Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

[Biscusting]

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

Biscusting Please just block her and move on. Her excuses are the biggest load of bullshit I have ever read!

I think you need to make it clear about July then block and move on.

She was pure nasty. And the dig at your husband was unnecessary.

Nah, she just wants somewhere free to stay in July. Even if she doesn’t write those things anymore, she still THINKS them.

She’d be gone if she was my friend. I’d just reply NO and block the cowbag. Why write it on a public forum, she could have written a diary or private blog. And wtf has your dry conversation and decor got to do with her MH?

I think I'd just keep it neat and to the point and text 'your behaviour was inexcusable. we are not friends. Do not contact me again'. Then block.

She wouldn't be staying in my house ever again

I told you that she is a fuckwit. Just be clear, OP. Tell her that July is off and no more invites.

You hope it doesn't affect your friendship? Really? Surely it already has!

Are you seriously saying that she can stay again in July? You're a nicer person than me OP

No way would any "therapist" suggest public blogging in her own name

Another one saying that she's back-pedalling because she wants somewhere free to stay in July.

I'd text her back:

It has affected our friendship, in that I no longer trust you and don't particularly want to remain friends with you. Good luck with your recovery and I hope you feel better soon, but I think it's time that we draw a line under things and go our separate ways.

Dear CF

I’m afraid this is something that I will struggle to come to terms with, and
yes, it has obviously affected our friendship. Please give me some space, I’m also rescinding my offer in July, so please find alternative accommodation for your visit.

Biscuits

Then simply block and forget about her. I have nothing but sympathy for people suffering with mh issues, but that is no excuse for rude and hurtful behaviour.

She's back pedalling, because she wants to stay in July. You need to make it clear that invitation has been taken back. Mh issues or not, it's no excuse for her behaviour.

I didn’t realise my depression and anxiety gave me full reign to publically slate all my friends clearly I’ve been doing it wrong!

You’re well shot of her, OP.

I'd reply "well you've triggered my depression, so thanks for that. You're not welcome to stay here again."

make sure it's not all about her the cheeky bitch
depression does not make you slag off your mates.

*publicly even

Please book a break away for the time in July, so when she turns up (because you know she will) you won't have to deal with more of her CF'ery

I smell panic at the loss of her free July stay

The depression and anxiety line is bullshit. It effects everyone differently of course, but it’s no excuse to be a rude, unthoughtful arse. I diarise my thoughts when I’m going through an episode and on the basis they can ge extreme and obnoxious I tend not to publish them! She might try that. You’re well rid of her.

You know what’s good for noting things on? A note pad. Your poor Dh, as if he wants to make polite conversation with your friend on his two days off.

She critiqued your decor, complained about your house and WiFi, insulted your husband and said your breakfast, which you went to a lot of effort to provide was underwhelming.

That’s nothing to do with depression. Depression would be more inward facing about how she’s feeling. It’s no excuse.

Some people are weird and rude with or without mental health problems. I’ve had the joy of trying my best to negotiate a long term friendship with one. Thankfully it’s died a final death now and i’m free of it all. Walk away and don’t look back OP!

Great reply from Struggsto

Great reply from Struggsto

Please stand up for yourself and don’t let her stay next month. See needs to grovel to you and even that isn’t enough after what she has posted in fab about your home and hospitality. You are far to good for her.

The things she said had no reflection on her feelings they were just bitchy

I expect a therapist told her to record things which is standard publishing in such a public way on Facebook it's just ridiculous

She's an idiot and she got caught out as you said you have mutual friends you were going to see what she wrote so even if she didn't think you would see it that doesn't make it okay

If your reply wasn't clear enough definitely resend the offer of a bed in July do you want to salvage the friendship ? I wouldn't necessarily be writing her off quite yet if I did but it sounds like you've become quite distant anyway

I think she has every intention of using your home as a free B&B in July again, OP.

Please don’t tiptoe around her, worry about hurting her feelings, or put yourself out for her a second time.

What she did was unacceptable and not the act of someone who deserves your time and effort.

I'm lucky if I get a slice of toast when I stay on my friends sofas for free! Maybe I should start calling them out about it on Facebook...
She should never have written that publicly, whether she thought you could see it or not. I'd just forget about her at this point if I were you.