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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she should have waited her turn?

216 replies

Flaming0 · 08/06/2018 18:20

We were at the supermarket and DS (3) was playing in one of those car rides that are often found there. He loves pretending to drive the car, but is terrified of it moving and making noises, so I never put money in them (tried it once and he got scared).

DS had been sitting in the driving seat for a minute or so when an older girl (about 5) came up with a pound in her hand and pushed in front of him to turn the car on. When the car started moving, he leapt out of it and started crying. I told him to just wait a couple of minutes until the girl was done. But I thought she should have waited her turn. Even though she was going to pay for the ride, she could have waited a bit and I would have told DS to give the girl her turn. She shouldn’t have pushed her way in front of DS. There was only one seat in the car so they couldn’t have both used it anyway. Her parents were nowhere to be seen. AIBU?

OP posts:
Sprogletsmuvva · 10/06/2018 18:30

I seem to see a lot of grown adults who apparently think it’s fine to occupy things to the exclusion of paying customers, eg massage chairs in the local shopping centre lounged on by randoms who huff & puff a bit if you ask them to move so you can actually pay to use it, big sports shop used as a ‘toy library’ / crèche by parents .

Having grown up as someone who genuinely couldn’t pay to do a lot of non-essential stuff, I have no problem with these facilities being someone’ trade. Stealing bread from a starving child’s mouth, it is not.

vincettenoir · 10/06/2018 18:38

I agree with you that she should have waited her turn. But 5 is very young and that’s the kind of thing that 5 years olds do.

nostaples · 10/06/2018 18:46

Hang on, the girl got on/in the car when the ds was already on it? Finding it difficult to envisage but that is rude, whether or not the machine was on. Just as with a swing, she should have asked first. Five is little, but it's never too early to be taught some manners. In the absence of the parents, I don't think it's unreasonable to say, 'It's polite to wait your turn and say excuse me'. However, more of an issue is parents sending a five year old off on her own, even if they were elsewhere in the supermarket. It's easy to lose young children in a busy supermarket. I've panicked when I couldn't find mine when they were a lot older than that.

nostaples · 10/06/2018 18:50

It is also a bit odd to get so riled about the actions of a 5 y.o that you would ask whether they were unreasonable. It's in the job description of a 5 yo surely and the job of grown-ups to show them the way. Admittedly girl's parents not doing this job at that particular moment.

petrolpump28 · 10/06/2018 18:51

blimey slow news day.

Clarebobacus · 10/06/2018 18:52

To be honest as your child was not paying, the girl had every right to jump on the ride. She should have asked but as you said, she was 5.

Allthewaves · 10/06/2018 19:06

My youngest looked 5 when he was 3

Boulty · 10/06/2018 19:13

LOL so a paying child has to stand around waiting for a child that hasn't paid to finish. She shouldn't have pushed but being so young probably didn't know how to tell the grown up that they are sitting in a ride that she wants to pay to go on yet not actually 'using' it.

YABU

hopelessandhopeful · 10/06/2018 19:13

Is this for real? She's 5. Only 5 years in the world to learn social etiquette and boundaries, and be able to guess what you are thinking and what your next actions might be.

I hope you don't put these kinds of unrealistic expectations on your 3yo!

hopelessandhopeful · 10/06/2018 19:14

The problem of your story is not the 5yos actions when unsupervised, but the fact that she was.

clyde5591 · 10/06/2018 19:31

Your son was not a paying customer - must assume from OP you put him on the car ride and hoped that would please.

Another child, 5yrs old! came with her money and wanted to go on the car ride - and your issue it with the children?

Livingsymbol · 10/06/2018 19:39

When my DD did something similar I was so embarrassed, she knows better.

I took her home & she went & seen DH she said that she had a fight with some boy to DH & he high five’d Her & encouraged her bad behaviour Angry

DH response was rather her doing it & being able to fight back then her being weak & bullied

Pigflewpast · 10/06/2018 19:46

Haven't RTFT as have paint to watch drying. Must be rubbish TV tonight to get this trending.

Strongmummy · 10/06/2018 19:47

As the adult in the situation I think you could have handled it better. If you’d seen that the girl was waiting you should have just moved your son immediately. The purpose of the ride is to pay so that it can move and your son was therefore not officially “using” it.

Honeyroar · 10/06/2018 20:31

She was an over excited five year old who probably thought your son's turn had already finished because the car wasn't moving. If her parents were there they should've told her to wait while you got your son out, but she shouldn't have had to wait while your son had an unpaid go, you should have got him out while she paid for a ride and put him back in when the paying customer had gone. They're designed to be paid rides that make money, they're not swings in a park..

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 10/06/2018 20:37

Do you really need it explaining. You just say my son will be finished shortly he doesn’t like it when the car moves then you can have your turn. Thanks for waiting.

Virgo28 · 10/06/2018 20:42

To be honest I'm more concerned about where the adult was? There is no way at 5 I would have let my child wander of to go to a ride outside a supermarket on their own. I'd also like to think that mine wouldn't try to get on a ride that someone else was already sat on either but as we all know anything can happen with an excited kid 😃

Pompom42 · 10/06/2018 20:51

YABU OP
Paying customers first I believe

BakedBeans47 · 10/06/2018 20:55

She ideally wouldn’t have pushed but jeez she was 5. No big deal.

Dillydallyer · 10/06/2018 20:58

YABU.

My son didn’t used to like the rides moving. I would let him play on them but as soon as a child came with money to have a go I would take him off. If you went to Alton Towers and someone just wanted to have a sit down on nemesis rather than actually ride it you wouldn’t be impressed.

liz70 · 10/06/2018 21:01

"then you can have your turn"

I give up.

qazxc · 10/06/2018 21:06

YABU, you should have removed your son as soon as you saw someone approaching that intended to pay.
She's a small child, it doesnt sound like she shoved your son off, it sounds like she was really excited. Maybe she thought they would both fit? She certainly could not have known about the fact that he didn't like the ride moving or making noise.

Roversandrhodes · 10/06/2018 21:10

She’s 5,get over it !

MrsMint · 10/06/2018 21:12

Pushing in seems to be the norm for a large section of the population these days. Polite queuing, is alien to many, shall we say, groups...

Juells · 10/06/2018 21:15

Polite queuing, is alien to many, shall we say, groups...

Hmm

Like 5-year-olds?