For not moving on the bus

[LOL7]

Hello,
Firstly a bit of background about me- I am 24 weeks pregnant and have pulled a muscle in my bump, I have back issues (previous surgery) and am not allowed to drive due to medical reasons so I have a disability bus pass. I am 22, look very young and to look at me I look 'normal'- e.g not obviously disabled or pregnant.
Today I was on the bus with my ds in his pushchair, he was fast asleep and I had a few bags underneath. A lot of old ladies were on the bus discussing how my son looks at least 3.5 years (he turned 3 yesterday), so shouldn't be using a pushchair, and back in their day he would have had to come out and they would have folded it up. Then some more elderly ladies came on the bus and I could hear them all discussing how I should be moving the push chair and offering up my front seat-although no one was standing. Then as the bus got more full, we stopped for a carer and a man in a wheelchair, the carer parked the wheelchair next to the bus stop so I stayed seated assuming they weren't wanting to come on, the carer asked the driver if there was space and then said 'we will wait for the next one in 10 minutes', so I stayed where I was. Then a lady who was waiting at the same stop came on the bus and told the driver he is required by law to tell the push chair to get off so that the wheel chair can come on. The driver said it's whoever is on first and the lady said 'pushchairs can be folded'- I would have folded the pushchair if I had to however I didn't offer too because 1.my son was asleep 2.i struggle to fold it down due to the pain in my bump and back 3.they had chosen to wait for the next one themselves.
Of course for the next 15 minute journey I could hear all of the elderly ladies discussing how awful I am and wrong and how I am young and fit and should have just got off or be stood up. When we got to the last stop and everyone was getting off, the lady who was sat next to me stood up and pointed at the seat where the wheelchair goes (the one that goes backwards and folds up) and said 'that's where you should be sitting isn't it' I said 'sorry, why should i sit there?' She said 'because you have a push chair, so you should be there' and I said again 'why should I have to sit there?' And she pointed to where I was sat and said 'that says for the disabled and elderly!' So I showed her my disability pass and said 'I am disabled! And I'm pregnant!' She stopped for a second and said yet again 'well you should be sitting there!'
I got off the bus shaking and holding back tears, it was absolutely horrible listening to everyone say how selfish and vile I am.
So, WIBU for staying where I was?

Actually sorry, I’ve changed my mind After reading the post again. Your push chair was taking up the WC space and so yes, you should have absolutely have woken your child and folded it. In fact, I think they’re right. You are absolutely obliged to do so

Ok now you have lost any sympathy i had
You had no intention of moving.
Of course a buggy should be moved for a wheelchair.
My persons wc would not be able to fit in a space with a buggy.

What I didn’t get is by your own admission you would have had to at least move temporarily for the wheelchair to get on so why didn’t you as soon as you saw that someone in a wheelchair needed to get on?

This is why I am pleased I drive so rarely need to use public transport with ds. Another case of everyone expecting someone else to make the effort meaning that someone was needlessly left behind.

Next time, just ask somebody to help you to fold the poster. I have a disability and I always find lovely people who are willing to help, but if you don’t ask, they don’t know to help you.

Ignore people who make comments about you without knowing you, they don’t know you and our ignorant.

Also, is the man in the wheelchair was willing to wait, I wouldn’t be too upset. If he was in a hurry and really needed to get on the bus and had asked to get on the bus, then it would’ve been another matter.

I wish the UK was like alot of European countires were if you have a pram and a wheelchair wants to get on you have to move/ fold up or you get off no ifs no butts (the bus will not move until you comply and if you still dont move the police will be called and they will move you and you get a nice juicy fine for your efforts)

But sadly in the UK people think buggies are more important then wheel chairs and it is the reason that wheel chair users have to take bus companies to court as they are soft as wet noodles dealing with buggy users that refuse to fold up or move.

I have been reading this thread with interest. I have a genetic disorder which is gradually disabling me (I also have a chronic neurological disorder which may or may not be linked). I also have 3 children, youngest 7 months. I have been advised by the gp that it's not safe for me to drive but it's not one of the automatic disqualifying conditions.

I don't have a disabled pass for the bus. Tbh, I didn't know it existed. I am on long term sick leave paid for by my employee health insurance, I have no benefits related to my condition.

I can't stand for any length of time at all. I used to, and was planning to, use a sling while on the bus/train but I am no longer strong enough to do it (haven't been able since he was about 3 months old). So he's always in the pram. The buses here have a wheelchair space and a weird section with fold up seats everyone sticks a buggy in - they say 2 buggies max but they could in theory both fit in the wheelchair space?

