She won't let our friendship die!

[Jackfruitburger]

I know I might get flamed for this but I don't know what to do! A friend from college is turning 30 next week and she's asked me to meet her for drinks on the evening . We haven't seen each other since January and I hoped that she'd found some new friends who she might have a bit more in common with.
In college we were both on the same page, going out, coursework, arguing with parents etc. We started drifting when we went to different universities and afterwards, as our attitudes to work were very different. She has always wanted to be an actress and refuses to consider any other career. That said, she doesn't put in the work to get there so doesn't audition or do much amateur dramatics. She just goes to see plays and hopes to make connections
I've always worked, and now I have two children and have just bought a house. It is hard when we meet to find things to talk about as our lives are so different. I'm chasing a three year old around a cafe whilst feeding my newborn whilst she talks for 40 minutes about whether to text a boy back or wait for him to text her.
Last year she had to move back home as her parents stopped paying for her to live in an expensive university town. I met up with her on her birthday last year (with the kids) and she cried off and on all day about her situation (no job, no boyfriend, living with parents etc) but I think I managed to cheer her up a bit. This year she has asked if we can go out for a meal and a few drinks (I feel I should offer to pay as it's her birthday) and I don't know if I should go.
She said it will just be us (as no one else has replied/is busy) and that if I don't come then she'll have no birthday plans. I honestly can't really afford to, as I've had to pay our solicitors bill this month, but part of me feels that I should go for her, and to stop being selfish. It's just going to be excruciating as we're not close anymore and I'm sure there will be lots more crying than last year.
Help!

@Jux your health is the most important thing in the world, this girl definitely takes good health for granted.

Take her to the theatre, but before hand do a bit of research into how one or two of the actors stated out ie their 1st jobs , 1st acting role and how long ago it was , hopfully this will make her realise just how much hard work has to go into acting .

That is way too much work!

You seem to expect her to understand your life (kids etc) but don't seem to be showing her the same courtesy. She doesn't have kids or quite the same responsibilities but it doesn't mean she doesn't deserve friendship. Talking about texting a guy back would have been important to you once too probably. That's still the stage in life she's at as she doesn't have a partner or children. Try to understand it.

I should say that this is wuite raw for me as I've lost several friends when they got married and had kids. Not through my lack of trying or understanding of their responsibilities or tiredness.

I don't know aspiring actresses can be prone to dramatics.

What were her reasons for sobbing? Other than someone she knows was having a party on the day she was thinking about having a do and not getting enough Happy Birthdays on FB?
It sounds as though she's quite prone to having the odd meltdown on birthdays? Last year was the same although that time it was over not having a job or boyfriend and the whole evening was spent discussing Her.

She did say rather dramatically that "if you don't come, she'll have no birthday plans!" Now it transpires she was planning a party for Saturday.

I have a suspicion she rather enjoys putting on a performance and having lots of attention and people falling over themselves to cheer her up. Which you managed to do after about an hour.

Sorry this friendship sounds very one sided. Is she interested in your life at all or are your evenings always spent listening to her woes which are never her fault. She sounds like hard work.