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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

999 replies

Biscusting · 09/06/2018 21:25

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 11/06/2018 09:14

Omg what a cheeky fecker, tell her that she is not welcome in your 2 star accomodation anymore after her nasty TripAdvisor style review. That your DH was very upset and does not want you here. Cheeky bint

MarthasGinYard · 11/06/2018 09:15

She's just realised she's scuppered her own travel plans for July.

Only reason she's back peddling

Don't be used.

TERFragetteCity · 11/06/2018 09:15

'In what way? I won't be seeing you in July. Or August. Or any other months'.

BurnerName · 11/06/2018 09:16

I won’t pretend to understand MH issues, but could this be something more like bipolar? I just don’t get how she could minimise this and thing a July stay is okay.

This is not MH and I am sick to the back teeth of people using MH as an excuse to be a cunt. This is bullshittery of epic proportions by an entitled cow who is used to getting her way regardless of her behaviour.

Tell the princess to jog the fuck on and block her.

Dandeliontea123 · 11/06/2018 09:17

If you are not straight with her now, you know she will keep messaging you until July!

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 11/06/2018 09:17

She's using you.
You can be sympathetic to her whilst also putting up your own barriers.
If you want to be kind tell her you will be happy to meet her somewhere on her visit but she isn't welcome to stay at yours.

loulou0987 · 11/06/2018 09:17

Please comment underneath with her itemised bill!

Dandeliontea123 · 11/06/2018 09:17

I like TERF’s reply. Put the responsibility back onto her.

UpstartCrow · 11/06/2018 09:17

She did it because she's not a nice person. Thats why she tried to shift the blame to her therapist - he told me to do it.

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 11/06/2018 09:18

I've had anxiety and mood swings for most of my adult life and I would still never do something like this because anxiety doesn't suddenly mean you have no concept of manners or decency! What an excuse!

You've done the right thing OP and handled it really well. I would nip this July invite in the bud with a swift 'while I accept your apology, I wouldn't be comfortable hosting you again after this and so I think it would be best if you made alternate arrangements'.

What a toxic person she is!

StealthPolarBear · 11/06/2018 09:18

Actually I think I'd just reply "no, you won't"

RhubarbRhubarbRhubarbRhubarb · 11/06/2018 09:19

There is no point trying to diagnose her with bipolar. She has already said she has MH issues and that she is having therapy for them. You’re not her doctor, so there’s really no need to speculate.

I’d go with the bright and breezy response posted by @RisingPhoenix up thread. Or just a simple, “let’s put it behind us, but unfortunately we won’t be able to host you in July”. Repeat as necessary. I think if you go into the “you were rude so you can’t stay” conversation, you just open yourself up to a lengthy chat where she’ll apologise profusely and try to convince you to let her stay. It would be harder to say no then imo.

I’d go with bright, breezy and polite but be absolutely clear, with no wiggle room.

Duckyneedsaclean · 11/06/2018 09:20

Shock You need to be explicit about July, clearly! CF

MarthasGinYard · 11/06/2018 09:20

What rhubarb says

BurnerName · 11/06/2018 09:21

@MarthasGinYard I know! it's like people use it as a free pass to be a dick with no consequence and it makes a complete mockery of those who are genuinely living with these issues. It really does boil my piss!

TheGirlOnTheLanding · 11/06/2018 09:22

I think I'd be inclined to be blunt at this point so there's no room for misunderstandings. 'Don't be ridiculous: after what you've done there's no way we're hosting you again in July.'

TheGirlOnTheLanding · 11/06/2018 09:22

I think I'd be inclined to be blunt at this point so there's no room for misunderstandings. 'Don't be ridiculous: after what you've done there's no way we're hosting you again in July.'

BMW6 · 11/06/2018 09:23

FGS the fucking NECK on her!!!!
Please please OP tell her to get lost. I have never heard such awful hurtful self-justifying wankery as this.

senua · 11/06/2018 09:23

I just don’t get how she could minimise this and think a July stay is okay.

It might be an idea to tell her this: tell her that if she thinks this then she obviously still does not realise how badly she has behaved and how deeply she has hurt you.

MsHomeSlice · 11/06/2018 09:24

of all the threads you want the papers to pick up, this really is one!

She must think she is teflon! ...nothing sticks!

Send her on her way, what a cheek she has!

Waggingmyginger · 11/06/2018 09:25

How batshit! Of course this affects your friendship. What planet is she on that criticising someone's generosity, home and insulting their partner and intelligence all in public wont make them see things in a different light?!

SomeKnobend · 11/06/2018 09:25

The cheek! Do reply "we will not be hosting you in July". It obviously needs to be made crystal clear for her.

SpandexTutu · 11/06/2018 09:27

Dear CF, Your FB post made it clear you did not enjoy our company, our food or our home, so we will not be extending any more invitations to you. You will need to make other plans for July.

QueenOfIce · 11/06/2018 09:27

Does depression stop you from taking responsibility for yourself now then?

MatildaTheCat · 11/06/2018 09:28

She’s not that bright so keep it short :” July’s off. Fuckity bye.”