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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My fucking husband!!!

102 replies

Babysharkdoo · 09/06/2018 15:34

So, husband has a sis and bro and his bro is currently divorcing his heating wife.

In the car this afternoon and bro comes up in conversation (by him) and I say that I hope he has better luck with his next partner than he has had with this one and his previous....

Dh says ‘Well, he needs to change his ways. He needs to stop going for these really attractive women, and stop just choosing a partner because they look good’

Now, dh never says anything vaguely complimentary about me. Sil has been pretty awful to me (and dh) and this is the second time he has complimented her looks. The first was when he was talking to our neighbours and said that she was very glamorous (again, he would NEVER) say that about me. Indeed, I am often called slovenly, lazy and embarrassing by dh.

Aibu to be pissed off? Because I am currently raging!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Babysharkdoo · 09/06/2018 15:34

Cheating wife not heating wife!

OP posts:
whereiscaroline · 09/06/2018 15:35

I think the issue here is what he says about you rather than what he's saying about exSIL.

He calls you slovenly and lazy?!

IHaveBrilloHair · 09/06/2018 15:36

Ouch, that must sting.

HellenaHandbasket · 09/06/2018 15:36

If he wasn't rude about you normally his point would be fine. You can think someone else is attractive but that it shouldn't be the sole point of attraction.

whydoineedanickname · 09/06/2018 15:36

I’d be more concerned that he’s calling you horrible names rather than worrying about what he thinks of his sister in law.

4n20Blackbirds · 09/06/2018 15:36

Well first of all LTB

But kind of seriously if he insults you and compliment his sil then why you with him.?

Confusedbeetle · 09/06/2018 15:36

Maybe he is one of these men who categorises women into glamorous cheaters or other women.

Happypuppy · 09/06/2018 15:36

I’d have binned him off for the slovenly, lazy and embarrassing comments! I’m not surprised you’re raging.

MrsZB · 09/06/2018 15:36

This is about you and your DHs relationship nothing to do with his comments about SIL.

Waitingonasmiley42 · 09/06/2018 15:36

There's nothing wrong with what he said about her. If she's attractive what's wrong with saying it?

Theres something very wrong with the comments he's made about you. What an awful way to speak to your partner.

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 09/06/2018 15:37

YANBU - your DH sounds really horrible Sad

FASH84 · 09/06/2018 15:37

I think you're taking it out of context. He's essentially saying his brother has bad taste in women which you'd already said. Also surely it's a positive you weren't chosen as a trophy wife but because he loves all aspects of you?

MrsZB · 09/06/2018 15:37

His comments about SIL sound fine to me. Comments about you are AWFUL. But talk about that with him. Don’t piggy back off some innocuous comments about SIL.

NewYearNewMe18 · 09/06/2018 15:38

I've read your OP three times and no where can I see any reference to you, apart from you making a comment about SIL all about you.

FASH84 · 09/06/2018 15:38

Posted too early, the issue is the slovenly/lazy comments as long as you're sure he's not just joking around

Original poster
Babysharkdoo · 09/06/2018 15:39

I said to dh that his bro’s wife is actually rather plain looking (which she is) and he said ‘well I think she is attractive, she’s a good looking girl. She’s not a nice person though’.

Hole dug a bit deeper and I lost my temper to be told I’m pathetic.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 09/06/2018 15:39

ffs, dickish comments from him keep coming. Bet you feel great and confident being with a guy like that

Branleuse · 09/06/2018 15:39

id consider telling him that its obviously not a foolproof strategy, as you married his ugly arse and yet hes still a dick

Cambionome · 09/06/2018 15:41

FASH have you read the fucking thread??!

He calls the op "slovenly, lazy and embarrassing"... how is that "loving all aspects of her?" Confused

Original poster
Babysharkdoo · 09/06/2018 15:41

Branleus 😂

OP posts:
Cambionome · 09/06/2018 15:42

Apologies FASH - just read your second post.

Original poster
Babysharkdoo · 09/06/2018 15:45

Yes, I am called lazy and slovenly and various other things....and never complimented.

When I lost my shit in the car and said he never compliments me but will compliment that cheating bitch whilst simultaneously putting me down, he threw in ‘well, you’re attractive. Grow up, you’re pathetic’

I feel fucking shit.

OP posts:
HushabyeMountainGoat · 09/06/2018 15:49

I was hoping that he was making the point that he loves you for your personality and doesn't care how you look. Are you lazy??

But from your other posts it doesn't sound like it.

IamXXHearMeRoar · 09/06/2018 15:50

What are his good points? Because from everything you have said he should be single right now and most definitely sleeping alone!

Allthewaves · 09/06/2018 15:53

Well he's not complimenting ex imo. He's saying she's all looks and no substance.

Completely separate issue from what he says to you about your looks.