Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

[Biscusting]

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

Yes she needs pulling up on this totally unacceptable behaviour op.

Ha I like bridgetosomewhere‘s response! You don’t even need to say anything else

or "wow, is this how you treat my hospitality, when we made you welcome in my home" Short, concise, dignified to the point.

What a weirdo. I would put the comment you made in your OP under her post 'have you kids mistaken FB for trip advisor? And my home for a hotel? I take it you won't becoming to stay again in July as you planned. And by the way, for the benefit of everyone else, X invited herself to stay and I went to some lengths to host her. Nice to see she is so grateful isn't it? '. And then block her.

I would probably reply with 'did you mean to be so rude? Here, you will need this for July' (send link to booking.com).

Thats only humorous if the friend being reviewed is in on the joke and they both planned it as a funny rebuttal. Otherwise it is rude, especially with remarks on your dh and home.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

Yes. Tell her to fuck off instead.

That’s awful, OP. How can someone be so ungrateful . I think it sounds like a lovely weekend.

I can’t believe anyone could be this deliberately rude

Rude and nasty hope you’ve replied now op

I'd not say anything then cancel in July a week before she's due to stay. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

“I do not find this post funny. It is abusing my hospitality and company after welcoming you into my home (where you asked to stay). This is not trip advisor, it’s a public forum where we share mutual friends, and the return July trip you were keen on should maybe be reconsidered as a result”

To the point, remaining polite but firm.

Fucking rude bitch.

The MN CF of the year has now been demoted to just someone with a type of SN - no one is quite sure which sort of SN, but the ex CF definitely has one.

The CF is really just a very rude person and the OP is ignoring all the advice/suggestions that are being given.

Fabulous.

Well, she messaged her friend with a mixture of two posters’ advice. So not quite ignoring it, is she?

What???

The only way this could possibly be slightly funny would be if it was being read by people who know the Op and was an obvious "I mean the opposite really" type post. So if shared only with a group of friends who always rave about the Ops taste in home decor, her amazing cooking skills and how funny and interesting her DH is. But that's not what she's done so it's a big fat FAIL!

I definitely wouldn't go with "witty" trip advisor type responses because those reading (who haven't a clue who Op is) will have some vague impression that so called friend stayed in a guesthouse/B&B!
I'd keep it short and to the point, something like - maybe I'm having a sense of humour failure but you don't invite yourself to stay with your old uni friend and then take the piss out of her home, husband etc on Facebook. I'd suggest you book yourself somewhere for your planned July trip as our spare room won't be available.

How about 'where do I send the invoice?'

I would reply with "If you found it so underwhelming, why are you coming back to stay with us in July? Anyway, we have changed our minds and upped our standard of guests. Please find yourself alternate accommodation for your future trips. Good luck!"

I’d write, luckily you won’t have to stay there again CIAO!

or,

It didn't seem that bad when you were scoffing freshly prepared pastries that I got up early to make you ?
Cancelling your request to return in July

Sounds like she is trying to be one of these bloggers who gather a following for witty no holds barred posts.

You don't have to become collateral damage.

I'd be careful replying to the actual post as some may find funny and turn on you as "having no SOH" etc.

But I would reply something about how you'll reduce her bill as she's unhappy with stay to just £100 and cancel her booking for July as it's clearly not her cup of tea.

I genuinely can't believe people like her exist. Wtf!

“Dear CF, thank you for taking the time to post this detailed review. We value the feedback from all our guests and strive to improve. In view of the long list of issues you encountered during your recent stay the Hotel Biscusting will be closing with immediate effect for extensive refurbishment. We regret that any future reservations are cancelled permanently.”