The bus drivers don't let you fold. Not even to get on the bus when it's got 2 buggies on already. There's no luggage section for them.

But wheelchair users need that space.

I wish the needs of parents with small children weren't constantly set against the needs of people using mobility aids. It's just like all the times they cram the baby change in the accessible toilet. It'd be nice if people remembered that other people can straddle both catagories. (Where exactly did the op say she was pain free? Do any of you think about the spoons theory when telling her about what exertion she's capable of? If I had to get off and get another bus to accommodate a wheelchair, depending on the circumstances that might wipe out the rest of the day/next few days. Disabilities fucking suck).

You acknowledge that the presence of your buggy meant they assumed there was no room, why wouldn't you gesticulate or start moving it to facilitate them coming on?

Your not wrong disability does suck.
Being in a wheelchair sucks big time, only having the option of one space on a bus sucks.
Its a wheelchair space.

if a pushchair is already on board then they do not have to get off the bus or move.

Where I live they don't give forwarding tickets (Arriva) and their company policy is that it's first come, first served for use of the space. I left the bus for a person in a wheelchair as there was no luggage rack to store my folded pushchair and only learned this when I tried to use my ticket to board the next bus. I was told it's not valid and I needed to buy a new one and that it was my own fault for leaving the bus in the first place. I had no cash on me, had used the last of it to pay for the original ticket, so ended up having to walk around an unfamiliar residential area to try and find a shop for cashback or a cashpoint. I couldn't find either so ended up walking the remaining four miles into the city centre. I emailed a complaint to customer services and they confirmed that the driver was correct - no forwarding tickets, they have no obligation towards me as I left the bus voluntarily, I should have stayed on the bus, and the space is first come first served. When asked how this fits in with equality law and a wheelchair users right to an accessible space I was told that their conditions of carriage take precedence over it.

It's no wonder people are resistant to fold their pushchairs when the bus companies act like this.

Hey, OP, I’m sending you a ((hug))

mother that’s appalling. No good deed goes unpunished eh?

Yanbu. You have a disability yourself and were in pain. Sorry you had a tough day.

They were rude and inappropriate. Likewise the elderly woman who had a go at my daughter in a public toilet shouting that she had 'no right to be in the ladies' - a girl with short hair! People judge and make too many assumptions. I'm sorry you were so upset.

I’m assuming op didn’t fold the wheelchair as she is currently disabled with a back issue , I’m 25 weeks with pelvic girdle pain and I’d struggle too . She did the right thing in not moving

Not everyone can afford to pay a second bus fare if they get off the bus to accommodate a wheelchair user. It’s shocking that companies do this

that’s appalling. No good deed goes unpunished eh?

And it fuels animosity over the space and creates a Them vs Us territorialism over it.

YABU. You should have folded up your buggy (or asked for help if you were unable to), not just sat there in silence hoping everything would go away.

I think everything else you’ve posted is irrelevant and just fluff.

Wheelchairs have priority over buggies, as they cannot be folded while buggies can. Unfortunately bus drivers cannot yet force pushchair users to fold or remove them from the bus, but wheelchair users should always take priority.

The wheelchair space is for wheelchairs and their occupants, not for people with disabilities.

I'm a bit confused as to whether it was you, your pushchair or the other ladies who were preventing the wheelchair user gaining access but whoever it was should have moved - regardless of their age or disability.

i think you were totally wrong sorry! i got off the bus after only going one stop as a wheelchair user wanted to get on. that was me my 4 kids (one in the pram and one who is disabled but not in a wheelchair) we were all stood in the wheelchair area though as thats what it is a space for wheelchairs not disabilities. im not sure why if there was space you didnt call out and say there is room, instead of hoping it would go away. thats probably why they didnt get on as they probably thought you were being difficult. if you couldnt fold them why didnt you get off and wait for the next? are you in london? in london you either have to fold or get off so i think you AND the driver were wrong.

YABU.
Whether or not there is physically space for a wheelchair and a pushchair to fit into the wheelchair space or not health and safety policies dictate that the entire wheelchair space must be vacated in order for a wheelchair to be placed there and wheelchairs have absolute priority to that space by law.
You had the option to fold the buggy and frankly if you are unable to do so you probably shouldn't be using one if you wish to travel on a bus with your 3 year old (as buggies are not necessary at 3).

i have a disability and a 4 month old baby. I have got of the bus in the pouring rain/hail as a wheelchair user needed the space. That's how it works. Why should they wait for the next bus? However, I have had to voluntarily do this as ive heard drivers tell the wheelchair user 'sorry no room' and I've had to shout that there was room and get off. The sign on the bus says wheelchair users have priority. First come first served is bull.