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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

999 replies

Biscusting · 09/06/2018 21:25

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

OP posts:

ParellelReality · 10/06/2018 08:50

I don't believe people like that exist either.

daimbars · 10/06/2018 08:52

I would screen shot the review in case she deletes and denies. Then share it with us blanking out her name :)

She sounds utterly bonkers. I would definitely comment on it.

worridmum · 10/06/2018 08:52

I would not say anything wait til she shows up in july and say sorry your saw the review now you obviously not up to her standards so she cannot stay.

Plus in july most places will be full or cost a fortune.

Anniegetyourgun · 10/06/2018 08:52

Don't keep sneering at OP for not using the recommended replies, please (as a small minority seem to be doing). Many of them are indeed hilarious, but it's the OP's life, she's the one who's been insulted along with her DH, and she's the one who is going to have to live with any fallout. There is no rush to deal with it. She has every right to take her time working out the most appropriate response and to deliver it in the way she is most comfortable with. The suggestions may well help with this but, despite having posted for people's views, that doesn't mean she is obliged to do what they say.

lostfrequencies · 10/06/2018 08:58

Bonkers.

sleepingdragons · 10/06/2018 08:59

I think the mental health posts are the clue to solving this.

I reckon there's a good chance she thinks she's being funny, but she's missed the mark (by a mile!)

I think "wow" and contacting her privately is the best way to go.

Ignore the people here goading you into saying anything you don't really want to, for their entertainment

Fengshui · 10/06/2018 09:00

Oh OP. I hope you do manage to say something.

I wish I had said something when friends of DH's parents invited themselves to stay (we are also in a popular tourist area) and spent the weekend criticising our decor, my housekeeping, my food, how I trained the dogs and how I pruned my roses (following me around the garden todo so when I was trying to get away from them).

Then they sent a helpful followup 'thank you' letter which contained their suggestions about how we could extend our sitting room into a conservatory arrangement.

I swallowed it - 10 years ago and it still gives me the rage!

whiteonred · 10/06/2018 09:03

If you put one of the 'witty' responses she might think you are joining in the spirit of things.
If you want to post publicly I would just go for one of the direct suggestions, ' We welcomed you into our home. This is rude and hurtful.' Or if you don't want a public show down (and all her friends who don't know you might jump to her defence on FB) just text to say you found it hurtful or even just text to say you aren't free in July anymore and then cut her dead from there on.
'Jokes' like this are not funny when they are at the expense of someone who has been kind to you. Sorry this has happened to you OP.

RisingPheonix · 10/06/2018 09:13

I'd reply like a GM on Tripadvisor.

Sorry to hear that you did not enjoy your stay with us. We take guest feedback here at Biscusting B&B. We will review your feedback and if necessary make the necessary improvements. Given your needs you may wish to check out the Premier Inn on XXXX street for your next visit in July.

SimonBridges · 10/06/2018 09:17

As you say she is socially awkward I think this is a very misjudged joke. It’s the kind of thing you could say to a close friend but not to someone you’ve not seen in years.

Just like if a close friend has a broken arm you can say ‘what did you do you silly twat?’ whereas a friend who is not a close you would say ‘oh no, that looks really bad, what did you do?’

JessicaJonesJacket · 10/06/2018 09:19

Although an alternate review could seem 'fun'. It's actually just bringing yourself down to her level and implying you enjoyed the joke. You didn't.

Only drama queens and MN posters would get into competing reviews on a FB post.

Call or message your 'friend' and ask her wtaf she was thinking. You need to have a private conversation about this - then you can dis-invite her if you want.

GreenTulips · 10/06/2018 09:21

It’s the kind of thing you could say to a close friend

Yes because I always tell my friends their husbands are dull and their decor is awful .....

tomhazard · 10/06/2018 09:23

Wtf?! I think she's trying to be funny but it's not really panned out. I would cancel your plan in July and tell her to jog on

Mumminmum · 10/06/2018 09:23

It comes up a lot here that people say they can't post this and that on their Facebooks page as they also have FB-friends who shouldn't see a post like that. What you do is: You write your post and before you press the "post" button, you click the "Friends" button under the post. Here you can choose "Friends except for" and than a list of all your friends will turn up and you can decide which friends should see the post.

The majority of my Facebook friends think I rarely post anything, when in fact it is because they are not on my posting list.

When we had a family party at work I took a lot of photos, but I figured that some of my coworkers might not want photos of their children on facebook. So I made a posting list with only my coworkers for those photos.

tomhazard · 10/06/2018 09:23

Wtf?! I think she's trying to be funny but it's not really panned out. I would cancel your plan in July and tell her to jog on

Strongmummy · 10/06/2018 09:26

I really wouldn’t reply on Facebook. I’d message her privately and tell her you saw it, found it hurtful and leave it at that. I wouldn’t want her in my life

RideSallyRide76 · 10/06/2018 09:26

I'm another vote for misguided humour but wtf so, so rude!!

I'd go for a fab post on her wall reviewing her skills as a guest, reminding her that her bill hasn't been settled yet and wishing her luck with wherever she stays in July.

HotNoodle · 10/06/2018 09:30

Cheeky cow!
I'd send her an invoice as she seems to think she was staying in a hotel!

TheVeryHungryDieter · 10/06/2018 09:34

I’d send a text along the lines of “Did you really mean to publicly humiliate me with your critique of me, my home and my partner in your Facebook review? I found it extremely hurtful.”

Invite an explanation and leave her in no doubt how it has made you feel but without directly criticising her in return.

flowerslemonade · 10/06/2018 09:40

I wouldn't make a joke out of it personally. I'd tell her I found what she wrote hurtful.

TheLionRoars1110 · 10/06/2018 09:41

I'd message her privately and tell her I'm hurt. Some things are better kept private.

snewname · 10/06/2018 09:41

I'd pull her up on it on Facebook. At least the others who liked it might feel ashamed too and think of their own part in it.

gryffen · 10/06/2018 09:43

Review her stay with you.

How she acted, diva demands, did she pay fair, become bossy etc?

Rate it out of 5 stars and list possible improvements.

Then tell her straight she invited herself and won't be a returning first unless she pays and apologises for defemation of character

hollyholightly · 10/06/2018 09:43

She's a massive cunt.

If you do a review back it would look like you don't mind her review.

I'd want to rip her a new one but it's better to not get into Facebook drama.

Best to message her saying could you take that review down please I don't like it. Then don't have her in July. Or ever see her again.

MarthasGinYard · 10/06/2018 09:45

I'd just email her

'Hi Alex Politzi, I'll cancel your future booking'

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