Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

[Biscusting]

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

Review her stay with you.

How she acted, diva demands, did she pay fair, become bossy etc?

Rate it out of 5 stars and list possible improvements.

Then tell her straight she invited herself and won't be a returning first unless she pays and apologises for defemation of character

You can't just ignore this!
I would reply along the lines of, "I hope this is a joke"

Is this on the Daily fail yet?

Marking place for update from CF

Whether it's an ill-judged 'joke' or not depends on who she shared it with.
If OP got it in her newsfeed then it probably was meant as 'humour'. If, as stated, OP only came across when looking on CF's page for pics and had been excluded from the recipients then it is a very nasty piece of work.

I wonder if she thought she was bein hilarious? I would text her and ask her? Surely a friend who asked to stay twice at your home wouldn’t write this knowing you can read it etc unless it was intended as a joke?

Not a very funny one and way off the mark but still maybe just ask her?

Surely this calls for poetry?

With a husband too dry and a sleigh bed too high
My home doesn’t merit three stars
So don’t even try to turn up in July
If you do you’ll be out on your arse

‘I don’t find this funny. You are talking about our HOME.’

I think that it's a poor joke. She was a nice guest: sharing costs, lovely wine etc. For some reason instead of making it a generic 'funny' review she's strayed into personal territory and it really isn't funny at all. I still don't think that a friend would deliberately do this: it's just been badly misjudged.

I think (hope) that she'll be mortified to receive your message and will be full of apologies.

She sounds crazy who goes all tripadvisor while staying at friends

You HAVE to do what Lark suggests!!!

@LarkDescending that's hilarious...I would SO post this 😂😂

LarkDescending

Excellent!

Really feel for you OP as that’s a horrible thing to do to a friend, and host. If she doesn’t have insight into how inappropriate this is, no matter what possible diagnosis, she needs it.

I’d be tempted to reply under her post so she It can be seen by those who have read it (they’ll get notifications) and will know if it’s deleted.

I’d either reply succinctly

• Wow, wish we’d known you were such a publicly ungrateful guest before you stayed. You forgot to tell us it was so bad when booking in again in July.
• or a kind Review of Guest covering the points she covered e.g. conversation, it was nice to catch up and DH get to know etc; food, endeavoured to meet X’s tastes and food appeared appreciated.

Unfortunately the review was a shock and presumably her way of telling us she no longer wishes to stay again in July. Well we’ve been warned and so have others.

Correction, just read Lark and that’s perfect!
Please uae Lark’s poem.

Five stars for LarkDescending

I would definitely review her right back!

I don't think you need to do anything as this will definitely end up in the Daily Fail next week.
Hopefully she recognises herself and is suitably mortified for being the twat she is

Think of something dry and cutting to put on her FB in response.
Be classy, no swear words - show her up for the low class arse she is.
Then blank her forever more.

I'd reply saying

Wow - most people just say "thanks for having me".

Hope you're ok OP, this is all about her and now about you.

I can't imagine who she thinks is even vaguely interested in reading her stupid review. I doubt anyone will want to invite her to stay at their house in the future as she's such an ungrateful guest.

I'd ignore. She's doing enough damage TO herself BY herself.

Pathetic.

Just seen LarkDescending rhyme - perfect - reply to her with that!

See now, I'm the kind of person that would screenshot the "review" and say nothing about it or initiate any kind of conversation with her. When she turns up at the door in July expecting to stay, hand her a printout of the review and say "Oh, I thought this was your cancellation for your stay" close the door and resume my life as if she never existed.

Should she bring up the question of staying in July, direct her to her review and state you understood it to be her cancellation and ending the conversation there.

I'm a complete cow though and have cut people from my life for less....

OP. Find out how much two star budget accommodation costs in your area and send her a bill.

Same for any meals and drinks you provided.

Dont' forget commission for any organising might have done.

And if you gave her any lifts don't forget to add the extra for the taxi/uber equivalent.

Maybe not a serious bill, as in expecting it will be paid, but could be good to remind her on her post exactly how much she saved by staying with you?

If the place you live is very popular it could be quite a lot.

Don’t reply with a review , she may take that as you seeing it as being amusing
I’d be very blunt , what a nasty spiteful thing to do
She has insulted you , your home , your husband and your hospitality