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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

999 replies

Biscusting · 09/06/2018 21:25

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 10/06/2018 17:49

The only opinion that will be tainted will be hers, because who else would put her up with her 'reviews'?

Says much more about 'friend' than OP

WetPaint4 · 10/06/2018 17:52

So, realising you're not happy with her review, she's unfriended you to stop you exposing her on Facebook? You're well rid of her, a proper friend would have apologised and removed the post.

LexieLulu · 10/06/2018 18:07

I'd call her and speak to her! She's fucking rude!!!

TheKarateKitty · 10/06/2018 18:11

I’m sorry this happened to you. She’s a user and childish, to say the least. I suppose the silver lining is that you found out now, and she won’t be using you and your husband again.

The way she ignored you and deleted you from her friends list confirms it wasn’t a crappy joke, and it’s certainly not behavior related to ASD. I wish people would stop associating shit behavior with it. My son has AD, is 13, and he found this situation horrible.

That she unfriend-ed you shows, as a PP stated, she didn’t want you to post and tag her/comment.

toolazytothinkofausername · 10/06/2018 18:21

Biscusting I wish I could give you a huge hug! What a nasty woman that "friend" turned out to be. I'm so sorry you had to go through this :(

HarryDaylight · 10/06/2018 18:23

I wonder if she is jealous of your life and home? Her behaviour is so sour and mean spirited.

DesertSky · 10/06/2018 18:25

Sorry to hear that OP. I think as she publically embarrassed you I would’ve added a comment on her post saying “Ouch. Since when was it acceptable to critique a friend’s hospitality?”
Better off without her tbh. Sounds like she just used you. Flowers

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 18:29

I hate it when shit behaviour is associated by lay professionals as ASD, no it's shit behaviour. Some people are just nasty without having any sn!

Biscusting · 10/06/2018 18:42

Thanks for the messages of support, I’m glad my rage and shock is justified. DH thinks I should just forget about it and move on. She never featured in our day to day lives, no loss yadda yadda...

I’ve sent a private message to old friend who ‘liked’ the post. He thought it was a joke and admitted he skimmed it. It was an epically long post to be fair.

I guess I’m best just letting it go.

OP posts:
Starlight345 · 10/06/2018 19:03

You are fine to feel hurt and angry . You have been treated very badly by someone you thought was your friend.

You deserved better

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 10/06/2018 19:07

I was thinking that friends who liked the post weren't really giving it much thought or perhaps focusing on her lengthy critique of this tourist attraction? Don't take the "Likes" personally. I hate Facebook.

I'm not surprised you're hurt because you were old friends from university and probably have fond memories of that time in your life. I think you can separate that from how your friend is now. People change. Some turn into twats unfortunately Sad

ChocEggNoThanks · 10/06/2018 19:10

I think she sounds jealous of you and she has also forgotten you are FB friends. Sorry OP. At least you know what she's really like. It would be worth sending a brief 'warning' message to mutual friends to avoid any hosting requests.

Baubletrouble43 · 10/06/2018 19:16

Echoing pp who says linking to asd is annoying. No one I know with asd would behave like this in a million years.

Honeyroar · 10/06/2018 19:28

To unfriend you shows she's a coward as well as rude.

You could send her the PM "you clearly weren't much of a friend anyway, no loss." Then forget her and move on.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2018 19:47

Listen to your dh, just leave it, good riddance to her, I think more fool to her, she made herself look really bad, and not a very nice person. So she is the one who ends up with egg on her face, not you.

Tbh if I read that on FAcebook, I would think, wow your not very nice are you, and my opinion of her would lower. I might even leave a comment saying something like "not very nice to slate your friends hospitality like that" or wow not very nice of you. Least I would press the wow emoji.

KreigersClones · 10/06/2018 19:52

I’m agree with a pp. She unfriended you in case you wrote something publicly on her wall that would make her look bad

Dominoz · 10/06/2018 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dominoz · 10/06/2018 19:53

I am absolutely gobsmacked at her cheek.

OP you should be proud of how you dealt with this situation.

No loss at being unfriended but feel for you as you haven't done anything wrong except host someone, in my view well, out of the blue ThanksThanksThanks

NorthEndGal · 10/06/2018 19:56

Sounds like you're well rid!

GreenItWas · 10/06/2018 20:01

Fucking HELL! What the actual fuck is wrong with her that she thinks this is a perfectly OK way to behave? Fucking bloody fuck is all I can think to say about this but I have had wine. I would like to add the following. Fuck. The end.

Usernameunknown2 · 10/06/2018 20:13

What a complete twat. Plus a user. I would block her because its likely that, after she has punished you with silence and unfriending and slagged you off more, she will 'graciously' friend you again.

Just in time for July's holiday.

Anon12345ABC · 10/06/2018 20:31

Bloody hell I can't believe her reaction! You are completely justified. What a bitch!

TomaytoTomarto · 10/06/2018 20:38

She was no friend. What an oddball.

Maintain your dignity, and don't waste any more of your time thinking about this.

Mia184 · 10/06/2018 20:42

OP, had you agreed on a date in late July? If so, I can imagine that she will show up and tell you that her review was just good fun.

4n20Blackbirds · 10/06/2018 20:52

What a rude woman. I take it she's not coming in July then? 🙂