMPHING into the topic with the absolutely blase assumption that it's a totally safe topic, lovverly fuzzy-wuzzy childbirth moments, awww

Yes. This is it. I know some women who have had very positive experiences. But for many it is far more complex than that, and for some, like me, we have been left deeply traumatised and heavily medicated many years after the birth.

NeverTwerkNaked · 10/06/2018 18:00

We never used pampers anyway as they gave both mine horrific allergic reactions. Supermarket own brand were fine (although cloth nappies were best but I found them a task too much once I was back at work)

QuackPorridgeBacon · 10/06/2018 18:24

Piffle11 Why the fuck did they say that at your scan? That’s horrific. Surely they couldn’t have held you there?

MaisyPops · 10/06/2018 18:29

YABU.
disliking an ad thanking midwives because of ypur bad experience is like those parents who had a crap time at school as a child so decide to be bloody awkward and argumentative to score points in some silly war they've created between them and teachers.

There's excellent, good, satisfactory and poor people in every profession. Most people don't judge a whole profession based on their single experience.

jmscp2015 · 10/06/2018 18:35

YANBU I find it triggering and a bit rage inducing as well.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 10/06/2018 18:53

I think it's unfair to hate all midwives for the rubbish behaviour of one. The one who told me that ds didn't descend because I hadn't dealt with being raped makes me hope for an afterlife so she can burn in hell. However all the midwives I saw on Thursday/Friday when dd decided she wasn't waiting for my elective section were absolutely amazing, as were the Doctors. I was in a lot of pain, scared (ds's arrival was a bit of a car crash and I was terrified at the thought of repeating it), it was the middle of the night and I felt I was losing what little control I had. They were supportive, understanding and compassionate and dd's birth ended up being a wonderful experience.

muddabitch · 10/06/2018 18:53

Im not really bothered about the advert because its just an advert but as for midwives ive had several fantastic midwives and two absolute nightmares for midwives.
when i had a Tfmr i had a midwife who was very cold towards me and made it very clear she did not agree with my choice to have a tfmr as i was having to deliver my little boy at 25+4 weeks due to a genetic condition.
2nd nightmare midwife i was in labour with Ds3 and she was in a cupboard that was in the room having rows with her boyfriend on the phone.
she then proceeded to tell me after reading my notes that i should be going to a priest begging for forgiveness for my last pregnancy which was my tfmr as i was bad she then started telling me about how her brother had aids and basically things i didnt want to hear.
I was also going to hell for my bad choices.
Funnily enough i only got this from her when my partner left the room to update family or to go and eat.
The next midwife who replaced her was lovely though and heard me tell my partner everything put in a complaint about her.
luckily i had children before so i knew it wasnt supposed to be like that and informed the head of the midwives at the hospital the next day who assured me it would be the last time she would work there

Flatearthersphere · 10/06/2018 19:34

As a midwife... this thread has left me feeling really deflated. I work so hard to make my patients have a positive experience and I can honestly say 99 percent of my colleagues do the same. I hate to think some people hate the profession and find an advert with midwives on triggering...

Flatearthersphere · 10/06/2018 19:35

I also had an awful midwife for one of my labours but I could never tar a whole profession with the same brush because of one nasty person. There's Arseholes in every job.

bobstersmum · 10/06/2018 19:40

The midwives who looked after me during my three pregnancies were all fantastic including the ones helping me give birth, but after my first I was in hospital a few days and the midwives on the ward were cold, not helpful or caring and actually quite horrible!

Balthazarsbonnet · 10/06/2018 19:45

Erm, the baby that you CHOSE to have caused you the pain and suffering.

The midwives involved just tried to provide healthcare to stop you and the baby dying. You could have turned it down. You aren’t entitled to a magical birth you know.

YABVVU

doleritedinosaur · 10/06/2018 19:48

I had one great midwife in my last pregnancy who told me to complain about my consultant as he shouldn’t have said what he said.
She listened to me & understood after DS1’s labour why I was how I was.

Other midwives didn’t listen, ignored me & caused me to have another allergic reaction.

But the student one who delivered my second baby also listened & was great.

They are definitely stretched & it is affecting patient care.

keepingbees · 10/06/2018 20:04

@chinesechicken I am not projecting. I am fully aware many midwives are lovely. My point is I, and many others, have had a horrible experience and been spoken to like rubbish. You don't see that happen on obem!