OP YANBU I hate all slushy ads anyway, let alone how this one must be so triggering for women who have had bad experiences and lost babies.
I am shocked at this thread - so much bad practice out there. And some pretty terrible responses from one or two “professionals” - actually wondering if a certain one is a troll.
Birthdaycake - that article relates to care in USA which is very different to UK and has some of the worst birth statistics (stillbirth, maternal death) in the developed world so not really relevant.
I loved being a midwife for 20 years, trained and worked at certain centres of excellence plus 10 years community in a lovely area with a great community hospital low risk unit. None of this reflects my experience (on the whole...) but I have, as I said worked in great places and I know other areas don’t come up to the same standards which is why I wouldn’t choose to work there.
I’m glad I’m not a midwife now - birth rates keep going up and midwife numbers go down so that speaks volumes for the ability of the profession to give great, personalised care every time. It must be so stressful and worrying. Having to care for more than one person in labour is totally unacceptable but I know it is now widespread and so unsafe.
Postnatal care? I’m old enough that when I trained Midwives rules dictated that a woman should be visited twice daily for three days and once daily for a minimum of ten days, with temperature recorded every time. Managers hated that we were doing all these visits which they perceived as swanning around having cups of tea with new parents (sometimes we were) but compare that to now when there is no continuity of care and you are lucky to get two rushed visits. There was a case in the paper some time ago of a woman who died of sepsis, the midwife had forgotten her thermometer that day, now there are recommendations that temperature is recorded. Still very unsafe since it’s a bit random whether the problem should arise on the day the midwife visits. Sepsis (or good old puerperal fever as it once was) is on the rise again as a cause of maternal death although thankfully campaigns to raise awareness of sepsis with strict guidelines is helping, at least within the hospital setting.
I know I’m not perfect and sometimes one just doesn’t hit it off with a person. As a community midwife within a team and our own caseloads occasionally a woman would ask not to have a certain midwife and we would just swap around, no hassle, don’t take it personally, I had people ask for me specifically and yes, occasionally ask not to have me - it happened to all of us, not to say one shouldn’t do a little reflection and wonder what one had done wrong, but sometimes a chance remark comes out wrong and you can’t take it back and it makes a lasting (bad) impression.
For example, something that happeneded to me - I was having a minor gynae procedure and my favourite consultant jumped in and took command even though it was a junior Dr affair, but I was very pleased, he was my fav. My happiness deflated somewhat when my least favourite anaesthetist came in. If a man can be a bitch, he is one.
He said “Don’t worry, I will treat you just like everyone else”. He said it in a reassuring way and at the time it reassured me. But later I wondered if it was his subtle bitchy way of saying You May have Mr X dancing attendance but you’ll get no special attention from me. I actually think it was but maybe it wasn’t. But you see how something can be taken two ways depending on your perception.
I was always one to stay late for the delivery if the woman was second stage, didn’t particularly expect excessive gratitude for it but if you have built up a relationship with a woman over the course of her labour it seems a harsh time to leave and one wants to see the baby! However one time I stayed late, I went up to the ward to see the woman the next day. She accused me of causing her to tear by making her push too hard because I was in a hurry to go. I was so shocked I was speechless. And deeply hurt. Nothing could be further from the truth. If I had wanted to go I would have handed over to the next shift. But that was a one off. I had daughters of two patients as bridesmaids when I married so plenty of very happy experiences.
There is no excuse for vaginal exams without consent (or warning), just shocking that people are still doing this. Apart from respect for the woman it also lays one open for future court cases so it’s amazing people are doing it.
I haven’t looked at the Mumsnet campaign for better postnatal care but I’m sure it’s needed. The biggest problem I see is simply down to £££ and maths - more pregnant women, less midwives and not enough £££
Of course that is going to have a detrimental impact, and when it becomes unsafe that is very worrying. Sadly this applies across the NHS , not just in maternity.