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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

999 replies

Biscusting · 09/06/2018 21:25

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

OP posts:
StrangeLookingParasite · 10/06/2018 23:13

She hope’s we can put it behind us and it won’t affect our friendship. = I can stay with you in July, can't I?

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:14

Exactly, she's a CF who wants agree stay. After that if it were me, I would never expect to stay with op again.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking · 10/06/2018 23:14

I would reply thanking her for taking the post down, and that you are happy to put it behind you but at this stage you feel it's best that she finds alternative accommodation in July.

Original poster
Biscusting · 10/06/2018 23:15

Shitting hell!! I hope she doesn’t still think the invitation is open for July!

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:15

Tell her that you are hurt and it has affected you, it is best if she finds alternative accommodation for July. My goodness she is cheeky.

Glaciferous · 10/06/2018 23:16

Just say 'sorry, but this has definitely affected our friendship and you need to find other accommodation for July'. And don't reply to any further overtures. She is horrid.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:16

You have to make it clear to her that July and anytime in the foreseeable future is off.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:17

Also reiterate that your DH was upsetsnddows not want her here again.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:17

Upset doh

LineRunners · 10/06/2018 23:18

I'd wait and tell her the morning of her next visit that she's not welcome. At the very latest the night before.

SuitedandBooted · 10/06/2018 23:19

You have to tell her straight out that the July holiday is not happening.
She will expect to come otherwise, seeing as you are "friends".

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:20

My goodness she is so stupid and has more front than Buckingham Palace.

sonjadog · 10/06/2018 23:21

Yeah, tell herJuly’s off.

TheKarateKitty · 10/06/2018 23:21

She’s lying, and what a horrible thing to use mental health as an excuse. What therapist would recommend using something not private as a diary? How was posting about a stay at yours handling depression? What a crock and a nasty thing as there are people that actually have mental health issues.

No, she wants to stay in July at Casa Biscuiting for free. She deleted you, she didn’t know you would see it because oh yeah, you’re not that close friends and not very active on FB. People that don’t contact you for a long stretch, then contact out of the blue ask for a favor... they are users.

Doesn’t want it to affect your friendship? What friendship?

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:21

Just tell her,byes it has affected our friendship, it is best if you find aternativeaccomodatio for July. Than delete and block.

LighthouseSouth · 10/06/2018 23:21

In normal circumstances I don't think ghosting a friend is okay

In this case, I'd do it!

bonnyshide · 10/06/2018 23:22

I call bullshit...this whole 'journaling' on FB to process her depression etc. It's all just an excuse for being a total bitch, on social media. Unacceptable and unkind.

At least you called her out on it and the post has been removed.

From now on I would ignore all attempt at communication from her, she is not a nice person.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 23:23

She only contacted you initially, so shevcabyaea free stay so she does not payfora hotel. She is one CF

Hissy · 10/06/2018 23:23

I think you’ve been way more restrained than most op!

She’s lying through her teeth!

She trashed the weekend, saying it was OK - not because of HER mood, she called your breakfast underwhelming and your husband ‘dry’ aka boring. And she bitched about the bed you made up for her.

She’s not depressed, depression doesn’t make you say mean things about friends!

Mxyzptlk · 10/06/2018 23:24

"Unfortunately, it has affected our friendship and it would feel very awkward for us to host you again."

Tistheseason17 · 10/06/2018 23:25

I think you will need to clarify the lack of accommodation in July as she will just turn up. CF.

LoveProsecco · 10/06/2018 23:25

She is rude, thoughtless & not funny

LoveProsecco · 10/06/2018 23:26

She is rude, thoughtless & not funny

Leeds2 · 10/06/2018 23:26

I think you need to make it absolutely clear to her that the July invitation has been withdrawn. Or she will turn up.

Gemini69 · 10/06/2018 23:27

OP I suspect your kindness has been your weakness on this occasion...

It's awful that your 'friend' slated your kind generosity on an online public platform.. and then uses her 'mental well being' as her reasons for doing that... it's cruel and humiliating to you and your DH .. and mutual friends can see.. I notice she doesn't humiliate herself in these little vlogs...

She may well be unwell and needs the therapy... but her actions and behaviour are inexcusable ..

I agree with everyone here OP.. ignore and block... whilst reassuring her that July is off.... Flowers