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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

999 replies

Biscusting · 09/06/2018 21:25

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

OP posts:
Lonelynessie · 10/06/2018 10:50

YY, agree to sending her a bill - the cheek of her!

Kittykat93 · 10/06/2018 10:51

Finding it difficult to believe people like this actually exist !!!!!

SurfingSally · 10/06/2018 10:53

I'd say nothing and pretend you've not seen it.

She said she might visit again...agree to her staying. Then go away that weekend. Ignore all of her 'where are you' calls and messages. Drop her right in it.

ipswichwitch · 10/06/2018 10:54

People like this certainly do exist. I’ve come across my share. Frankly I’m surprised by nothing anymore!

DashingRed · 10/06/2018 10:54

I think the people who have liked her post have interpreted it as a joke (idiots)

I agree that you should not try and match her 'humour'.

I would say the following:

"I found your review of our home and hospitality really humiliating and inappropriate. I'm not sure if you were trying to be humorous or whether you really feel that way - but either way, it was extremely rude.

I don't want to continue a friendship with someone who behaves that way. So, needless to say I won't be hosting you in July or at any other time."

Then, delete and block.

DashingRed · 10/06/2018 10:55

I think the people who have liked her post have interpreted it as a joke (idiots)

I agree that you should not try and match her 'humour'.

I would say the following:

"I found your review of our home and hospitality really humiliating and inappropriate. I'm not sure if you were trying to be humorous or whether you really feel that way - but either way, it was extremely rude.

I don't want to continue a friendship with someone who behaves that way. So, needless to say I won't be hosting you in July or at any other time."

Then, delete and block.

crispysausagerolls · 10/06/2018 10:56

DashingRed

Spot on message!

I wouldn’t delete or block though as I would give her a chance to explain herself/apologise. Certainly wouldn’t have her over again though

DashingRed · 10/06/2018 10:58

Crispy - yes you're right, don't block her immediately. You want to see her response!

KitKat1985 · 10/06/2018 11:00

Blimey. I suspect she will reply to your message with something like 'oh I only meant it as a joke, didn't mean to cause offense'.

Please don't be easily swung around by this because you would have to pretty dense not to see how this would cause offense, and she needs to at least very humbly apologise for her 'review'.

MissVanjie · 10/06/2018 11:00

Lord op have you messaged her yet?

Not sure how many more pithy fantasy responses this thread can hold

lurkingfromhome · 10/06/2018 11:03

Don't trivialise this awful behaviour with any of the stupid comedy responses just to entertain posters on this thread. The behaviour was hurtful, entirely unworthy of any friend and should be responded to appropriately. Call her out on it, publicly or privately, but make sure you get the message across that it's no laughing matter.

ohfourfoxache · 10/06/2018 11:04

Nasty bitch Sad

It’s her, not you op. You’re the normal one

squishy · 10/06/2018 11:07

OP, I'd have felt very hurt, too. Socially awkward and shy, or not, this is plain rude. If she was trying to be funny, she could have done the 'review' style but positively.

And....I'm dying to know if she replied to your message!!!

CoraPirbright · 10/06/2018 11:08

I would PM her with Dashing’s response. Horrible behavour!!

siwel123 · 10/06/2018 11:08

OP what was your reply?

Dandeliontea123 · 10/06/2018 11:09

I also like DashingRed’s message which can be used as a reply to the post as well as being sent to her privately.

What gets me is that this woman wouldn’t have dared say any of this to your face at the time, OP, but she thinks it’s acceptable to show off her semi-public thoughts to everyone else while not giving a shit that you can see the post as well. WTF??

I think you are entitled to reply publicly to her post to point out that her disgusting behaviour is not the behaviour of a friend.

fluffypudcats · 10/06/2018 11:11

"If your FB post is meant to be funny, it has backfired, big style. I am hurt and humiliated that you publicly posted this at my expense. Your post needs deleting and I would hope you have the manners to apologise for your insensitive comments on FB for the same group of people to see."

JessieMcJessie · 10/06/2018 11:15

It’s obviously a joke.

YouTheCat · 10/06/2018 11:20

I'd just put under the post 'You won't be staying again in July then'.

Dandeliontea123 · 10/06/2018 11:23

Yes - something like ‘Please feel free to find alternative accommodation for July’ with a link to your town’s tourism website.

And tag her in the post.

Jaxhog · 10/06/2018 11:23

Dear XXX

We at Hotel have read your review and we are sorry our accommodations did not meet your exacting standards. We do strive to please but we realize that our facilities may not suit all. We have passed your comments on to our staff for their review. We hope you find another establishment that more suits your needs for the next time you are in the area.

Sincerely
Biscusting, Gen Mgr

This seems the most appropriate response. It makes the message clear, while still being in the same pseudo humorous style.

LighthouseSouth · 10/06/2018 11:25

@BurnerName ooh I like your idea!

Namechangedname · 10/06/2018 11:27

Ask her why she'd want to return to a ** hotel.

tumpymummy · 10/06/2018 11:27

Placemarking for reply update!

crispysausagerolls · 10/06/2018 11:30

It’s obviously a joke.

  1. it’s not “obvious” because it’s hard to imagine that anyone would think something so offensive could be funny
  2. if it is a joke, that doesn’t automatically make it acceptable! Publicly humiliating someone and then saying “LOL JUST KIDDING” makes someone a fucking wanker and a bad friend.