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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

999 replies

Biscusting · 09/06/2018 21:25

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

OP posts:
KilledByHerOwnCardigan · 10/06/2018 23:30

Publicly post something like this:

"You asked to come and stay with us, uninvited, and we graciously welcomed you into our home. You only spent part of the day here, and the rest of the time we hosted you warmly, with ample good food, good wine, and what I thought was good conversation.

"And now you review me? Like I'm a hotel, or a tourist experience? I feel like I should send you a bill, but I'd rather you spend the money on a book about or class in etiquette. You direly need it."

Annnnnnnnnnnnd block.

KilledByHerOwnCardigan · 10/06/2018 23:32

Or:

"Since you've rated your first experience staying in our no-cost, food-and-wine provided B&B, I expect you'd rather not repeat such a horrid encounter. Enjoy your trip in July, and I hope your accommodations are more suitable to your... tastes."

And then block.

KilledByHerOwnCardigan · 10/06/2018 23:33

Er, "poorly rated."

I really wish this place had an Edit button.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:33

She has only just taken it down now, when you asked, so she has left it up there for all to see, even after your first message to her. She is just nasty, and vying for free accommodation, despite slating your hosting. I would message her, " yes it has affected things between us, thought after your scathing Tripadvisor review on FAcebook, you would not want to stay in our 2 star accommodation again, so I suggest you find alternative accommodation for July.

She only contacted you initially because you live in a tourist area and wanted free digs, so not really a friend.

witherwings · 10/06/2018 23:41

The FB post was beyond rude and she knew it was rude when she said that she didn't think you would see it.
Then she backtracked with the depression excuses (not saying she hasn't got depression and writing down her thoughts is not a good idea but this was in completely the wrong place).
The apology and hopes that your friendship won't be affected is because she wants to stay in July.
I think I would reply saying you are sorry about the depression but the post was rude, insulting and upsetting. And totally inappropriate to post that on fb. Then block her.

PandaPieForTea · 10/06/2018 23:41

She’s lying. Otherwise she would have taken it down when it was liked by someone as that would have alerted her that it wasn’t a private post.

witherwings · 10/06/2018 23:41

The FB post was beyond rude and she knew it was rude when she said that she didn't think you would see it.
Then she backtracked with the depression excuses (not saying she hasn't got depression and writing down her thoughts is not a good idea but this was in completely the wrong place).
The apology and hopes that your friendship won't be affected is because she wants to stay in July.
I think I would reply saying you are sorry about the depression but the post was rude, insulting and upsetting. And totally inappropriate to post that on fb. Then block her.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:47

After what she said, and how it was done, I personally would not want to set eyes on her again.

daffodillament · 10/06/2018 23:51

Hells Bells !

Honeyroar · 10/06/2018 23:54

I would reply "thanks for taking it down. I need some time to calm down from this, it's best you still don't come in July." Then step away from it all with dignity and see how you feel in the future. I personally would need to drop her.

AhhhhThatsBass · 10/06/2018 23:54

I’m probably far too late to the party but I’d have been inclined to reply with something like. “Mr biscusting will be devasted. He thought his banter was on point this weekend”.

imweirdandcool · 11/06/2018 00:00

Bitch

UpstartCrow · 11/06/2018 00:03

I really doubt her therapist told her to publicly blog her experiences with other people, she's trying it on. And it does sound like she needs setting straight about visiting again.

TantricTwist · 11/06/2018 00:09

So you should still invite her for the weekend in July but just not be in when she gets there ie go away for a nice weekend break with DH and on your door pin up a laminated copy of her so called review.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 11/06/2018 00:10

Yes I think you need to make it crystal clear that it has affected things and that obviously you won’t be hosting her in July, or she might well assume she’s got away with it and be expecting a return visit.

emmyrose2000 · 11/06/2018 00:19

She hope’s we can put it behind us and it won’t affect our friendship

I'd either :
(1) just text back 'what friendship?' and then block her;
Or
(2) just block her.

I wouldn't mention July, as I'd be interested in seeing if she has the balls to simply turn up. I'd kind of hope she would, so I could slam the door in her face.

If her depression story is true, it's still no excuse to behave so badly and treat your so-called friends like shit, so that would have no sway with me.

SnowGoArea · 11/06/2018 00:27

Let her come in July.

Then take great delight in setting it all up like a b&b (mini-fridge with a price list that includes a €5 Crunchie etc). A little sign requesting that you leave a tripadviser review. Not allowed in your room from 10am-5pm etc. Then a bill for the cleaning afterwards when she leaves a stain on the sheets.

That would be loads of fun plus you could rest assured she'd never speak to you again Grin

Rhiannon13 · 11/06/2018 00:29

Definitely misplaced 'humour'. Anything, ANYTHING to get attention on Facebook. I very much doubt she even considered how the post might make you feel, as long as she got lots and lots and lots of likes. Don't waste time reviewing her back but do make sure to cancel the return visit.

BakedBeans47 · 11/06/2018 00:32

Her text is arse covering of the highest order, just can see her freeloading in July going for a Burton.

You’re plainly really nice OP and she’s a horrible person

siwel123 · 11/06/2018 00:39

Make it very clear that she is not staying in July.

sadiekate · 11/06/2018 00:40

I have suffered from mental health problems all my adult life and often use Facebook as an outlet for talking about what's going on, I find it really helpful.
That's not what she's done though! She's publicly insulted and humiliated you and repaid your generosity in a horrible manner.
Mental health isn't an excuse for unkindness. It means you see the world in a skewed way. It doesn't mean you have lost sight of right and wrong.
And she "didn't think you'd see it"? That makes it worse! It's okay to be mean about someone behind their back? I don't think so.

FrogFairy · 11/06/2018 00:44

I think you need to be clear about her not coming in July.

I would keep it brief, along the lines of “I am afraid the damage to our friendship is irreparable and you will not be welcome in my home again.”

Fivelittleduckies · 11/06/2018 00:53

Her “review” is hardly her processing her feelings, it is just a blatant critique of your hospitality. Don’t feel bad ending the friendship there, I certainly wouldn’t want to see her again if I were you..

zzzzz · 11/06/2018 01:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCrabbyTree · 11/06/2018 03:29

I, too, call bullshit on her explanation and even if there was an inkling of truth what she said/believes that does not take away your humiliation and hurt. By rights she should have posted a heartfelt apology on that FB post for all to see then, after it has been read, take down the whole post.

If you can be bothered I would tell her the friendship has been affected and she is not now welcome to stay in July. (Me, I couldn't trust her to not do a similar post after any visit as she doesn't come across as truly remorseful.)

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