Friend spends the weekend with me then ‘reviews’ her experience, wtf!?

[Biscusting]

Friend has been good friend during our uni days. We’ve loosely kept in touch over the years, but different career choices, interests, distance and children have pushed us in different directions.

She messages me out out of the blue to ask about staying a weekend with us. We live in an area popular with tourists.

I’m feeling a bit put out, as don’t fancy hosting, but we had no concrete plans and thought it would be a nice catch up.

Anyway she stays we have dinner out one night. She’s spends a day visiting a popular attraction and we have a nice evening in with a selection of nibbles, pizza, cheese and wine etc. Uneventful, pleasant weekend I feel.

Now i’ve just been browsing FB and looked on her page to see if she’d posted any pictures. To find she’d written quite a lengthy post about her stay. I don’t want to copy and paste, but basically it’s along the lines of, ‘had an okay weekend with Biscusting, staying at her place. Found the breakfast underwhelming and conversation with her DH a bit dry.
The sleigh bed in the guest room was too high and I bumped on the wooden edge so often I have a bruise. The room was too small.’.....the WiFi speed was poor at best’

She goes on to critique the decor and waffles on a lot about the tourist attraction she visited. Then ends the post with ‘all in all i’d give her two stars’

Wtaf is this!? Has she mistaken FB for trip advisor and my home for a hotel!?

We don’t have many shared friends, but people have liked her bloody post. 13 people!

Now the thing is she talked about coming back at the end of July for an exhibition and we made relatively firm plans about her return.

AIBU to tell her to jog on?

Ouch. Can you private message her and ask her what the hell she meant by that post? Maybe it was a terrible attempt at humour gone wrong, or maybe she’s just mean and disloyal... but I’d give her the chance to explain before you decide what to do.

I wouldn't do any kind of 'review' style reply. She misinterpret it as playing along, and make things even more awkward.

• I'm stunned you think it's amusing to be so rude and hurtful about our hospitality. Enjoy your stay in the Travelodge in July -

would defo send her a hotel type invoice for her stay after this! don't let it go!

Have you commented on it yet?

If you don't want people to see just send her a message asked wtf are they thinking with your review?!

Or better still call them and outright ask

Exactly! Cooked fucking pastries!!

I’m going to reply with ‘wow’ and message her about being hurt.

Reading back on her other recent posts they are a weird sort of mix of blog-style posts, and lots of those ‘share if you agree’ type things mostly about mental health.

If you’re making a joke then you don’t slag off the decor or the husband’s conversation! Especially not when you presumably don’t know the couple very well. At a push, I might make a jokey review like this about my BIL - something like ‘had to put up with the host banging on about Arsenal all weekend!’ but we are very close and have that kind of humour established in our relationship. Comments about the decor and WiFi speed can’t really be taken any other way, though!

As a comment on her post:

"I can't work out whether this is supposed to be making fun of me, or you were genuinely disappointed with your stay at my home and wanted to give it a bad 'review'. Whatever it was, it really stung that you posted it on here for all to see and laugh at. I think I'll say no to your request to come again in July as the idea of another stay in my house critiqued on FB is hardly something to look forward to."

HomeBird
It’s less than two hours since the first post. Perhaps Biscusting wants to think about the contents of her response and doesn’t shoot first and think later

I disagree, if she is ‘really humiliated’ by it I think doing nothing is an odd thing to do. It will prolong the humiliation and the drama. All the OP needs to do is to send a text and ask her friend to remove the post.

I know that’s a boring solution compared with all the witty comebacks suggested on this thread but if the OP is actually feeling humiliated it would be for the best.

If one of my friends did this I would 100% assume they were making a (bad) joke. Otherwise I’d wonder if she was losing the plot a bit and actually be a bit worried. It’s a really, really unusual and socially unacceptable thing to do. I just can’t imagine anyone doing it unless they were unwell or joking.

I agree with this. With some close friends I would know it was 100% a joke, they meant the opposite and I might even find it quite funny. But with someone you haven't seen in years it's a long way from funny.

I wouldn't post on facebook about it though; that's humiliating. I'd send her a text/private message and just say, 'I don't know if you meant it as a joke but I'm really hurt by what you wrote on facebook about your stay with me. I'd rather you didn't come again if that's what you really think of me, my family and my home.'

Just put

"ouch, sounds terrible, you won't be staying there again will you!"

I'd post "Did you ask for a refund? How much did you pay for that?"

Wow what a shit thing to do to someone!!!

YANBU OP!

You can't possibly see her in July. The chance of you being arrested is too high

You need to say something on there. "Wow" would probably do it, but I'd write more. "Wow, you invited yourself and we had a good weekend and now you're writing this? I've changed my mind - I don't want to see you in July. Or any other time."

Sod it. Just text her saying you are very hurt by what she has put on Facebook and ask her to delete it.
I don't think you need to say any more. But I'd damn well not be inviting her back in July! Your poor dh!

She sounds like a right twat. Joke or not.

I would tell her to go to Hell and not return ..

A simple 'WTF?' would do me. And maybe a link to the local Travelodge.

It sounds like a mismatched sense of humour between you, but on her part a little close to the bone.

Has she been binge watching the hotel inspector? Rude person and no friend

Your colleagues should be on your ‘acquaintances’ or ‘restricted’ list on Facebook, then you select your posts to be visible to ‘friends except acquaintances’

I would post this then block her:

Thank you for the unexpected feedback, we will take your comments under advisement. In light of your review you will understand that we are no longer available to host you in July.

Picked jaw up off the floor...the cheeky cow!
Perhaps you should reply... "Had a request from a distant person I used to be friends with several years ago asking if she could have a free weekend staying with me and my family,was put on the spot so reluctantly agreed.
Guest was untidy,went off out for the day just returning for free meals.not very communicative,obviously just here because this is a popular tourist area.offered no help or to pay for anything,left her room a tip.
Never again will I allow her back"😂

How utterly bizarre.

I think I would comment on it and say, “Well, this is rude. Feel free to stay in a hotel next time.”

And then unfriend her.

binge watching the hotel inspector

True if she has curly hair, a nasally voice and a penchant for dangly earrings then your old uni mate is actually The Hotel Inspector. And possibly suffering some sort of pyschotic episode. What was in those pastries?

As tempted as I'd be to write a stinging Tripadvisor style post in direct reply, I think that could backfire.

I think a gentle reproof along the lines of 'I'm really sorry that you didn't enjoy your stay with us. Probably best if you don't stay with us in July.'

No need to unfriend or block, give her the chance to explain why she's been such an utter shit, and if she doesn't, you know you're done with her. If she does reply (in whatever way), then you can take it from there.

I’m genuinely shocked at her rudeness. Definitely message her privately and let her know you are not happy with her ‘review’