My fucking husband!!!

[Babysharkdoo]

So, husband has a sis and bro and his bro is currently divorcing his heating wife.

In the car this afternoon and bro comes up in conversation (by him) and I say that I hope he has better luck with his next partner than he has had with this one and his previous....

Dh says ‘Well, he needs to change his ways. He needs to stop going for these really attractive women, and stop just choosing a partner because they look good’

Now, dh never says anything vaguely complimentary about me. Sil has been pretty awful to me (and dh) and this is the second time he has complimented her looks. The first was when he was talking to our neighbours and said that she was very glamorous (again, he would NEVER) say that about me. Indeed, I am often called slovenly, lazy and embarrassing by dh.

Aibu to be pissed off? Because I am currently raging!!!!

he probably hasn't thought of how that would sound to you coming out, but to say you are slovenly, lazy and embarrassing??? horrible.

Dooley, he knows exactly how it sounds. He does it all the time. I’ve stopped getting upset over it

Juells, yes. So much of what you say ....yes.

Essentially he makes me feel like I’m unworthy and not good enough. I’m a very strong person but have low self esteem (thank you to my crap parents who I don’t see or hear from). I lost my job when I was on mat leave with my eldest and it made sense to stay at home (have two dc close together). I’ve now been out of my field for 3 yrs. the job I had was great but lots of travel so would not fit at all with any kind of work/life balance.

Oh, I also run a couple of small businesses (very small, nothing to set the world on fire but pocket money all the same), whilst caring for our dcs 24/7 and keeping our home.....so I know I’m not lazy despite the put downs.

Once dc are a little older I will have some time to get my act together. At that point he should rightly be worried (but I bet he won’t be, because he is also arrogant as well as misogynistic) because I absolutely won’t take this as my life ad infinitum. I love him and have given him everything. Its been thrown in my face repeatedly and he knows I’m currently vulnerable (no income so no financial independence). Well, I am intelligent enough to realise this is EA and I was niaive to believe it would change.... but I will make damn sure i won’t always be financially dependent on him, or anyone else, ever again.

You live and learn.

I will put up with what I have to until I can do what needs to be done. I will also crawl on hot coals for my dc so don’t want to pull their family apart if I can put up with it whilst I get a proper, workable and stable plan I’m place.

Another poster hit the nail on the head, I will get my career back, be back to looking glamorous and all of a sudden I will become ‘the desirable woman’ again, but it will be too late and I won’t be falling into that trap again! Fuck that!